It's a bloody dog!

[MammaKel]

Ugh, I didn't realise how batshit crazy people were about their "furbabies."

We went to a family gathering yesterday where SIL and BIL and their DDog were - they don't have kids, and DDog is their baby but omg.

I could get past the calling each other mummy and daddy, calling my in laws grandma and grandpa and telling my kids he was their fur cousin and showing us pictures of taking him to see " Santa Paws" but there were two instances that genuinely made me cringe a bit ..

We were exchanging gifts, and they asked me where DDogs were, I laughed because I thought they were joking, but nope, totally serious and was upset he'd be left out, so I apologised (for some reason) and moved on very quickly..

The next one was that the dog was getting a bit agitated, and they said he was tired and getting a bit cranky, so they were leaving so he could have a nap..

I'm mostly being light-hearted, and I'm an animal lover (have 4 cats), but I just didn't realise how far it went AIBU or is this just the norm now?

We were exchanging gifts, and they asked me where DDogs were, I laughed because I thought they were joking, but nope, totally serious

Maybe they are tired of forking out for presents for your kids and were making a point about expectations around spending.

@MammaKel The next one was that the dog was getting a bit agitated

lmao I thought you were about to write it was because it didn’t get any presents 😭😭😭😭

I love dogs but yeah some people go overboard. I already know it’s going to be a headache between me and DP when we get one because as much as I love them, I was raised in a “no dogs on the sofa or beds” household but DP doesn’t mind at all

Well of course it affects them if they get told off for not buying the bloody dog a present!

@Thatcastlethere
but by that reckoning, nobody consents to having nieces, nephews etc as part of the family, just the parents.
Perhaps the OP’s SIL and BIL are sick of having to spend lots of money catering to and buying gifts for all the children in the family that they didn’t “consent to”.

They sound mentally unhinged .

Hahaha yes, that's what happened

I'd make a bitchy comment but we're very grateful when people spend on our children, no matter the amount although it's not expected and I wouldn't question it if a present wasn't bought.

Not your business or place to judge. Just make it up to the dog with a decent birthday present and don't leave him out next Christmas. He is their family which means he's your family too, you don't get to decide who to include and who to exclude.

My DH refuses to pander to "mummy and daddy" type idioms to our two dogs, so he says "Go find The Woman!"

I don't think it's fair to assume that anyone who uses cutesy names for their dogs or buys them presents will automatically have an untrained dog, it just isn't true. Not all of the time anyway...

My neighbours dog buys our dogs gifts. 😆

I'm really sorry for the loss of your beloved doggie. 🥺

Well if you can't tell the difference between a child and an animal's role in the family, then you have my deepest sympathy

Sorry to see this. I have read that losing a dog can be more painful than losing a family member. Obviously it all depends on your relationship with your family... but if you live with a dog, they are a constant presence.
Mine is on borrowed time now, and people experienced with pet loss have told me that too. I have been told it will be the worse day of my life when the Rainbow Bridge beckons.

Utterly, utterly bonkers

So do I! He will only hold one of his ‘sons’ though. He won’t hold the hissy one! 😂

So by that logic then they should be buying my four cats a birthday and Christmas present too?

I'll jot down their birthdays and a list of Christmas presents for the cats and send it to them as, like you say, it's their family too.

I love dogs, have 4 and also work with dogs.

But yes that's ridiculous. The whole mummy/daddy thing and Santa paws would have me eye rolling and cringing.

Also a big believer in the humanising and babying of dogs is what causes a whole host of badly behaved animals.

Ur not being unreasonable OP

Well they'd be related legally.. they'd be legally listed as your family. There's no way of saying 'they aren't my family' and that being factual.
Whereas a dog has an owner and that's it's owner. It doesn't legally or by blood become part of anyone else's family. You can't get the hump if members of your family don't acknowledge it as a family member really..
Whereas I think it would be pretty legitimate to get the hump if someone in your family refused to acknowledge an adopted or step child as part of the family...
But I think we agree really.
It's fine to feel however you want about your pets.. it's not fine to think anyone else should feel that way.. or have expectations about how they should be treated beyond people not being abusive or unkind towards them.
They aren't human beings. They don't become part of your wider family just because you've decided to buy one.

I checked into a very nice hotel on Christmas Eve for a 3 night break with our dog & DH

dog was given a Christmas present on arrival consisting of lots of different doggie treats a squeaky bone toy a portable water ball and a letter for us humans telling us where the best walks and parks are for him

DH and I got nothing apart from the bill and a cookie in the room 😂

Staff at the hotel were lovely and there were also several other dogs in the hotel

If we wanted to eat in the hotel they offered us a table set up in lobby area so not in the main dining area but we were visiting friends and family so didn’t eat in the hotel and had room service a few times

We treat him as a dog so strict rules boundaries and plenty of walks to tire him out
bit like toddlers 😂

I'm sorry 😢

You're not being a Debbie downer at all. We had friends whose dog was was treated as an actual child too, my friend would receive Mother's Day cards and gift from it, it was the main focus whenever we were all together, spoken about as if it was their child and not a pet dog. Then they had children and it was completely sidelined and became almost a nuisance to them.

Bonkers thing to say. Some, not most, might be ‘uncontrolled’ . It’s a bit like saying most kids are feral and aren’t taught boundaries. Some are feral, but not most.

This. I don't care what people call their dogs tbh. (The present thing is ridiculous)

But I do care when a badly trained dog jumps on me or my DC, pisses on or steals my belongings.

No, to quote the OP - IT'S A BLOODY DOG!!!

As I posted before, they can treat it as "family" and buy it Christmas presents and so on, but they cannot expect other people to buy into their delusions as that is batshit crazy.

Thanks everyone, it’s been a very hard loss. I think of him every day and miss him so very much. It’s surprising what they bring to your home every day, it’s the energy you miss - you don’t realise until it’s gone.

Had one in church on Christmas Day. Not a guide dog or such either.
Dogs are everywhere now.

A couple of years ago I bought some Dreamies stockings , one had "Best Cat" one had "Purr-Fect Cat" , I had to make sure they bith got the same .
I don;t need to give the cats any more ammunition to hate me

"Well this is the giddy limit , this is . He;s BEST CAT and I'm just PURR-FECT CAT " .........I'd have a (very small) animals head on my bed .