It's a bloody dog!

[MammaKel]

Ugh, I didn't realise how batshit crazy people were about their "furbabies."

We went to a family gathering yesterday where SIL and BIL and their DDog were - they don't have kids, and DDog is their baby but omg.

I could get past the calling each other mummy and daddy, calling my in laws grandma and grandpa and telling my kids he was their fur cousin and showing us pictures of taking him to see " Santa Paws" but there were two instances that genuinely made me cringe a bit ..

We were exchanging gifts, and they asked me where DDogs were, I laughed because I thought they were joking, but nope, totally serious and was upset he'd be left out, so I apologised (for some reason) and moved on very quickly..

The next one was that the dog was getting a bit agitated, and they said he was tired and getting a bit cranky, so they were leaving so he could have a nap..

I'm mostly being light-hearted, and I'm an animal lover (have 4 cats), but I just didn't realise how far it went AIBU or is this just the norm now?

Yep I think it's wild. DP mum won't leave her dog indoors for 10 mins to pop over the road to the local shop if she needed necessities she'd just go without until someone can come and watch the 'furbaby'😀

Also will only go to dog friendly restaurants as the dog HAS to come. It's very vocal and wouldn't shut up in a restaurant and someone at the bar said 'I wish she'd shut her dog up' she was dwelling on it for weeks saying how rude it is! - your dog non stop barking in a restaurants rude👏🏽

One year we had to sit outside the restaurant to eat on a little fold up chair set as the dog wasn't allowed in, it was winter and me and DP were sat shivering the whole time!😆

@anonny55 why do you put up with this nonsense?

Certainly never within my hearing in 38 years of taking our animals to the vet. My friend who is a vet (and not a cousin) doesn’t say mummy or daddy either.

They coo about ‘what a lovely boy, what a handsome boy, what a good boy’ when calming him during examinations or vaccinations etc. But not “look at mummy” or such nonsense.

If my Mum had a treat, I’d say “go see Jean,” not Nana - my mother would think I’d lost my marbles if I implied she was the dog’s grandma.

If people want to use infantilising terms about their pets between themselves, no worries. Call their partner Hubby or Hubster or Snookums while they are at it. It’s all the same sort of thing.

If they expect anyone else to take part, then they are into the crazy realm.

The biggest problem with ‘fur baby’ and ‘full member of the family’ dog owners is that they don’t stop at treating their dogs as human infants. They also regard human infants as being no more important or special than their dogs.

You see dog-child equivalence from the loopier sort of dog owners all the time on MN dog threads. These people have lost their way. It would be sad if it wasn’t so alarming.

One dog owner on here proposed an NHS for dogs a while ago.

or should I also be buying presents for FILs chickens?

In a flat choice, I vote for the chickens. At least they provide you with breakfast.

This seems like a pretty incoherent post itself to be fair... I have no idea what point you're trying to make.... aside from the fact that neither your vet nor your GP is your cousin. Thank you for clarifying that point at least 😂

Our previous vet would definitely say stuff to our dog like "your mum says you've got a sore ear...." when he examined the pet. It was just his way and it's a nice kind, friendly manner of talking to the animal. Obviously when he was speaking to me he used my forename. I don't think I'd be happy if the vet didn't talk to my pet at all and only spoke to me, that would feel very cold and impersonal. Surely it's important that they do speak to the dog by way of reassurance...? Maybe it depends on the vet practice - ours was a small independent practice until recently and we had a 25 year relationship with the staff there.

Our vet will call me by my forename and I call them by theirs. To call you in they'll use the pets name and to the vet nurses/receptionists I'll be either forename or Mrs surname. However, when the vet talks to the pet to reassure them they'll say to them "your mum's here..." etc.

I thought that was pretty standard but clearly it's not.

@Rummly
I've had dogs for almost 50 years and I've never met anyone who treats their dog as a human infant. Referring to yourself as your dogs Mum has nothing whatsoever to do with treating it as a child substitute. That is a myth perpetuated by anti-dog people.

@anonny55
I do agree that dogs do not belong in restaurants (or shops). It's cruel to the dog.

I refer to myself and DH as mummy and daddy when I am talking to the dogs (written down that sounds absolutely bonkers!) but I would only ever do that at home, I promise I am completely normal in public 😂
I do have two human children though so I am not using the dogs as a replacement for my own offspring which a lot of child free by choice people seem to do.

We have a dog and refer to mum and dad simply because it’s easy. He’s part of the family and gets presents, obviously at a far lower value. As for the nap…they were probably right, they recognise the behaviour in their dog and act accordingly. Ours is still young and he’s the same, he’ll be restless and start to act up if he’s tired but can’t settle if the house is busy. To be honest, pre kids I didn’t understand that a DC could be tired if they’re suddenly being a bit looney.

I haven’t read all the replies here but your in laws sound nuts.

we have a dog. She is our family but she is still a dog. Yes I’m her “mum” and she is her “dad”. When he gets home from work I say dad’s home and she runs to the door to wait for him. My dad also refers to himself as grandad to the dog. However, we buy our dog gifts for Xmas but nobody else does. Every time my dad comes to the house he comes with a pocket full of treats so no different to any other day. It’s quite funny.

if people want to gift our dog that’s fine but in no way would I get upset because they didn’t

my mum has a cat I don’t buy gifts for her cat

I’m not sure you read or thought about my post properly. Your comment doesn’t relate to what I wrote.

Except all the dog owners in here who think it’s batshit to refer to digs as ‘fur babies’ though people clearly do, and as for people who say their dog has human ‘cousins’ well, that’s a step too far for even some of the furbaby-why didn’t you get fluffy a Christmas present when I got your child a present people…

I think I'm with most people here in thinking that the whole present scenario was crazy. I did get my dog a present, but I'm under no illusions that she has no idea what Christmas is about and no way would I expect a present from anyone else.

However, the nap thing makes sense. OP said the dog was a bit agitated. It is absolutely the sensible thing to do to remove the dog from that situation. Not alll dogs are able to disengage and take themselves away for a nap. Lots of dog bites happen at Christmas as dogs are overwhelmed and unable to cope. That's not something you can necessarily train. Managing the situation is the best thing to do!

You said "they don't stop at treating their dogs as human infants..." and used the term dog-child equivalence....

I've never met anyone who treats their dog as a child.

My mother always insists that I am DDog's mummy. I'm not but I can't get her to stop saying it.

Ok a thought experiment, humour me.
Lets say you have a human baby and a furbaby

House is on fire, furbaby and human baby both trapped and you can only rescue one before house crashes on you all.
Would you:
Rescue furbaby?
Or
Rescue human baby?

Anyone who says furbaby first you are kidding yourself or you aren’t actually parents .

Those who feel guilty they would rescue their child before a much loved pet- don’t be. Millions of years of evolution have made it pretty much impossible for us to do anything else.

Years ago there was a thread asking a similar question, but, IIRC, it was “if you could only save either a stranger’s child or your own dog from a burning building, which would you save?”

Plenty of dog owners came along to say they value the life of their dog over a child’s.

This is daft. I don't engage with these hypotheticals regardless, but I have a dog and no children so I'm not going to pretend I would know how this felt. However, I could just as easily say 'imagine you have two children. You can only save one from a burning building. Which one?'. It's a pointless question, it's horrific to imagine, and nobody truly knows how they'd react until they were in that situation.

Of course it matters, it’s insane behaviour.

You realise that the majority of people wouldn't want your life? They wouldn't understand why you do what you do, chose the partner(s) you have, made the choices you have, do the job you do, chose one kind of pet over another or no pet.

The fact that you have made different choices to some and behave differently to others doesn't make you insane. It just makes you, you.

Choosing to treat a dog like a child isn't insane behaviour from these people. It's just different to what you would do.

Why can’t your Mum just call the dog over for a treat, or your husband call the dog to sit beside him (if he wants it to)?
Why do you have to manage it’s interactions with everyone else?

From my knowledge of dog owners, and being one myself (quite dedicated and no kids) I would say this is quite high end dog dedication / obsession if you see if like that. Maybe 5-10% max dog owners would be like this. I get being gooey but I wouldn't expect other people to get my dog presents if I had never hinted at it at all. I may leave a gathering if my dog is tired/stringy. I accept that seems OTT for some people but I am not ashamed of being dedicated to the dog. But I draw lines on making other people get it gifts and play with it joyously if they are not dog people. My parents will not have her in their house which I dislike but have not confronted them over....yet. We are 16 months into having her for info.

I can't believe the outrage in here over this.It is not wrong to love your dog and treat them as a family member if you want to, who the heck is it hurting? I don't know anyone that expects others to play along or buy their dog gifts, I certainly don't do it. As I said before I call my dog my furson, it's a joke 😆I'm seriously not treating him like a human child, get a grip you miserable fun sponges . A mean spirited poster quoted my post adding "seek help" 🙄 For crying out loud, really ??? it's just light hearted fun!