Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To think the child should have the room?

85 replies

YellowDoorYellowFloor · 27/12/2024 11:52

I visited an old school friend over Christmas who I will call Hannah.

Hannah lives in a modern town house-type home- bottom floor open plan living/dining room with separate kitchen, middle floor master bedroom with en suite, 2nd reasonable sized room and a 4th bedroom which is really a box room then on the top floor another good sized bedroom and a fair sized landing area with great natural light.

Hannah has 2 DC, aged 10 and 8. The 10 yr old has the reasonable sized room on the middle floor, and the 8yr old is in the box room. The room on the top floor has a bed in for guests and a desk for Hannah for her hobby (neither Hannah nor her DH work from home).

The room the 8yr old is in is so small literally it’s just a single bed and a chest of drawers- no wardrobe, no space for toys or to play (although he does have toys downstairs)

AIBU to be surprised you’d leave one of your children in such a tiny room when there is an alternative?

(I am aware her house, her choices but I really felt for the child. They are very middle class and the children are clearly loved and looked after but I just thought it a strange way to prioritise space. And no, as far as I’m aware there are no regular guests who come to stay)

OP posts:

BobbyBiscuits · 27/12/2024 11:54

Well, why don't you tell her you think that. In front of both her daughters. 🙄

TickingAlongNicely · 27/12/2024 11:56

Lots of parents dont like small children on a different floor.

And lots of children get attached to their bedrooms.

SometimesCalmPerson · 27/12/2024 11:57

They probably want to be on the same floor. These new build townhouses are completely impractical for most families.

MumChp · 27/12/2024 11:58

None of your business but yes we would do rooms different.

TotallyTwisted · 27/12/2024 11:58

Is it really so hard to work out that they don't want an 8yo on a different floor from the rest of the family?

DragonGypsyDoris · 27/12/2024 11:58

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

doodleschnoodle · 27/12/2024 11:59

It'll be the different floor. It's an awkward layout. I wouldn't want an under 10 on a diff floor from me for various reasons. Perhaps 8yo doesn't really care anyway? Some kids don't really play much in their rooms till they're older, so maybe the 8yo happily plays elsewhere and just uses it for sleep.

CatherinedeBourgh · 27/12/2024 12:01

I had a 6 bedroom house with several large bedrooms, both my dc shared the smallest bedroom in the house.

They said it was cozy, and didn't want anything else.

NC10125 · 27/12/2024 12:02

Lots of 8 year olds still have nightmares which they need an adult for, or creep into a parents bed in the early morning. My guess is that they’ve bought a house with that setup with the view that the 8 year old will move upstairs in teenage years.

comedycentral · 27/12/2024 12:03

I imagine it was their baby's room at some point, and as they are still fairly little, they are still on the same floor. I expect they will have a good shift around at some point. It's not like the kids' room under the stairs like Harry Potter's.

WaitingForMojo · 27/12/2024 12:03

One of my dds has chosen the box room over a bigger room. She likes feeling secure. Maybe the child prefers the small room?

yorktown · 27/12/2024 12:04

I'd also want my 8 year old on the same floor as me, with a view to changing things around at the teenage stage.

pelargoniums · 27/12/2024 12:10

I wouldn’t have bought that house with that layout but if I had, I’d have done the same thing: all the kids on the same floor until old enough or indicated they wanted the other bedroom. (We moved when I was nine and I went into the attic bedroom by request.)

What’s wrong with a small cosy room?

You've just reminded me that I’ve got a friend with a townhouse and her DD5 sleeps on the first floor in the only bedroom there, while they sleep on the second floor. I’m going round right now to have a word.

Liesmorelies · 27/12/2024 12:14

I think it's rude to stay with someone and then post about their home and family like this, albeit anonymously. It doesn't affect you in any way and why have you assumed this outrage is all 'Hannah's' doing? It could have been her dh, or, most likely and as is blindingly obvious to most people, the child was in that room as a baby when they need to be on the same floor as parents/siblings and doesn't want to change.

StormingNorman · 27/12/2024 12:14

Separate floors are not the issue some are making it out to be. My DN have had their own floor since toddlers and nobody is emotionally scarred by it or fallen down the stairs.

I wouldn’t have kept a child in a box room with no space to play or have their toys around them.

devongirl12 · 27/12/2024 12:16

Yeah, it's obviously the different level issue, OP. It's an awkward layout but if I lived there it's probably what I would do as well.

I don't think there is anything more to it.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 27/12/2024 12:17

What does their class have to do with anything at all?

Katemax82 · 27/12/2024 12:30

I wouldn't inflict a bix room on my kids if a bigger room was available!!

Katemax82 · 27/12/2024 12:30

I wouldn't inflict a bix room on my kids if a bigger room was available!!

Mumsntfan1 · 27/12/2024 12:31

Maybe in few years when the 10 year old is a bit older she'll move to the bigger room upstairs and the younger child will have her room. I understand the parents wanting them on the same floor at the moment.

Anywherebuthere · 27/12/2024 12:32

Her family's sleeping arrangements are none of your business. They are loved and looked after as you say yourself.

Personally i would rather have young children on the same floor as myself.

And if the parents are on the ground floor for any reason it's difficult to keep any ear out for the child on the 2nd floor but they would be able to hear them on the 1st floor.

C152 · 27/12/2024 12:32

Perhaps her children want to be on the same floor as each other? It's poor house design that creates these situations people just have to make the best of.

MargaretThursday · 27/12/2024 12:36

There are reasonable reasons why they have that room.

However I did judge when a relative gave her child the box room on the 2nd floor while keeping the second largest (could fit 2 king size beds in) bedroom for their "walk in wardrobe". Both of the large rooms were on the 1st floor, and there was a box room on the first floor. They wanted that box room for their shoe cupboard...

Applepoop · 27/12/2024 12:36

The child is probably loads happier near their family at this stage.

ChristmasPostman · 27/12/2024 12:40

You’ve seriously come onto an online forum to ask a load of strangers to assist you in judging your “friend” ?

Flip

1 2 3 4