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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the child should have the room?

85 replies

YellowDoorYellowFloor · 27/12/2024 11:52

I visited an old school friend over Christmas who I will call Hannah.

Hannah lives in a modern town house-type home- bottom floor open plan living/dining room with separate kitchen, middle floor master bedroom with en suite, 2nd reasonable sized room and a 4th bedroom which is really a box room then on the top floor another good sized bedroom and a fair sized landing area with great natural light.

Hannah has 2 DC, aged 10 and 8. The 10 yr old has the reasonable sized room on the middle floor, and the 8yr old is in the box room. The room on the top floor has a bed in for guests and a desk for Hannah for her hobby (neither Hannah nor her DH work from home).

The room the 8yr old is in is so small literally it’s just a single bed and a chest of drawers- no wardrobe, no space for toys or to play (although he does have toys downstairs)

AIBU to be surprised you’d leave one of your children in such a tiny room when there is an alternative?

(I am aware her house, her choices but I really felt for the child. They are very middle class and the children are clearly loved and looked after but I just thought it a strange way to prioritise space. And no, as far as I’m aware there are no regular guests who come to stay)

OP posts:
pimplebum · 31/12/2024 20:45

When i was a teen I absolutely craved the box room but my mean parents would not let me swap from my huge Victorian room

interested in your use of “middle class” as an indicator of being nice parents…

metellaestinatrio · 31/12/2024 20:49

CatherinedeBourgh · 27/12/2024 12:01

I had a 6 bedroom house with several large bedrooms, both my dc shared the smallest bedroom in the house.

They said it was cozy, and didn't want anything else.

But I expect the bedroom has remarkable chimney pieces like the rest of Rosings Park?

HPandthelastwish · 31/12/2024 20:51

DD would actually love just a bed room for sleeping with no other distractions. As long as she had space for her stuff else where it's not an issue.

emziecy · 31/12/2024 21:00

YellowDoorYellowFloor · 27/12/2024 11:52

I visited an old school friend over Christmas who I will call Hannah.

Hannah lives in a modern town house-type home- bottom floor open plan living/dining room with separate kitchen, middle floor master bedroom with en suite, 2nd reasonable sized room and a 4th bedroom which is really a box room then on the top floor another good sized bedroom and a fair sized landing area with great natural light.

Hannah has 2 DC, aged 10 and 8. The 10 yr old has the reasonable sized room on the middle floor, and the 8yr old is in the box room. The room on the top floor has a bed in for guests and a desk for Hannah for her hobby (neither Hannah nor her DH work from home).

The room the 8yr old is in is so small literally it’s just a single bed and a chest of drawers- no wardrobe, no space for toys or to play (although he does have toys downstairs)

AIBU to be surprised you’d leave one of your children in such a tiny room when there is an alternative?

(I am aware her house, her choices but I really felt for the child. They are very middle class and the children are clearly loved and looked after but I just thought it a strange way to prioritise space. And no, as far as I’m aware there are no regular guests who come to stay)

Are you actually for real? Stay in your own lane love. It's absolutely none of your business.

Ayechinnyreckon · 31/12/2024 21:15

In our house it's the same because:

A) I don't want to be on a separate floor to my children

And

B) I don't believe having toys in bedrooms is good for children.

Our children have a playroom and all their toys live in there. We want to encourage "family" as much as possible and reduce the amount of time our kids spend alone in their rooms. At least until the teenage years!

Noodles1234 · 31/12/2024 21:56

I know a few parents who don’t like young children sleeping on a different floor to them. It’s probably this. Also leaves guests on a different floor so privacy all round.

Mummyto2boyz · 31/12/2024 23:17

I would hate my kids to be that far away at night and they would hate it too. My youngest would be scared if he wasn't close to my room. Possibly they plan to move the child up when they're older and need more space. Not sure why you are so bothered by it?

Pherian · 01/01/2025 00:32

Maybe the kid chose the room ? Not everyone wants the same things.

emziecy · 01/01/2025 03:51

Ayechinnyreckon · 31/12/2024 21:15

In our house it's the same because:

A) I don't want to be on a separate floor to my children

And

B) I don't believe having toys in bedrooms is good for children.

Our children have a playroom and all their toys live in there. We want to encourage "family" as much as possible and reduce the amount of time our kids spend alone in their rooms. At least until the teenage years!

Not everyone has the space for a 'playroom' and separate bedrooms for all their kids. If you do, that's great but not everyone has that.

TheOriginalEmu · 01/01/2025 03:56

My son loves his small room. I offered him my room and he didn’t want to swap. He likes the coziness of it.

Berlinlover · 01/01/2025 03:59

I had the box room growing up. I loved it as it was at the front of the house and I could wave to my friend across the road who slept in the box room in her house.

SnoopySantaPaws · 01/01/2025 04:10

What's going on in the second reasonable sized room?

oh & I don't get all the shitty comments about it not being any of your business. It's called a discussion. You're discussing (anonymously) the allocation of bedrooms, harmless chatter.

ForGreyKoala · 01/01/2025 05:14

How do you know the child didn't choose the room? I once made a small sunroom into my bedroom, even though there was a large bedroom vacant.

MamaBear4ever · 01/01/2025 11:35

Depends what you think bedrooms are for when they are 8. Our DCs didn't have toys in their rooms, the bedroom was for sleep and they had the rest of the house to play in. Now they are teens they want more private space but my DS at 13 loves his box room, he wouldn't swap it even if there was an alternative

whenwhenwhen · 01/01/2025 11:51

My DS (13) had a big bedroom, but didn't like it, and moved to a smaller room. Smaller bedrooms can feel cosier and safer.

Guavafish1 · 01/01/2025 12:11

I would move the child now that they are getting older

Padz · 01/01/2025 13:21

Our youngest daughter is in the smallest toom
in the house which is on the same floor as the rest of us (she’s 12).
we have a larger spare room on the ground floor but she didn’t want to sleep downstairs alone, maybe they have a similar reason.

MabelMora · 01/01/2025 13:23

It's got naff all to do with you, or anyone on here.

Eldermillennial2024 · 01/01/2025 13:26

YellowDoorYellowFloor · 27/12/2024 13:15

Genuinely interested in the responses- hadn’t thought of the keeping all on the same floor, which does make sense.

And also, 100% not my circus not my monkeys, but wasn’t aware of that being a criteria for AIBU. And it’s helped me understand.

Yes I'd definitely give my child the bigger room if not for it being on a different floor.

Something not being your business is not exactly a criteria for AIBU but you can just look like a nob if you post about something you clearly disapprove of but that has nothing to do with you

WatcherWatch · 01/01/2025 13:28

As a kid I started off in the box room. When I got older around 7 my mum asked if I wanted to move into a bigger room. I said no. I didn’t want to move until I was about 12. I loved the cosy feeling in the box room. It felt much safer.

Optigan · 01/01/2025 13:34

I should think the youngest child will make it known if they decide they want a larger room in the future. Then the two DC may be fighting over the airy, spacious top-floor hide-out😄

AhBiscuits · 01/01/2025 13:39

Our house has the same set up. We have our bedroom in the loft room, the kids have a double room each and the box room is my office and craft room.

CharlotteCChapel · 01/01/2025 13:40

My DD chose the box room as she felt safe in there. Probably undiagnosed autism.

littlesnatchabook · 01/01/2025 13:51

I would think it'll be so that they're all on the same floor. My son wouldn't want to sleep on another floor to me and I wouldn't feel happy with it either.

booksunderthebed · 01/01/2025 13:51

We have a similar layout house we are renting, the agent was very very adament that we are NOT allowed to use the top bedroom as a bedroom due to fire safety regulations.

Most houses here (ROI) for sale never describe the attic/top floor room as a bedroom, I guess for a similar reason.

In a previous house we put an older child in the top floor room, we had a fire ladder in there but I would not expect an 8 year old to be able to use one in an emergency.