To use the kids Christmas money to get me through January?

[darkmorning]

In a way I don’t know why I’m asking as I don’t have a choice really, but if the overall consensus is absolutely not I suppose I can use a credit card or something.

PIL gave both children £50 for their savings accounts. I’d have to put the cash in my bank account and transfer to their savings accounts: plan is to do this after I’ve been paid in January. Should I? Or is this just horrible?

Feeding your children today is more important than saving for their future

@Romanswindowcleaner i know but I suppose I want to give them something and I do worry that otherwise we could end up with five years going by and nothing really changing, at least with the ISAs once it’s in there it can’t come out, not until they are adults anyway. I do have a plan but I did end up having to spend more than I’d budgeted for this month and plus my pay is slightly down, so this is where we are.

The impression I got was finances were separate, hence maybe he could afford to take them and pay for the fuel (or maybe you don't want to tell him you can't fill up the car and by saying this he would do it).
If you were sat at home then you would save the £70 on the trip. If he took the kids then that would be less food cost for you personally.

I'm not sure why people are piling on here OP. Of course it will be OK, there are many, many of us who have done this in the past because we've had no choice. In my day there was less access to online/credit etc. and I had no other option. You will make sure you pay it back into your children's account, and as they're very young they're hardly going to know.

It's really difficult when you have a young family and Christmas comes around, and you're juggling everything including trying to buy things. You have my sympathy, good luck.

If you'd have to use your children's Christmas present money to afford the petrol to travel to your in-laws' house, then you can't afford to travel to your in-laws' house. I'd contact them asap and explain the situation - that financial circumstances mean you can't afford the petrol so can't come, but can do a video call instead. People will be disappointed, but realistically it's not feasible in the circumstances. You need to cover essentials as the priority and this trip probably isn't essential in the same way as food, childcare, getting to work, etc.

It might be an idea to sort out your finance in January. Sort out a savings pot for Xmas presents and a separate savings pot for January emergencies fund

that way you won’t run into this issue recurringly
£10 a month in the emergency fund for January and £50 for Xmas presents should spread the load

I think that is perfectly reasonable. You'll pay it to them and it isn't for long. We have to do what we have to do; I can remember doing the same in the 1980s. I felt awful but it was necessary to get some money from somewhere and I paid it back.

Think no more about it, you're doing your best.

The replies here are mad.
You're putting the money in their accounts in Jan, just use it now. Using a credit card is an unnecessary complication when you have access to the money now - it's a clever solution!
Honestly, ignore everyone interrogating you about your finances, you've come up with a way to manage and it works. Don't give it another thought and enjoy the rest of your Christmas break

In that case, use the children's money, feel guilty and use that as an incentive to stay within the 100 pounds. And hopefully, you can stash away a pound here and there for next Dec/Jan.

Getting a CC and adding extra interest is more damaging to your family.

You are still not addressing the issue. You clearly have no savings and can’t even afford to feed your kids, but you invited folks for Xmas, when you couldn’t afford it, and are now going on a trip nye that you also can’t afford, and want to spend your kids Xmas present money to do this. I’m fairly positive you’d not wish to tell your in-laws who gifted it that’s what you wish to do, and you have a husband, but it seems like you can’t ask him, or he’s equally in trouble, and you obviously have debt, so have lived beyond your means before and are now eyeing up the kids Xmas money.

i would cancel nye. Before I took my kids money, make an excuse. And borrow from them the bare minimum to get through to pay day.

I would use the credit card and make a conscious effort to get rid of your debts this year. I would prioritise this before paying the monthly savings monies into your children’s accounts. It’s a slippery slope borrowing from your children.

You should be building up your own six minth savings fund ahead of saving for DC. It's really poor financial planning not to have done this.

You can't afford to feed your family yet your locking away money for when they are 18? Madness! You need to prioritise day to day expenses and then accessible savings.

Absolutely fine so long as you do pay it straight to their accounts immediately you get paid.

Next year you need to budget for January when you do your Christmas shopping, rather than rely on their gifts as a stopgap. January bills shouldn’t be a surprise, they happens every year.

I don’t really understand the bit where you say it would have to go into your account first anyway. Have the in laws giving cash? If so, surely you’d just use cash to pay for petrol and food? Assuming you’re borrowing it.

If you do use it, you’ll never forget it so maybe better just using a credit card.

Over twenty years ago, I ‘borrowed’ nearly £500 from dc account as we had a hole in the roof that needed fixing urgently. To this day, I still feel guilty that I never paid it back. Despite over the years, having paid for a car and £10,000 house deposit for them.

This

The replies on this thread are ridiculous.

darkmorning your DC are pre-schoolers are won't be able to access the money for ages.

I don't see any issue at all in you spending the money on keeping the family afloat this month, especially after the extra expenses of Christmas, then putting it back at the first opportunity. Certainly much better than a credit card.

MN is full of both people who like to have a go, and many who have never been skint. Please don't let them manipulate you into doing something you don't want to do (e.g. get a credit card) on the basis of triggering your feelings of guilt.

Back in the real world, many people will be doing this or similar. Just do it, make sure you pay it back and don't beat yourself up over it.

I hope you have a fantastic 2025.

Sounds like you've got a good handle on repaying your debts then if you've looked into 0% cards and you have a plan.

If you're not throwing everything at the highest interest rate debt at the moment, that's the biggest change to make.

And look at the small changes you can make, like food shopping, insurance policies, utility providers. Small changes can all add up to more money to pay towards the debt.

@Shrinkingrose - I didn’t actually invite anybody. Not that I minded them coming but it wasn’t my personal doing.

The trip you mention we ‘can’t afford’ - yes, we need fuel, but then the children also will be fed and entertained for a day so it balances out.

@MikeRafone - I am trying, trust me!

Thanks for that kind reply @christmaslatte . You too.

Thanks @Globules . I have made a plan but it’s been somewhat thwarted by more expenses than I’d budgeted for and less money going into my account.

I don’t quite understand what you don’t understand @Anewuser but yes they gave cash.

You need to stop doing this. You can’t afford it. This is part of living beyond your means. Savings for kids is a bonus that people have AFTER being comfortably able to pay all their day to day expenses AND building up sufficient savings for the parents. Save up at least 2 months’ salaries for you and DH before adding anything else for the kids.

Seriously that’s more than both kids combined have in their savings accounts anyway, I’d never be able to do that. We do have assets, but no cash savings if you like.