I thought you can just write anyone out of the will for no reason ???!

[Writtenout]

I was under the impression you can do whatever you want and not have to qualify it in any way at all?? Even if it’s your child ?

I have one brother and I had always assumed that DM and DF would split things equally between us. It turns out (I have found out by accident after one text was sent to me by mistake and a family member spoke to me as well) that they want to now leave all to DB. The thing is they are under the impression they have to prove completely that I’m not in any way dependent on them and that the relationship between us has totally broken down. I knew obviously they had suddenly blocked me on everything but I think they are wrong thinking this. They can do what they want? I feel like saying to them are you really that stupid ! Surely they’d have taken legal advice ??!

I always got on ok with them till I met dh 2 years ago (they don’t approve of him - he’s not the right class or the right colour apparently). They don’t want family money ‘in the wrong hands’ . In some ways it’s funny seeing them tie themselves up in this unecessary web. I saw DM when shopping one day she practically threw herself in the potatoes to try and avoid me it’s ridiculous.

AIBU to think that even if it’s morally wrong anyone can leave a child out of their will if they are mean and want to
they don’t have to justify it ?

You can do what you like but people can challenge it.

I think it depends what jurisdiction you're in? In some places you can't disinherit your children. In England I think you would be correct though.

It helps to justify it for your brother's sake, in case you contest the will.

Yes we are in England

In England, if you were dependant on them, then you could contest the will. Otherwise then you're right and they don't have to prove you've fallen out.

Anyone can attempt to contest a will but realistically they won't get anywhere unless they can prove dependency in most cases.

The thing is they are under the impression they have to prove completely that I’m not in any way dependent on them and that the relationship between us has totally broken down.

In England & Wales this is broadly correct if they want to block any possibility of you contesting the will.

In England you can leave your money to whoever you wish, including charities etc. You sound like you think you should be automatically entitled.

It depends on where you live.
you can do it in England but its advised that its a good idea to state clearly that you don't want person A to inherit so it looks like a conscious decision.

Yes the text sent by mistake to me was on my birthday from DF saying ‘no don’t worry we didn’t send her a birthday card as that won’t show an estranged relationship’

hopefully your brother is decent and will give you half via an amendment of the will

after he has spent 5 years changing their soiled pads etc

So maybe they do have a reason then ? I thought in England you can disinherit anyone for no reason at all and with no explanation

I wouldn't worry, not everyone has an inheritance.
You can contest but I don't think it'd free to do so
I'm the opposite I returned my inheritance from Grandparents due to not wanting to be tied to that side of the family.

I am not a lawyer, but yes, that's what I would have said. However, they are anticipating that you might challenge the will so they are putting together evidence to make it crystal clear that you were not dependent on them in any way and you were estranged. I'm sorry that you are having to go through this.

Would you contest?
If not, I would send a short, to the point message saying it's ok, you have no interest in taking money off racist snobs, and then ignore/block them forever more. Take the power back.

I feel for you as someone close to me been disinherited by his father with a lot of toxic crap from the sibling getting everything. Not England but they have put a lot of effort into making sure he can't contest. The toxicity round this is huge but he has decided, in his head, to accept situation as the alternative is to let it destroy him. Potential money is not making his sibling happy but sibling absolutely obsessed. Unseemly...

This is broadly speaking correct, in English and Welsh Law. A solicitor may advise them to include a letter of wishes in addition, to clearly set out the reasons for their decision, to add weight if it was ultimately contested.

I would imagine any letter of wishes would not outline their racism.

Any decent solicitor would always ask why children, even adult children, have not been provided for in a parent’s Will.

Although your parents can leave their estate to whoever they wish, anybody with a financial dependency can bring a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975. The solicitor would usually suggest that the parent leaves a letter to accompany their Will explaining why the child is excluded. The letter is not legally binding but would be strong evidence in the event of a claim.

Nothing that you’ve described is unusual.

No i wouldn’t contest and I have thought about saying ‘look I know what you’re doing and you’re wasting your time as I couldnt care less’ but then I feel like the anxiety it’s clearly causing them is well deserved so perhaps I should just keep quiet and send a sympathy card to DB when they die by special delivery to give him a moment of worry that it’s legal papers !

You need to make it clear that you will not be financially responsible for them either.
Not care home or funeral fees.
If they are "estranged" from you.
Look into that @Writtenout

Prepared to be corrected, but as far as I know in the UK there is no obligation whatsoever for children to pay for their parents' care. Moral pressure maybe, but no legal requirement.

If you are UK based youre basically correct but it's not quite that simple. If you were able to show a dependency on your parents - say they had paid you regular allowance up to the time of their deaths - then you could challenge any will that cut you out.

In some EU countries though you cannot fully disinherit your children.

Can that happen ?? I had no idea that family can be liable for care home fees ? I thought it was from the individuals savings and assets?

I think the usual thing to do in England is either leave the 'disinhereted' person great aunt Mabel's doilies - so they can't say they were inadvertently forgotten, or to write a letter that goes along with the Will explaining the person has been intentionally excluded (and maybe why?) so that it can be used to defend any challenge to the Will by showing it was fully intended to disinherit them.

No need for any of this as it's your estate that is liable not your children.

In some ways it's very nuanced in England. You can't have a reason of not liking the colour of skin of the person as a reason for disinheritance. But you can disinherit someone for no reason at all.

It's really hard to make a claim on an estate, there are a few different circumstances under which you can. The main one for child/parent is the inheritance act but to have a strong claim you need to show dependency on their money. It's easier for minors and adults with disabilities to put a claim in but it's not cheap.

Let them all work themselves up in knots and be glad you're well rid of the lot.