I thought you can just write anyone out of the will for no reason ???!

[Writtenout]

I was under the impression you can do whatever you want and not have to qualify it in any way at all?? Even if it’s your child ?

I have one brother and I had always assumed that DM and DF would split things equally between us. It turns out (I have found out by accident after one text was sent to me by mistake and a family member spoke to me as well) that they want to now leave all to DB. The thing is they are under the impression they have to prove completely that I’m not in any way dependent on them and that the relationship between us has totally broken down. I knew obviously they had suddenly blocked me on everything but I think they are wrong thinking this. They can do what they want? I feel like saying to them are you really that stupid ! Surely they’d have taken legal advice ??!

I always got on ok with them till I met dh 2 years ago (they don’t approve of him - he’s not the right class or the right colour apparently). They don’t want family money ‘in the wrong hands’ . In some ways it’s funny seeing them tie themselves up in this unecessary web. I saw DM when shopping one day she practically threw herself in the potatoes to try and avoid me it’s ridiculous.

AIBU to think that even if it’s morally wrong anyone can leave a child out of their will if they are mean and want to
they don’t have to justify it ?

No, it can't. You're right, it's up to them to pay for it and then if they run out of money the government pays.

Given it sounds like they're doing this because they're racist, I think I'd have to fuck with them and send them a letter by recorded delivery / put on Facebook etc that you loved seeing them the other night / thanking them for helping you decorate/ you had an amazing time on holiday with them (with a really bad photoshop of you with them in a tourist attraction)

Rest easy. Family members not responsible for care home fees. It comes out of the person's assets, or if there are none, the state pays. Things are more complicated if there is someone living in the property, but that doesn't apply to you.

Nobody can force you to pay for anything at all.

I was told to get advise about elder care because I don't speak to my father, or a sibling. I was told if I died now my money would go to siblings not my partner as we aren't married and they I could be financially responsible for the future care my father could need. This was at the time I refused to take money from grandparents
Apologies if that's not the case

I’m not sure you can be held liable - certainly not care home fee’s - unless you’ve previously agreed in writing.

You need to make a will if you want to leave your money to your partner, not your siblings. If you have children, it would go to them if you didn't have a will, but otherwise, spouse, then blood relatives.

As far as I know (& I've disinherited a DD because she wants no contact) I've been advised to write a letter in my own hand explaining why I have excluded. She's made it plain & she's done so much damage I don't think things are likely to change. The way things stand I doubt she'll even know if we pass away.

From what I can gather if you disinherit someone they can challenge the will & what normally happens is that they can delay probate this way & cause the assets to cost the will recipients more money so they sometimes just give in as it can drag on.

My advice would be to have no contact with your parents they sound awful & if I could I would definitely have told my DD & explained why, but as she has no contact I can't. Sorry that you're experiencing this

I'm sorry OP that your parents are so horrid and racist that they would cut you out of their will. Would your brother go along with that or would he give you your share after they die? (assuming you would even want it)

I do think its fucked up that the law in England and Wales allows parents to disinherit children without extreme cause, like criminal behaviour.

No it can’t, don’t worry

Yes indeed. They will have been advised that you can contest it if you are dependent on them in some way. They will also probably be advised to leave a letter of wishes that explains their thinking.

If your suspicions as to why are correct then you are probably better of without them.

(Incidentally, your brother can vary the will post their death if he wishes to do so. It's called a variation of deed. One of my family members did it to cover a sibling who was left nothing for similar reasons).

I think it is advisable to state clearly in a will that there is no bequest to someone, probably a family member.

When my mum died my two brothers and I met the solicitor and her will turned out to specifically exclude one brother. This was because he was mega-rich, on the Sunday Times rich list, so he had told Mum he should not receive a bequest.

My other brother and I were very appreciative of his generosity.

However when we got to the bit where actual sums of money were stated, we were all startled at how much mum had in the bank.

It turned out that for quite a few years, rich brother had regularly paid her a large amount of money every month. Mum being thrifty had not spent it on inessentials hence a very considerable sum had accumulated.

When it emerged that I and other brother would get this large chunk of money, rich brother looked rather startled and not exactly delighted, but to do him justice he never tried to interfere with the will, and when he died he was very generous to me and other brother and their children.

No idea about the legalities, but I just want to say how sorry I am that you have been so unlucky with the parents you were born to. I hope you at least have extended family who are decent people.

This happened in our family. My mother cut out her two sons. This was obviously raised previously with the solicitor as there was a note attached to her will saying that she had specifically cut out her children.

The OP has been very clear that she doesn’t feel entitled to a inheritence. They are bemused that their parents are tying themselves in knots to make sure they don’t.

My SIL parents will(England) was divided into 5 shares and split between the two siblings and 3 GC. The son was estranged from the parents and was lucky to get a share - he still contested the will as he thought the will was going to be split half and half between himself and his sister. A year down the road and various legal costs the willl remains as 5 shares.

If you died intestate, without a will specifying who your estate should be passed to, then yes, it would go to your parents if alive, and then siblings. The recommendation is to have a will stating your wishes, especially if you’re not married to your partner.

Thank you to the people who replied to my error. I was unaware ( apologies to @Writtenout by adding to to your concerns and the slight derailment) I was going by what was suggested to me .

I love this! Photoshop them with your pets and ai pictures of mixed race babies too. Waving placards with you on an anti racism march. Post them on social media, so everyone can "see" you are together. Obvious very easy to disprove bad photoshop, but they can tie them in knots about it.

Disclaimer that I would never actually do this, and I doubt you will either, but fun to dream.

Yes from all accounts it’s being taken very seriously and I could put them out of their misery as I don’t care anyway but the thought of the effort and planning going into it unnecessarily is entertaining!

It’s not even like they are wealthy either it’s just pure nastiness making the 3 of them want to ‘protect family money’

I’ve spoken a solicitor about this for a relative. They recommended mentioning the child who would not be inheriting- in effect explaining why (breakdown in relationship etc) in order to stop them contesting it but since you don’t seem to be interested in doing that I think it’s all pretty straightforward.

I believe you can but they can contest it.

If you're in England then yes your parents can leave you nothing. Other countries have different laws on this.

If you can demonstrate that you're financially dependent on them when they die, you could challenge the will under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependents) Act 1977.

Yes, I get the impression that OP would just like to be at the point where if she runs into her mother while shopping, they can say hello, rather than mum hiding in the potatoes.

OP. That is just so awful.
Let them crack on. Might be worth blocking them so you can't get anything by accident.
Hope you have supportive people around you. Sounds like you don't need these kind of people in your life.