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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a sleepover shouldn't include 44yr old dad who stays up till 3am and is v loud?

85 replies

AdhdNewMama · 25/12/2024 09:37

So my sisters have previously ended up having a massive sleepover with their kids at my mum's house and this includes 'kids' who are in their late 20s to ones as young as 10 and I was not invited to the last one in summer. At the time I was on maternity leave and had a 8month old so I could have popped in for a bit, perhaps not to sleep but I could have been included..but I wasn't.
When I heard they were doing another over Xmas hols I made it clear that my 1yr old would like to be included and they all made comments about how they look forward to seeing him over hols. I imagined waking up in the morning and him having lots of cousins and aunts to play with but now I'm sitting on a single bed, in my old room with him playing next to me as my sister said the older kids will want to catch up on sleep.

This sleepover was not how I imagined, my older brother (44) came over and was practically shouting and laughing at the top of his voice at 2.30am, he ended up taking the largest room with king size bed with his son though via text he said he'd sleep in living room and he gave me the smallest room with a single for me and my toddler. His ten year old son ended up joining the other kids downstairs so he got a whole king size bed to himself.

Clearly I'm not a night owl but surely going to sleep at 3am is very late for a sleepover? They could have been a bit more considerate and not howled so loudly through the night? And do 44yr old dads usually want to join in with sleepovers?
I would have expected a bit more consideration.

And my mum actually told me not to go in living room - despite them he being awake - because she didn't want them disturbed.

OP posts:
pinkdelight · 26/12/2024 00:07

Every single 'kid' at the sleepover would have spent a night in the house when they were much younger than 8 months old. It was always a way for family to spend more time getting to know the new additions to the family.

But they've been through that stage and are beyond it now. The age gap that means you're still with a 1yo means unfortunately for you they've moved on and don't want to revert to early starts etc, and there's no credit in the bank just because you put up with their kids when you were a teen. They're out of energy for that phase while you're in the midst of it. No one's fault, just incompatible timings.

poormenagain · 26/12/2024 00:15

It’s too big an age range for a sleepover. It would make more sense to have the cousins play with and pay attention to the baby for a little bit then leave them to get on with the sleepover. It’s reasonable for you to have asked them to keep the noise level down while the baby was sleeping, though.

eastcoasterly · 26/12/2024 00:19

I was ready to type out a gentle and empathetic response to you as I know how isolating and tough those early years were as a mum, then you threw in a Karen insult. Thank you so much for entirely misusing my birth name. I do not appreciate that one bit, especially when I'm sat here full of empathy and feeling sorry for you. Just what I needed to read after what has been one of the hardest days of my life, came on here to see if helping someone else may mean some good came of the day. Speaks volumes that you find someone's name acceptable as an insult of character. Kindly OP, learn to speak with more kindness and forethought yourself.

Saschka · 26/12/2024 00:22

Why come on AIBU if your response is to go “wah wah wah, you’re all a bunch of Karens!!1!1!”?

Perhaps you need a bit more sleep yourself OP? You are behaving like a one year old chucking your toys out of the pram.

Turophilic · 26/12/2024 00:30

I agree - not only are your expectations out of step with their life stages because of the age gap, you’ve been very rude to call a poster “Karen” as a slur.

MN is one of the few places on the internet where that sort of misogyny is challenged.

lionloaf · 26/12/2024 00:56

Sorry but I see why they didn’t want to invite you

Anothernamechane · 26/12/2024 07:58

Imagine coming to a website filled with mainly women to ask their opinion, then using a slur only used against women who have an opinion when you don't like the result

JMSA · 26/12/2024 08:18

When I heard they were doing another over Xmas hols I made it clear that my 1yr old would like to be included

I can't imagine your 1 year old would care particularly. You didn't want to feel left out so insisted on joining in. Fair enough. But you can't get pissy when it didn't go as planned in your head.
Sorry, but YABU.

TrueFashion · 26/12/2024 11:37

OP you are not coming across well here. Esp with misogynistic insults. I really hope you are getting it out of your system here, and not inflicting your dark mood on everybody else over Christmas. Some people sabotage their own happiness; don’t be one of them. You will end up the loser in life that way.

IridiumSky · 14/02/2025 22:37

Ridiculous!

Sleepovers have nothing to do with sleeping. 😀

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