AIBU to have my little Christmas strop here rather than in real life and to ask you to share yours too?

[HornungTheHelpful]

So, it’s been a crap stressful year. Marriage has been strained by outside factors. H worked away for most of December. Things finally improving and was mildly looking forward to today. Anyway, he is ill. Properly, not leaving bedroom unwell. Not overreacting - he’s in a bad way. So I’m here by myself with three smallish children (7 and under) limited food options as we are supposed to be at my mum’s this afternoon through Boxing Day. He’s done none of the Christmas morning work so I’ve done it all (and not saying he should just upset I’m on my own spinning all the plates again). He hasn’t opened any of the presents I got him (again not saying he should have - just upset by circumstances) and he’s now asleep and I don’t know what we’re supposed to be doing.

I just don’t want to be on my own anymore. And here I am at Christmas by myself again.

Ah it sounds like he's really poorly but I get how fed up you must feel. Try to enjoy the children and make a plan without him today. Wishing you all the best and I hope you feel a bit better later x

Ah that's rubbish OP. There's so much going round at the moment. Take it easy today. Christmas film on the telly for the kids, takeaway for dinner. It's just a day. Don't put too much pressure on it.

Toddler was playing up last night and I was left to it to settle him, while thinking of the 1774763 things to do before bed to make it special for everyone.

Ended up going in and out between taking my contact lenses out- I was falling down tired and eyes killing me.

Toddlers ends up being sick over his Christmas pjs and DP accuses me of ruining Christmas and to get out. Lovely job.

Can you leave him some food and drink for easy access and take the kids to your family as planned?

Go to your mums as planned, he can rest and you get company.

Can you just take it easier? No need to prep big, just some small snacks, watch telly with kids etc. You all deserve a break.
Hope your DH gets better soon and you can relax.

Oh no!

Have an alternative Christmas once he is better?

Can you go to your Mum’s and leave him to rest?

That sucks OP, I'm sorry. But all the "Christmas must look like XYZ or it's ruined " is just movie nonsense. Do what you can with the kids to have fun, play games, eat whatever mad food combinations you can scrape up, watch silly movies etc. You're still with the people you love, even if one is poorly, so not all is lost. Just have made up random day, try and keep an cheerful face on, it will all be OK!

I’m so sorry, that sounds rough. I think if it were me, I’d make sure dh had painkillers/ drinks etc to hand and go to my mums.

Can you go to your mum's and let him rest?

that's a shame op
you can make it good though, if different

Go to mum’s for lunch?

Oh no, this is the worst timing. I bet he just wants to sleep. Can you ring your mum to make a plan for the day? I would sort him a tray with easy snacks and cold drinks, paracetamol or whatever you have and take that up to him. Get the kids ready and go to your mum's so they can open presents with an audience. If DH is up for it he can join in on a videocall or sleep if he needs to.
Hope your day improves, be gentle with yourself.

This would be the best option. He’d get rest to recover, you and the kids still get Christmas.

This was my Christmas last year. Plans cancelled, on own while DP was ill.

It was a bit flat but it passed. Sympathies OP

Eat the selection boxes for breakfast, then go to your mother's as planned and enjoy Christmas. Your husband can sleep it off in peace, and hopefully will feel better by the time you get back tomorrow.

Yes - adding to those asking if you could still go to your mum’s

what i find is if my dh is ill, it highlights the inequalities that are already there. So in OP’s case you had already done the Christmas morning prep all on your own. So although dh is genuinely unwell, you’d be forgiven for perhaps having some resentment that you’d already done so much. And now he can’t do anything!

This is what I'd do. If he is that ill, he will be asleep most of the day anyway. No need for you to suffer in silence.

Thank you for the extremely kind and gentle head wobbles and understanding. I am going to pull myself together and just have fun with the kids (when they stop fighting 🤣)

Why aren't you going to your mum?

Why cant you still go to your mums?

You can make Xmas special by just playing with your children. Go to your mums without him amd celebrate with him another day

My concern about going is because my sister is pregnant and we may be incubating whatever H has. They’ve said come so we may go but I don’t want to infect her and I’d feel bad leaving H, even if he doesn’t really want us here (in the nicest possible way)

I think go. Bugs go round at Christmas. He would like some quiet and will recover quicker. You will enjoy yourself and will have more hands with the kids.