AIBU to have my little Christmas strop here rather than in real life and to ask you to share yours too?

[HornungTheHelpful]

So, it’s been a crap stressful year. Marriage has been strained by outside factors. H worked away for most of December. Things finally improving and was mildly looking forward to today. Anyway, he is ill. Properly, not leaving bedroom unwell. Not overreacting - he’s in a bad way. So I’m here by myself with three smallish children (7 and under) limited food options as we are supposed to be at my mum’s this afternoon through Boxing Day. He’s done none of the Christmas morning work so I’ve done it all (and not saying he should just upset I’m on my own spinning all the plates again). He hasn’t opened any of the presents I got him (again not saying he should have - just upset by circumstances) and he’s now asleep and I don’t know what we’re supposed to be doing.

I just don’t want to be on my own anymore. And here I am at Christmas by myself again.

Definitely go to your mums, otherwise the kids will miss out.

Staying at an inlaws, all very nice. Shared bed with 7 yr old, leaving 14 and 12 year old sharing one room, and DH in another. Blithely thinking that 7 yr old would probably sleep until 6ish, and I could save the others waking early.

He woke at 1145, then 3, then for the day at 445. 4hrs 32 mins sleep. Got up at 515. He was very good, and happy, came downstairs quietly for coffee, film etc while opening his stocking. Take some cold and flu tabs as feel sinusy. Put turkey on.

Big kids come down around 0630 and open theirs. DD goes back to bed after as full of cold.

DH comes down at 0730, after a full night's sleep, with a bit of a hangover and a cold.

Everyone else appears a few mins after, all commenting how tired he looks, would he like a paracetamol etc etc. 12 year old suggests he goes back to bed cause he looks tired etc.

All the while I'm sat there rolling my eyes after 4.5 hrs sleep, having done everything 😂

Anyway. He's a great husband and dad, and is currently in the kitchen doing stuff so all is fine, but it did rankle at the time.

Sorry your morning hasn't been great OP.

Why do people put turkey's on so early? I don't get it. My mum used to be up at seven doing the turkey. I'm 55 so cooked plenty of Turkey and wouldnt be thinking about putting it in for a couple of hour's yet. We are aiming to eat at three as I had complaints that eating at 6 doesn't leave enough time for a buffet later. Happy to oblige but really putting a turkey on at 7 seems madness

Go to your mums so long as you’re all well. Leave dh to sleep in quiet and bring him back a doggy bag. I’d much prefer a quiet house if I was ill.

Good morning and a very Merry Christmas to you all! OP, make the best of t today with the children and let your OH sleep. It is only one day and to be honest, will the kiddies miss the big family dinner with all the trimmings?.......probably not.

Now on to my strop...............OH niece has a birthday just before Christmas and traditionally, we send money. Her dad messaged on birthday morning to say XXX birthday money hasn't arrived, which account did you use? I was fucking livid and was actually on the point of sending it the evening before when our neighbour had collapsed on the drive and we had to immediately go and help - try doing CPR in the dark when it is pissing with rain! Online banking was the last thing on my mind.

Anyway, I completed the transfer and waited for an acknowledgment...........I waited and waited and waited...............still nothing. So I messaged and asked if the money had transferred and the dad just said yes........not thank you! That's the last time! Still not received a thank you from the niece either.

Go to your mums, leave him water beside the bed x

Go to your mums and leave him, all these people in such a bad way yet they don’t need proper medical treatment, sure he can get himself a glass of water and lie in bed with the iPad on as most men do when they ‘properly ill’ . If he’s that arsed he will shape himself and get up

This. D sick H won't miss you and you will all enjoy the family interaction, particularly you.

christmas can be different, it is ok

Awww l'm really sorry for you. There's nothing worse than being in a relationship and still being lonely. You put up with the crap so as not to feel that way. It's rubbish to have the crap and still feel that way.

I was in a relationship like that. Emphasis on was.

@Doggymummar Merry Christmas. As a turkey avoider, even I know that you have to cook by weight and then rest for quite a while afterwards.
If you are having lunch at 13:00 or thereabouts, 07:00 does not seem unreasonable to start cooking the turkey.
I hope OP manages to get to her mother's as planned.

Agree with this! Hope things improve x

Again, ladies, stop putting up with abusive behaviour and man babies!

Depends. It might be a massive bird.

I'm not having a great Christmas either. DP having a bad mental health crisis so he's too erratic to be here so he's at his parents who won't have me in the house in case it sets him off. My Dd spent last night with her dad and he was meant to bring her back at 1 to spend the rest of today with me but she's having such fun with her half sister I just said keep her there a bit longer as she's enjoying herself.
So I'm just here on my own looking a mess and not had a single present yet. My DP gave all my presents away to someone who deserved them more than me. A random stranger in the park.
My dogs are cuddling me, they love their new toys.
I'm going to have a nice bath, sort my bed hair out, put some makeup on and see how I feel after. Once dd home then will do her presents and eat chocolate.
Whatever your day brings I hope everyone gets some pleasure out of it.
So it feels odd to say happy Christmas or merry Christmas when some of us are not feeling that so I guess seasons greetings to you all x

Well you know what to do next year...!

Aww love 💐

I'd go and just keep your distance from your sister your dh can rest properly and the kids will have fun xx

Go with the children and enjoy yourself.

millions of adults are unwell and cope alone.

Oh well yes, just send a card next year. And maybe a £5 book token

100% go. There are winter bugs everywhere so your sister is exposed everywhere. If you feel strongly just keep your distance from her. I’m sure they’d be thrilled to see you and the kids. Leave DH fluids and food and a phone

I second this post try and have a last minute think of what needs to be done or can be cancelled and done another day make Christmas whatever you need it to be today

I was in the same situation a few years back. DH got food poisoning after eating some dodgy leftovers. I was so annoyed because I'd told him to bin them! He was up from midnight on Christmas eve

We only have one bathroom, so that wasn't pleasant 🤢 I was heavily pregnant and had an over stimulated two year old as well.

I left him with some water and took myself off to my parents as planned. I was extra extra careful with hand washing encase it was a bug.

We had a great day and since he slept most of the day it would have been pointless to stay with him feeling miserable too out of solidarity

This is bloody awful. Is your DP usually a total bastard?

It’s to clear space in the oven for all the roast veg.