To think it’s weird that we try and keep the ‘magic’ alive for teen and adult children.

[Trimbleton]

I mean they know Santa isn’t real so why do I feel the pressure to still do ‘Santa’ and mince pies for Santa etc. The pressure to have a ‘magical’ Christmas is fine when they are younger but why when DC grow up are we still expected to keep it alive ?

To me it's not 'magic',it's 'fun', and 'the spirit of Christmas'.

If they know Santa isn't real then I think leaving a mince pie for Santa is weird! Make new traditions 🙂

I mean I always feel pressure to try and make people I love happy.. isn't that pretty normal? And it's not just for them is it? By doing it you keep the magic alive for yourself too.. the specialness of christmas

We're not, are we?

Presents yes but not pretending Santa is real, mince pies and so forth. If you're still doing that past the age of 14 it's possibly more for your own benefit

We do this as well! I just finished the mince pie and baileys and mine are 15 and 17 but they love it so why not? I also still move the bloody elf every night and he brings them a special Xmas eve breakfast as well.

I ll still do it when they are 30 and 32 if it makes them happy.

This is DD’s first year of ‘admitting’ she doesn’t believe but she still wanted to put the mince pie and the stocking out. I gave her the Xmas eve stuff but we didn’t do the elf leaving it in the porch thing but instead she surprised me! With matching mugs with hot chocolate and cream etc and some treats. She’s bought it all herself with her own money. I think it’s nice to develop new traditions and sorry I may have digressed from your point but I think everyone likes to try to believe in some magic!

Look at the world around you. So much happening that's sad and worrying.

What does it matter if for one day the family can get together and have fun, playing and remembering innocent, childhood times?

DSS is about to be 16. I still absolutely love doing him a stocking because I get to buy him silly shit and we’re all in on it. Will very happily still do this when he’s 26 because it’s just nice.

Because it’s a bit of fun and laugh, and when we’re on our deathbeds these are the moments we’ll look back on and smile about.

It's fun! I think a lot of 'keeping the magic alive' things are actually nice treats people can enjoy at any age.

We leave out a brownie from my favourite bakery and a can of lemonade for Santa, and I hope we continue once DS no longer believes. It's nice to have a yummy treat whilst doing last minute Christmas Eve chores, and I imagine those will continue even when DS is a teen 😂

Waking up to a stocking full of treats, again, is lovely. Even if you don't 'believe', it's more fun for them suddenly to be there - as you won't have a clue or the opportunity to guess what'll be there. Same goes for gifts under the tree.

I am fine with this, I love a card or board game. It’s the ‘magic ‘ for DC who don’t believe in Santa that I don’t get Like

• elf on the shelf
• stockings left out so I have to wait up
• expectation of Santa levels of gifts
• Xmas eve movie being the same one for years…….

I really don’t think anyone is doing elf on the shelf for their adult children….

Well look at all the rest of the responses - people are doing to keep the ‘magic’ alive (what magic ????) and there builds an expectation that all parents will do the same for their DC. I find it all quite mad and wonder if it’s more about the constant infantilisation of our DC - we don’t want them to grow up

Just following on from your update... I think it's tradition. We don't watch the same movie year on year for Christmas Eve, but I watch Polar Express solo (it creeps DS out 😂) on the night I get all the wrapping done. I don't care it's a kids film, or that I watch it every year. It genuinely makes me happy and let's me feel warm fuzzies as I wrap gifts for people I love - high up on my favourite Christmas things I do!

DS2 openly doesn't believe this year and teenage DS1 really couldn't care less.

DS2 did want to put the mince pies out. He decided to peel and eat the carrot himself. The mince pie mysteriously disappeared in the 15s that it took to go to the loo. I did point out that I couldn't have eaten a mince pie in 15s!
(I was very careful not to crush it into the sofa with my buttock before he finally went to bed at midnight 😂)

This will sound insane but I'm 34 and my dad still insists gifts are from "Santa", and presents them to me in my childhood stocking and sack. He answers the door saying "Has he beeeeen?" which he used to do when we walked downstairs on Christmas morning when I lived at home.

I've asked him to stop as it actually depresses me (having the same things from childhood without the actual feeling of magic makes me upset) but he still does it. I need new traditions, as this makes me dread Christmas!

I'd much rather have an adult Christmas where we exchange gifts openly while having a glass of wine.

I do the same with love actually - watch whilst wrapping gifts. That kind of thing I have no issue with. I love Christmas and I’m not the grinch - I just hate the weird ‘magic’ stuff past the age of 13

As long as it's fun for all and not stressful then I see no problem.
People making martyrs of themselves to get very little appreciation totally baffles me.

I think your scenario is where this all ends up - adult children hating the charade

Yes i agree. I can't understand people trying to force older children to believe in Santa too. I think i stopped believing at a young age, never bothered me, and don't think my parents tried to force it on me once the so called "magic" had gone.

Don't know, why do you do it? I do stockings but not leaving mince pies etc

Mine are 23-15 and would be disappointed if we did away with stockings, mince pies etc. I ask each year if they want to continue, and it’s unanimous.

No infantilisation whatsoever. We have great fun, we laugh and it’s a lovely start to an otherwise grown up, joyous day. .

Mine are 22 and 20 and this is the first year they've helped stuff the stockings and bring all the presents down! It's wonderful 😊

Yeah I get you. I'm a bit shocked to see the responses tbh as it never even crossed my mind to do this for teenager that is more cynical than I am. So I'm here to say you can skip it and you won't be alone.

What do you care?
my dc still want to put out a carrot and mince pie. They’re 13-16. They seemed excited to do it - it’s just routine for Christmas Eve bedtime. If they want to do it then they can.

We never did elf on the shelf - I know my parenting limitations. Our tooth fairy was regularly forgetful 😂🙈

I did think last year Christmas would feel less “magical” but it was actually really special. It’s different but still so lovely. I’ve no reason to stop all of that.