To think it’s weird that we try and keep the ‘magic’ alive for teen and adult children.

[Trimbleton]

I mean they know Santa isn’t real so why do I feel the pressure to still do ‘Santa’ and mince pies for Santa etc. The pressure to have a ‘magical’ Christmas is fine when they are younger but why when DC grow up are we still expected to keep it alive ?

We did the stockings when I was a teenager but there was no pretence Santa filled them 😂

My adult dc are now creeping around the house adding things to each other's stockings while no-one is looking. Dh and I know that things will appear in our stockings, too.

We left all tomorrow's veg for roasting on the kitchen counter when we went up to bed. When we come down tomorrow morning, all the veg will be peeled and sitting in bowls of water, ready for roasting. The kitchen will be as clean as we left it.

That's the magic: when your adult dc join in the spirit, and want to make the day as magical for us as we made it for them.

I agree. I have adult kids and they are here for Christmas - we've just put the flour footsteps by the fireplace, taken a bite out of Rudolph's carrot and had a glug of Santa's milk! It's a fun, sweet tradition.

My 22yo appeared at my bedroom door last night, asking in a very furtive voice whether he could add a little something to his dad's stocking! It's so lovely seeing them become adults and joining in with everything we've been doing for them since they were tiny. I know it's very de rigeur to sneer at "the magic" on MN this year, but it doesn't resonate with me at all.

I think it's a bit of fun at a cold dark time of year.

Maybe you could rethink doing it, if you consider it weird but in all honesty I don't think it is particularly weird. Up to you OP!

When DS told me he knew the truth he was sad about it. I asked him if he still wanted to pay the Santa game and he said yes. So that’s what we do for now at least

he does ask me what I think Santa would like to drink 😂

Kicked my dc to bed (15) and mentioned to her as a joke we hadn't left a mince pie. She was actually gutted when she remembered and really wanted one left out for him! I convinced her to leave the lid off the Celebrations instead. Ha.

Half hour later we've tiptoed down to put the presents out for the kids. 15, 22, 24. All still love it. Stockings filled with chocolates on their piles, and lots of smiling faces tomorrow (at a lovely, sensible hour).

However, it's nice to see the gifts under the tree FROM them, too. I miss the young days with the sheer excitement, but something special about these times, too.

I was just talking with youngest (16y) before trying to remember when we stopped putting a mince pie and carrot out. Probably about 4 years ago and even at that point it was purely because of tradition, not belief in Santa.

No tip toeing around filling stockings either, they stay up later than us! I'll be up in the morning doing that while they sleep in.

I enjoy it, and my dc enjoy it, so I don't see the harm. I asked them to tidy something up earlier "so Santa doesn't trip over" and they rolled their eyes but with humour. Having a stocking, leaving out a cookie etc are just the rituals of our family. No one is forced to join in!

I've never felt the need to go out trying to make it "magical" ever. We do the leaving a mince pie thing and it's nice but it's not a big deal. DS stopped believed 3 years at go at 5 but plays along for his sister. She's 7 and still believes so we carry on.

I can't imagine still doing it once she realises. It's bizarre.

OP if you're feeling pressure to do that for adults you can choose not to.

We’re not doing any of that stuff and there aren’t any gifts under the tree from Santa. Youngest is 17. If other people want to do that stuff, that’s fine but they shouldn’t keep doing it if it’s a chore imo

The same Christmas movie is about tradition, not magic. Stockings are about extra little treats to enjoy before the main presents. But if you are doing elf on the stupid shelf or pretending that anything comes from Santa, that’s on you. Just stop.

We do the same thing now as when younger the only change is now it is 'Santa' and not Santa

They like the tradition and can stop at any time

It was never stressful for us then or now as we do what we do in a relaxed way

Who does that? All my friends just want to have their kids home for a nice meal - the magic is being together. My DD (19) is home from uni and we've been watching a Christmas movie each night. My son (21) came home to help buy the tree early December and is here tonight for about 36 hours (only has Christmas and Boxing Day off). We will have a lovely meal play a game or two and watch another film. The main differences is they won't be up at 6am bursting with excitement!

I mean, it's taking a bite from a mince pie and a glug of sherry. It's not exactly a hardship and it's a bit of fun. Think dh would miss it more than dd and I!

When was this phrase "Christmas magic" invented? It wasn't a thing when my DCs were small in the 90s and early 00s.

I don’t know anyone who pretends Santa is real with their teen/adult dc. Stockings full on the night etc is just a nice tradition. Christmas can be magical without literally believing in Father Christmas. Life would be miserable without cultural/family traditions and with everyone not being bothered.

OP if you don't enjoy these things and do t want to do it, then don't. I don't feel pressure from others to do certain things. We do our own thing that works for our family.

No, I don't do any of that nonsense anymore. It's just a nice time to be together, a roast dinner, relaxed time.

Our two oldest (university age) love to prepare for FC' arrival just as much as our primary school daughter.
Why not? It's Christmas.

This.

It's just nice traditions after you stop believing in Santa.

I used to ask my mum what 'Santa' wanted leaving out each year after I stopped believing, I really enjoyed learving her a treat out to say thank you. I'm 100% certain she'd still shout 'he's been' from downstairs if I slept over on Christmas Eve as an adult too.

It's not doing any 'magic' because it was never 'magic' to start with was it?! It's keeping traditions alive, having a bit of fun, do I mind my teenage son putting his stocking out before bed so I have to stay up a bit longer to fill it? Absolutely fucking not because one day, he'll have left and he'll be creating his own traditions and his own 'magic' somewhere else. And then one day I'll be on my death bed, happy as shit that for one night each year I created happiness and joy in my family when the rest of the world is usually a shit show. That's not creating magic, it's creating happiness.

I have 2 teens. They have done a stocking for dh and I. I am genuinely touched. Just waiting for them to get up so we can open it.

My mum told me at 14 that I was too old for a stocking and that ‘Father Christmas couldn’t really be bothered with doing them for people of my age anymore’. Thanks for that mum. Still smarts now, 30 years later.

Keep the magic alive.