In laws buying presents for grandkids to play with at their house exaclusively

[isizweird]

They're 5 and 2 and a half years old.

They don't spend excessive amounts at in laws house but slowly they've started buying this for them to use exclusively there. I believe tomorrow's presents that are apparently from Santa, are all to stay put at grandmas house.

Is this a normal thing ? I am not sure how I feel about it. The occasionally thing, fine, but now everything they buy needs to stay at grandmas house ? Or am I being weird ? Would love opinions.

Grandmas house is full of toys.. btw. Old toys her kids had and also new ones she's bought for my kids.

I’d LOVE this. My house is already filled with shit - they don’t need anything more.

Mine understood perfectly when they were two. It was the norm, they’d never known anything else. Grandma doesn’t need to discuss it with you @isizweird, I bet you wouldn’t want it taken home if it was something huge or noisy.

We had toys and games at our house, but they weren’t Christmas or birthday gifts. They were age appropriate things for them to play with at our house, so they didn’t have to bring them from theirs. I have fond memories of the plastic skittles, sticky dart board, board games and colouring stuff.

She is being U. Santa comes to the child's house.

They have had their time with kids; this is your time.

Put your foot down!

Hmm. I had this and it was annoying at the time, especially as there were toys given that we didn't have at our house but looking back, you know what? It doesn't matter! Let the ils have the toys at their house. Life's too short. Xx

I'm with you Op. the children can play with it for a short time and then have to leave it? Doesn't seem very kind especially if they love it. I'd be saying "nanny and grandad said the presents have to stay here". I wouldn't be having my kids think this is my fault!

I wouldn’t be happy with this, particularly as GPs often ask for ideas which come from my list of things I know the DC would love, and things I would otherwise buy!

If they insisted on keeping it at their then I would simply buy a second one for home.

We buy a few toys for our house and a few duplicates like a scooter, as their parents don’t have a car and can’t bring much with them if we are babysitting - but these are not given as wrapped gifts. I think easy enough to gently explain the difference and that some toys are best not given as gifts if they are going to live at the grandparents.

No big drama ensued in the end. When it was time to leave, grandma and auntie were saying ' they can take this one ' ( something gifted to them by someone else ) and that one is staying here.. this other one they can take home and that one will stay here. I then said, how about you ask the kids which presents they'd like to take home, seeing as they're theirs.

They then asked the kids and the kids decided which things they wanted to take and which things they wanted to leave and that was that.

Oh you handled that beautifully!
Good for you to be clear about it too - no hints - a great model for your child to see.

My grandparents did this when I was a child and my parents do it now for my kids.

Always thought it was lovely - having your own toys in a different house really makes it feel like you belong there, too. I feel the same way now as the mum - how wonderful that my parents' home can be this for my children.

Nicely handled!

My son got a karaoke guitar thing today from my mammy, he's leaving it at hers cos it feels more special when he goes back to stay, it's not something she's ever enforced though

To Mil...grandchild cried all the way home because we left their presents they are really upset.

I think that is great. I was bored at grandparents without toys. I know you can take some over but what a treat to go to a house where there are toys that are different to the toys you have at home. I think you are overthinking this, it really doesn't matter.

MIL did this too. I thought it was bit weird. DD was bit upset as she wanted her new toy to go home with her. Turned out MIL was re-wrapping the gifts for cousins to use at hers too.

This is a good outcome.

Uts quite nuanced as i think is lovely to have toys at GPs in principle. (Less junk in your house, fun for the kids etc) But "abused" it can be a control device...

Did your dd bring the dolls house home or leave it? I'd be praying it got left.

We used to have to keep anything at grandma’s that had pieces, mum would lose them and had a tendency to throw stuff away

I think if they're wrapped up Christmas gifts, it's mean to tell them that they can't take them home. The kids won't be able to understand why and it is upsetting for them.

However it's fine for GPs to buy toys for their house. But just not as gifts.

I think it’s very reasonable if they are there often. I had stuff that just stayed at my Nanas house however I was there at least 2 days a week. My mum has stuff for my daughter as she sees her nearly daily. Means I’m not carting stuff about in the car everyday. I guess how much they have will need to balance out with the regularity/length of your visits.