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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH slagging off my Santa gifts

87 replies

needlesandhaystacks · 24/12/2024 23:15

I've had a good few glasses of wine so maybe I'm het up.

As I was getting the Santa presents out earlier DH declares, 'Is that it?' We have 2 DC, 2 and 5. I have, as always and with most things, got all the gifts. Both children have got exactly what they asked for. 2 year old won't have a proper clue anyway about quantity and 5 year old has nice things but I haven't gone overboard. We have a house full of toys, we have extended family who will be buying lots. They both get lots throughout the year.

DH questioning why they haven't got more toys. He's done absolutely nothing to contribute to getting the presents, if I'm being honest, isn't that great a dad, I literally do everything. He's saying I'm boring etc. my Christmas's must have been boring as I've got them some practical stuff too.

I just think we have years ahead of us of the kids demands etc and I don't want spoilt children; Christmas or not.

I know some children won't have half the stuff mine will get, and just because we could afford to spend more, should I have to?!?

OP posts:
theelectricnorth · 25/12/2024 00:05

‘Yes, this seems a good haul from my side. When are you adding your half?’

Iliketoplan · 25/12/2024 00:05

My 2 year old is getting a table and chairs, a tractor shaped sponge, a dinosaur toothbrush... and a few toys. Practical gifts are part of Christmas. Your DH doesn't have a clue

MarieKlepto · 25/12/2024 00:10

Two year olds don't need mountains of presents (they'll get a lot of pleasure mucking around with the wrapping paper). As for the 5 year old I'd be asking what wasn't bought from the "letter to Santa" list that he thought should have been? He wouldn't have a clue.

Iridescentdragon · 25/12/2024 00:10

I wish I had started out like you. I went over the top buying gift when the two dc were younger. Now we have another and I'm not working due to disability so money is tight.
You have done the right thing. Have a lovely Christmas 🎄

MerrilyOnhigh · 25/12/2024 00:11

I must say, if I had contributed precisely nothing to buying the presents, I wouldn't have found it hard to work out that that meant that I didn't get to have an opinion on them other than gratitude to the person who had done all the thinking and hard work. Is your husband normally stupid?

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 25/12/2024 00:15

Tell him to fuck right off and he can do it next year!

Did you buy it all and did he contribute? Did he ever ask what you were buying?

I've got one like that. Never took any responsibility - had it been left to him they would have got nothing. Never asked if I was buying presents. Take my advice, and don't put up with it now. I wish I hadn't and I resent him enormously.

ShouldIEvenBother · 25/12/2024 00:16

MouldyCandy · 24/12/2024 23:25

My DH made a similar comment one year. I said, "No, this is just what I've bought. Did you want to add in what you've bought". That shut him up.

This^ is the response. It's not too late OP.

What a cock he is.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 25/12/2024 00:20

And throw in 'assuming we are still together next year'

Ladies please, stop putting up with shitty man babies

Thevelvelletes · 25/12/2024 00:22

Remind me again your input in all of this was?
Followed by a curt fuck off!!

Screamingabdabz · 25/12/2024 00:23

If you ‘literally do everything’ what is the point of him? Why are you role modelling this for your DC?

ManchesterLu · 25/12/2024 00:24

Just tell him it's too late for him to suddenly get an opinion. If he wants an opinion, he can get it earlier and actually be useful.

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/12/2024 00:24

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 25/12/2024 00:20

And throw in 'assuming we are still together next year'

Ladies please, stop putting up with shitty man babies

This. Sow some seeds of doubt for him.

He'll either get better or get nasty. Plan for nasty.

AllTheChaos · 25/12/2024 00:25

MouldyCandy · 24/12/2024 23:25

My DH made a similar comment one year. I said, "No, this is just what I've bought. Did you want to add in what you've bought". That shut him up.

Brilliant!

Motherrr · 25/12/2024 00:27

Wine or no wine, you're not being unreasonable. Mostly women who have to deal with the sorting/buying/wrapping/clearing up/decluttering etc etc and no keeping it minimal is totally fine and is good for the kids not to have too much which is overwhelming

StrikeItMucky · 25/12/2024 00:29

The world suddenly seems to be rife with fuckwit men! I know they've always been a part of society but they're becoming a huge problem, like an infestation of cockroaches 🫤

Yeahno · 25/12/2024 00:34

Lets see what you bought the kids dear.

knowsmorethansnow · 25/12/2024 00:36

Ask him what he has got them

CandleLlama · 25/12/2024 00:41

"Of course that's not it, this is just the gifts from me! What did you get them?"

Frazzledmum49 · 25/12/2024 00:42

Anyone else actually not enjoy Christmas?

So I’m on my own with 3 daughters each. 15 year old never comes out her room. She sees a therapist weekly for depression, anxiety and OCD. My 10 year old is very demanding on me. Has anxiety about EVERYTHING and never gives me a moments peace. Constantly shouting, screaming and crying. My 8 year old is very chilled except she has major sensory issues and getting her dressed is a daily challenge.

I just can’t cope with all the extra things I’ve to do on Christmas Eve and on the day all on my own. The kids start squabbling and there’s never seems to be any happiness even though they get most of what they ask for.

I feel like the worst mum in the world wishing Christmas never happened at all!

Am I the only person who feels this way?

Onlyvisiting · 25/12/2024 00:46

YABU if you let your kids believe all their presents come from santa and not you.
Bugger that, give them a stocking of small santa gifts then claim full credit for everything you've lovingly chosen, bought and wrapped for them! Never too young to learn to be grateful and appreciate their mums efforts. Especially as their dad clearly won't!

janeavrilavril · 25/12/2024 00:46

Yes, a lot of men must think Santa still exists when the presents turn up wrapped and what has been asked for on Christmas morning.

DreamTheMoors · 25/12/2024 00:51

OBVIOUS QUESTION:

”What did you get them?”

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/12/2024 00:51

needlesandhaystacks · 24/12/2024 23:15

I've had a good few glasses of wine so maybe I'm het up.

As I was getting the Santa presents out earlier DH declares, 'Is that it?' We have 2 DC, 2 and 5. I have, as always and with most things, got all the gifts. Both children have got exactly what they asked for. 2 year old won't have a proper clue anyway about quantity and 5 year old has nice things but I haven't gone overboard. We have a house full of toys, we have extended family who will be buying lots. They both get lots throughout the year.

DH questioning why they haven't got more toys. He's done absolutely nothing to contribute to getting the presents, if I'm being honest, isn't that great a dad, I literally do everything. He's saying I'm boring etc. my Christmas's must have been boring as I've got them some practical stuff too.

I just think we have years ahead of us of the kids demands etc and I don't want spoilt children; Christmas or not.

I know some children won't have half the stuff mine will get, and just because we could afford to spend more, should I have to?!?

"oh dont worry darling, their stockings will look much fuller when you fetch out the stuff you chose, shopped for, bought and wrapped wont they?!"

Greysonsgrowler · 25/12/2024 00:52

I bet he was a deeply unpleasant child to parent if this is how he is about expecting children to have piles of gifts.

Pipconkermash · 25/12/2024 00:58

“Either pitch in or fuck off.”