AIBU to say some people are quite happy to spend Christmas day on their own

[fiftiesmum]

Item on news this morning saying a high proportion of people will be spending tomorrow on their own.
DH says surely they have someone they can go to rather than being alone.
The percentage of over 65's on their own is the same (but numbers increased) but the proportion of 21-34 year olds has increased.
He says they should visit parents and family but families are more complex so which one do you visit, there may have been other problems which you don't want to revisit. Perhaps work, travel make it easier to go at other times and more pleasant as you are free to leave

It's a mix up of my kids favourite animals and a reference to our life. Single disabled mum and 3 SN kids, feels like the chaos never ends.

I'm not surprised that it's on the rise amongst younger people. More people are choosing to remain single now and lots of people don't have family nearby.

My gran was essentially Mrs Claus and when she died ten years ago, things completely changed. My immediate family live in a different country and have long holiday over Christmas (I'm not invited and wouldn't use my annual leave/travel budget on these trips). I've had two Christmases alone at home after two break ups.

This year, I decided I'd go away to a cute hotel for the week and I'm so glad I did. Feels like my kind of treat as I'm allowed to have my little dog with me, not have to lift a finger and have delicious food.

A friend commented that everyone would be judging me as sad and single with a silly dog! Even if anyone does think that, I'm enjoying myself (as is the dog who is being completely spoiled.)

I was invited by a couple of friends to spend Christmas with them but it's a faff with my dog and I've not enjoyed this in the past - felt like some kind of onlooker.

If I was in a relationship, I'd probably still prefer to go away. It's so relaxing! There's no running around doing last minute grocery shopping - I've spent a tenner on some quality street and that's it!

I used to pick up a work shift at Christmas to avoid the hassle of choosing who to see at Christmas, who to not see...

This year (complete career change) this isn't an option, and the number of people who have seemed offended at the thought of me not wanting to spend my xmas day choosing is mental.

It wasn't worth the arguing or wearing down, so I am now seeing 3 different groups of people/family/close friends tomorrow, and saw one set tonight.

Literally laying in bed regretting it all and really cannot be arsed with any of it tomorrow.

Next year, sticking to my guns and having a day to myself, with the dog.

Your DH is being unreasonable to presume everyone has family/ friends to spend it with or are happy to spend it alone. Some people are happy to spend it alone- others have no choice. Some people also have family who they are otherwise close with but are forgotten and get no invites. I’d say your DH has been lucky all these years and had enjoyable Christmas’ with family if he can’t understand how people choose to or have no choice but to spend Christmas alone

Why? I genuinely don't see the problem, and it's just one day.

I spent Christmas alone from age 14 to 22. I was raised by an alcoholic so Christmas for me was hell so as soon as I was old enough to not need taken care of, I would spend Christmas alone. My dad would go to a friends house to drink and I’d be alone in our house. Sounds sad but the alternative was far far worse

Yup. A quiet Christmas with just my husband was fine. 4th Christmas on my own because I'm a widow....not so fine.

What is your DH's family background? Some people with relatively uncomplicated families find it hard to imagine not wanting to be together. Also some with difficult families feel a very strong duty or obligation so find it hard to accept that it can be a valid choice to be alone.

I wanted to spend Christmas alone this year but in the end I'm not. Being alone isn't exactly my ideal day, but i would prefer it to being with my family. They're not awful people at all and I enjoy seeing them at other times in the year, but for various reasons Christmas together isn't great.

It's my 3rd and, sadly, I've not quite figured out yet, the best way to do it.
I generally, just want it to be over so normality can resume ASAP.
I do know it can feel more lonely in someone else's house, full of cheery folk, than it feels at home alone.

I spent it alone the year I split from my cheating husband. It was bloody awesome. Could have gone to family but didn’t want the stress or hassle of socialising and potentially spoiling someone’s Christmas.

I think my feelings about Christmas were shaped partly by reading The Dark is Rising as a kid, and a general fascination with England. Plus I am no fan of Australian summers anyway!

After MIL was widowed there was always loads of drama about her going to someone’s at Christmas and whose turn. One year because of different things she spent it alone. She seemed relieved as she seemed to dislike Christmas.
I think a lot of people only spend it with others as they feel like they have to.

A friend commented that everyone would be judging me as sad and single with a silly dog! Even if anyone does think that, I'm enjoying myself (as is the dog who is being completely spoiled.)

@IKnowAPlace Your “friend” is a prize twat!

Absolutely

My mum is always included by DP’s family but if she wasn’t she’d be quite happy on her own. So would I. It’s just a day.

Agreed.

And who gives a toss if a load of strangers judge you (which they won’t).

The extent to which people curtail doing what they want to do because of the opinion of people who are of no consequence is baffling.

Nothing's worse than forced socialising and merriment. If people want to be on their own, respect it, and let them. Don't force your Christmas spirit onto them if they don't want it.

That said, it's a lovely thing to invite people to Christmas dinner if you know they're going to be lonely not by choice. Put no pressure on them, but let them know they would be more than welcome.

I’ve had a couple of Christmas days on my own. Once because I tested positive for Covid on 20th back when you had your isolate (and I did get checked up on) and another because I really just wanted a day doing what I wanted for Christmas .

I have a very small family and never had a big family Christmas. Most I’ve ever sat for dinner with us probably 8 people.

Im at my parents for dinner tomorrow but thats more out of duty because they’re getting old rather than it being what I’d choose to do.

Id quite happily stay at home with M&S party good and lots of fizz.

Nothing's worse than enforced socialisation

Well it goes to show that we're all different, I think enforced isolation is worse.

An Australian summer might be a bit much - I'm in NZ, so not quite as hot. I do like the long days however, and the warmth of the festive season. While a white Christmas would be nice to experience I would only want to do it once, and I'm sure I would be more than happy to get back to summer.

That must be really tough.

I’d wondered if it was a cartoon or something, but when I googled the only results were MN!

I imagine a NZ summer would be much more tolerable, especially in the South Island - what are your temperatures like?

We're having 28 today and 37 tomorrow. Fortunately it's dropping again on Friday. It hit 42.5 last Monday and I just hid inside. And I'm about as far south as you can get on the mainland!

Yes but Xmas day is a good day to get things done, you tend to be left alone, no telesales calls, no deliveries, just a glorious day of peace and quiet.

My grandmother always had the day to herself once she stopped working in a care home.

I'm on my own this year. I could have gone to wider family but chose to go on holiday instead.
It's the first Christmas since losing the last of my immediate family and I couldn't face it with others. I'm not sure what I'll do in future years.

Vicar of Dibley Ha ha
Just noticed the time - hope you’re all set.
I've never been alone Christmas Day.
When I was single used to, on occasion help out in a restaurant which was fun
Fil will be on his own this year as we lost mil in January
He's quite happy, and still has an open invitation top op over if he wants.