AIBU to say some people are quite happy to spend Christmas day on their own

[fiftiesmum]

Item on news this morning saying a high proportion of people will be spending tomorrow on their own.
DH says surely they have someone they can go to rather than being alone.
The percentage of over 65's on their own is the same (but numbers increased) but the proportion of 21-34 year olds has increased.
He says they should visit parents and family but families are more complex so which one do you visit, there may have been other problems which you don't want to revisit. Perhaps work, travel make it easier to go at other times and more pleasant as you are free to leave

Not everyone has family or any friends

I've spent 2 Christmas days alone in the last few years and it's bliss! Lay in, lazy day, bottle of something, great film! Absolutely bliss! It's not always the lonely, miserable time people think it is for everyone.

I’ve never been alone but I’ve wanted to.

As a single adult (before marriage and kids) I hated traipsing back to my parents house - doing Christmas their way, lots of church services and constant religion, spending time with some very prickly adults.

I didn’t really know how to get out of it. One year the trains were down and it looked like I wouldn’t make it back. One of my coworkers was so upset about the idea of me spending it alone and insisted I come to her if the trains didn’t get up and running again. A very sweet lady and a very sweet offer but obviously the idea of an awkward Christmas with someone I barely knew was not very appealing. I was deliriously happy about the idea of just watching Christmas TV on my own with wine and quality street… until the train service resumed sadly.

I agree. Choosing to be alone is very different to being on your own and having no one to celebrate with. Happily on my own for Christmas here.

@EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness, I’ve been wondering for a while where your name comes from?

I would be horrified to spend Christmas alone, I hope it never happens

I think there is a big difference spending Christmas day alone if your life is normally full of people and busy.
If you spend lots of days alone, then spending Christmas day alone just compounds your loneliness.

I know a couple of people this year who are spending it alone by choice and they seem perfectly happy with that. But as @EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness, there's a difference between knowing you have people you COULD spend it with and having nobody that I imagine makes all the difference on the day.

my mum used to spend it alone - while my Dad came to us! Only for the last 5 or so years of her life, but she literally said "I've done enough christmases" I think she found the DC and the excitement just all too much - she was an extreme introvert.

I take after her, and after hosting big christmases, post divorce it was generally just me and the DC with the odd stray friends thrown in the mix. Last year DC went to their dads and OMG - best christmas ever! On my own, my favourite foods, watched what I wanted on TV and just relaxed all day. DC with me this year, which is lovely, but I do have a twinge of nostalgia for being alone.....

I'm a widow, my parents are dead as is my sibling. There is only me and I don't want to be the pity guest at anyone's table. I'm perfectly happy carrying on as normal just me and the dog.

not everyone is lonely when they are alone. I seriously have never felt lonely when alone, I really enjoy my own company, there is always a book to read, programme to watch, dog to be walked. I could easily be a hermit TBH.

I regularly spend Christmas on my own. I have no family, they're either dead or no contact. For me, Christmas is a 'celebration' comprising the shops being closed for a day, and nothing more.

I’m doing family Christmas right now and literally can’t wait to get back home and away from this. It’s not been enjoyable at all and I’m purely doing this to please others every now and then.

I don’t mind seeing family pretty much any other time of year in another context but not at Christmas. Forced fun, forced food, overspending, poor quality entertainment, unwanted gifts. I’ve done nothing this whole week I’d choose to do.

Christmas can be good if you’re with someone you’re on the same wavelength with and think for yourself, but with family it’s a variation of whatever the media portrays as ‘what people do at Xmas’.

With smartphones nobody even talks anymore and they’re all just texting people they should maybe rather be with.

Definitely not next year!!

I would rather spend the day on my own than where there is conflict or strain. I would also prefer being on my own to spending Christmas with people I didn't know very well who had invited me just so I wouldn't be alone.
Ideally, as long as everyone is getting along I prefer to spend the day with family but I would not be at all upset to be on my own if they had other plans.
The nightmare Christmas is one where there's underlying tension and fear of a row breaking out.

My parents and brother are dead and I spent Christmas alone before I met my partner. I got plenty of pity invites which one year I accepted. I was sorry I did, my friend said “let me know when you want to go home” almost as soon as we’d finished eating. I hadn’t even digested my food!

It's a difficult one. This year I'd rather be on my own because am really struggling but feel obliged to spend it with my parents, whilst I love them very much it's a very difficult situation with them and not at all helpful for my mental health. I really struggle with not having a partner or children and so feel very alone in a very anxiety provoking situation. I think what I want is a Christmas that doesn't exist for me and so in the absence of that I'd rather pretend it wasn't happening. I spend a lot of time on my own the rest of the year and am very comfortable with that but do struggle with the weight of Christmas, the expectation and pressure to be having a nice time when I am having such a hard time.

I hated Christmas for years as I always had to travel to family. Mum made it formal and it was only parents, my brother and me allowed. Even as adults. She made such an issue out of the day it was easier to travel 200 miles for an over night. She died a few Chrismases ago.

this year I invited my dad to mine and my friends. It’s 10 of us. My partner hates Christmas as hates the forced socialising. No convincing him it will be food, drinks and fun. Very relaxed day. He doesn’t really enjoy lots of people round him all day. I love it.

so he is choosing to spend Christmas alone. We discussed it and will celebrate ourselves at new year. We like different Christmas things, so it’s a compromise

Not necessarily. There are two things here: does Christmas mean anything to you (general you), and does "alone" mean "lonely"? I spend half my time alone; if I want company I go out. I am not lonely. Christmas means nothing to me and hasn't since I was a child; I'm only culturally Christian, and the whole thing feels ridiculous to me, since it's summer here and it's very much a winter festival. (I'd probably enjoy it in Europe or North America. It needs snow!)

If I could spend it on my own I would in a flash.

Done it once and it was quite nice and relaxing watched Christmas TV all day ate what I wanted no stress now running round altho I couldn't do it every year.

Yes I don’t think being totally alone is for me.

Even if you have family and friends it doesn’t mean that you have someone to be with on Christmas Day due to circumstances.

Exactly this! Christmas here is in summer, and I love just going for a couple of walks, enjoying the sunshine (hopefully!) in the evenings, eating treats, watching TV etc. I love it. I am going across the road to have lunch with my neighbours, and it was very kind of them to invite me, but I would have been just as happy here alone.

Well I'm the opposite. I couldn't imagine anything worse than Christmas at a dreary, dull, cold, time of the year. Summer and Christmas go together for me, and I love it.

I agree about "alone" and "lonely" however, and like you if I want company I go our. I'm alone most of the time, I'm never lonely.

Oh please.. that's a bit dramatic!