Page 4 | Men just don't get it ...

TheyJustDontGetIt · 2024-12-23T23:47:28+00:00

Name changed ... Men will never fully appreciate that women will cross the road if they hear someone walking behind them, have to talk to someone on their phone when walking down the street alone etc ... A car advert just came on the TV and showed that if you moved your foot under a sensor on the bottom of the boot, then the boot opens up. This is to help when you have your hands full and want to put shopping etc in the boot. My husband simply didn't understand that my first thought is that it could leaves us women vulnerable when we are getting in a car on our own. Could someone simply come behind the car, do this, and then be able to get in the car? I've been the victim of some very serious domestic violence previously, so maybe that's why my mind jumped to that. However, men just don't get our concerns!

JimHalpertsWife · 25/12/2024 07:35

Same with electric cars. You sit in the car as its connected to the charger, alone in a carpark. Sometimes after dark.

If a man approaches you, you can't really go anywhere. In order to move the car, you have to get out and disconnect it. You can't just drive away. It's a ridiculous situation to put lone women into and for me, is the perfect example of male privilege and items designed without the female purchaser in mind.

Lurkingandlearning · 25/12/2024 07:45

I’d like to think the boot opening sensor would only work if the car key fob was close by. If not people will be having their spare tyres stolen, if nothing else more sinister

TunnocksOrDeath · 25/12/2024 08:04

helpfulperson · 24/12/2024 11:44

I don't think we as women totally get that men live with the possibility of some random male will start a fight with them over nothing. I know that the common denominator is men as the attacker but the attacked is both sexes and actually the chances of a man being attacked is higher than a woman.

And the chances of being attacked through the boot in either case are so infinitesimal as to be irrelevant. Surely if someone tries it you just drive off. That would come clearly under self defense

The reason that men get attacked more is very possibly that they generally take far fewer measures to avoid putting themselves in a vulnerable position in the first place. Men will often get attacked while heading home in the dark, alone, late, after drinking. Just the sort of situation that most women will plan ahead to avoid, if they can.

BitOutOfPractice · 25/12/2024 08:07

I agree, men don’t get the risk assessment thing we constantly do.

But I will fight to the death to retain that boot feature. You know you have to have the keys on you for it to work don’t you? No more breakable inable than any other boot.

InSpainTheRain · 25/12/2024 08:46

My car does this - but you can disable it. Also if you are in the car with the keys then it doesn't work. Personally I find it useful when carrying shopping.

sashh · 25/12/2024 08:47

When I picked up my last car, the salesman, who was lovely, very proudly put my home address in the sat nav with the label 'home'.

I changed it to the address of the local police station.

I've said this before but it is like being a white South African who disagreed with Apartheid. You can see the problem but you don't live it.

Catapaulting · 25/12/2024 08:53

JimHalpertsWife · 25/12/2024 07:35

Same with electric cars. You sit in the car as its connected to the charger, alone in a carpark. Sometimes after dark.

If a man approaches you, you can't really go anywhere. In order to move the car, you have to get out and disconnect it. You can't just drive away. It's a ridiculous situation to put lone women into and for me, is the perfect example of male privilege and items designed without the female purchaser in mind.

I had never thought about this and electric cars. But you’re right, no way would I want to charge a car at night in a car park.

BIossomtoes · 25/12/2024 08:59

Lurkingandlearning · 25/12/2024 07:45

I’d like to think the boot opening sensor would only work if the car key fob was close by. If not people will be having their spare tyres stolen, if nothing else more sinister

It only works if the key fob is very close and most cars new enough to have the feature no longer have spare tyres. Our boot opens this way and it’s a God send when your hands are full of shopping.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 25/12/2024 09:00

Catapaulting · 25/12/2024 08:53

I had never thought about this and electric cars. But you’re right, no way would I want to charge a car at night in a car park.

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Do people actually sit in their cars as they're charging in a car park? The electric car owners I know don't. They plug the car in to charge, then go and have dinner /coffee/see a film /go shopping /whatever it is they've come to do. If they've come specifically to charge at night, they pick a car park with something nearby to do or go (McDonald's/Starbucks /motorway service station etc)

VaddaABeetch · 25/12/2024 09:01

Bewareofthisonetoo · 23/12/2024 23:55

I disagree /massive over-reaction -I would like a feature like this on my car.
If you have been a victim of DV that has clearly massively skewed your view and I how you are receiving therapy.
I am not scared up go out alone after dark or imagine every man is put to harm me and not are other women I know.

Not every man is out to harm me but I don’t know which one are out to harm me.

You can’t tell by looking at them. They won’t give you a warning

Catapaulting · 25/12/2024 09:15

RichardMarxisinnocent · 25/12/2024 09:00

Do people actually sit in their cars as they're charging in a car park? The electric car owners I know don't. They plug the car in to charge, then go and have dinner /coffee/see a film /go shopping /whatever it is they've come to do. If they've come specifically to charge at night, they pick a car park with something nearby to do or go (McDonald's/Starbucks /motorway service station etc)

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I don’t know. I guess it depends where the charger is, what time it is and what is around it.

XxSideshowAuntSallyx · 25/12/2024 09:24

I don't get this fear, sorry! The only thing I do is I take the well lit routes home past places with cctv and kebab vans (in case anything happens to me). I don't cross the road because someone happens to be walking behind me.

Not every man is out to harm me, 99% of men are just going about their lives. Doing what women are doing, walking home.

biscuitsandbooks · 25/12/2024 09:30

JimHalpertsWife · 25/12/2024 07:35

Same with electric cars. You sit in the car as its connected to the charger, alone in a carpark. Sometimes after dark.

If a man approaches you, you can't really go anywhere. In order to move the car, you have to get out and disconnect it. You can't just drive away. It's a ridiculous situation to put lone women into and for me, is the perfect example of male privilege and items designed without the female purchaser in mind.

Honestly, this isn't something that would cross my radar let alone give me cause for concern.

Surely you plug in your car and then go and have a coffee or something? You don't just sit there for ages while it charges?

Magnastorm · 25/12/2024 10:30

JimHalpertsWife · 25/12/2024 07:35

Same with electric cars. You sit in the car as its connected to the charger, alone in a carpark. Sometimes after dark.

If a man approaches you, you can't really go anywhere. In order to move the car, you have to get out and disconnect it. You can't just drive away. It's a ridiculous situation to put lone women into and for me, is the perfect example of male privilege and items designed without the female purchaser in mind.

I...what?

How, exactly, would you design an electric car charger with the "female" purchaser in mind? How would you design a charging system that allows you to just "drive away"?

I mean, there are legitimate points to make here but this is just daft.

Leafy74 · 25/12/2024 10:36

JimHalpertsWife · 25/12/2024 07:35

Same with electric cars. You sit in the car as its connected to the charger, alone in a carpark. Sometimes after dark.

If a man approaches you, you can't really go anywhere. In order to move the car, you have to get out and disconnect it. You can't just drive away. It's a ridiculous situation to put lone women into and for me, is the perfect example of male privilege and items designed without the female purchaser in mind.

It really isn't 'the perfect example of male privilege'.

In fact by calling it that you'll just make men roll their eyes and probably ignore the next women who says male privilege.

Bit of a feminist own goal really.

Edingril · 25/12/2024 10:42

JimHalpertsWife · 25/12/2024 07:35

Same with electric cars. You sit in the car as its connected to the charger, alone in a carpark. Sometimes after dark.

If a man approaches you, you can't really go anywhere. In order to move the car, you have to get out and disconnect it. You can't just drive away. It's a ridiculous situation to put lone women into and for me, is the perfect example of male privilege and items designed without the female purchaser in mind.

Have you been on the feminist sherry again?

Jennyathemall · 25/12/2024 11:06

JimHalpertsWife · 25/12/2024 07:35

Same with electric cars. You sit in the car as its connected to the charger, alone in a carpark. Sometimes after dark.

If a man approaches you, you can't really go anywhere. In order to move the car, you have to get out and disconnect it. You can't just drive away. It's a ridiculous situation to put lone women into and for me, is the perfect example of male privilege and items designed without the female purchaser in mind.

dumbest most over reaching post I’ve ever read. Do better.

Basketballhoop · 25/12/2024 11:34

Catapaulting · 25/12/2024 08:53

I had never thought about this and electric cars. But you’re right, no way would I want to charge a car at night in a car park.

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And if you are scared to charge your car at night, you plan accordingly. If you are doing the sort of distance that requires a mid route charge, you go to a service station or similar. The charging points are well lit and usually close to the building and other amenities.
I have a full electric car. This fear has never even occurred to me.

DILLEYDALLEY · 25/12/2024 12:13

Jennyathemall · 25/12/2024 11:06

dumbest most over reaching post I’ve ever read. Do better.

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Yeah it's really daft. If a man approaches your car at night whilst it's charging and starts harassing or scaring you you just keep your doors locked and call the police. Pretty sure most of us have had to park our cars at night at some point though and this hasn't happened.

latetothefisting · 25/12/2024 23:38

ClairDeLaLune · 24/12/2024 09:27

They totally don’t get it. Very decent male friend suggested to female she parked in a quiet multi-storey car park for an evening out. Umm tell us you’re a man without saying you’re a man.

well, where else are you supposed to park?
I haven't felt more at risk in a multi-story than on-street parking. The multi story is usually better lit, for one thing, and if it's attached to a shopping centre will have lots of security cameras.
Or should women just not leave the house after dark?

Is it "men just don't get it" or "if you think too hard literally everything could be a risk but that's no way to live your life?"

Most women who are killed or sexually assaulted by someone they know. You could spend your entire life never leaving the house and get killed by your husband.

OCDmama · 27/12/2024 16:47

GeneralPeter · 24/12/2024 14:58

Yes. I think you've misunderstood me.

The previous poster pointed to data that men are more likely to be victims of violence than women, and questioned how it could be that women have it worse.

My answer is that the reason is (in my view, fairly obviously):

i) Severity. A woman being attacked by a man is in far greater danger than vice versa, for example. Although I've seen data before suggesting that woman-on-man domestic violence is as prevalent as man-on-woman, it's far, far less serious. It's almost never deadly.

ii) Avoidability. A man is rarely at risk of serious violence in his own home. Not true for women. And men can, to a certain extent, choose to 'stay out of trouble' or to de-escalate when out in the pub, for example. When a woman is attacked outside the home, it's very rarely because she has gone looking for a fight.

Edited

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No you're wrong again.

If we're going by your frankly insane jumps in conclusions how about women could choose to live alone without men (eradicating that risk).

And stop victim blaming men who are attacked in public. I've witnessed it so many times myself - a lot of the time it's not men 'looking for a fight' at all. They've been picked on to prove someone's fragile masculinity or just in the wrong place at the wrong time. When we were younger my husband was constantly a target as he's 6'3.

GeneralPeter · 27/12/2024 17:16

@OCDmama I’m not following you.

Are you saying my belief is incorrect (about women being at greater threat of harm than men from domestic violence), or that in a different universe, where all women lived alone, it would be incorrect?

And on the second point, are you saying that women are as likely to provoke or instigate violence as men are on a night out? I can’t say that’s been my observation.

Your mention of victim blaming makes me think you believe some things shouldn’t be said, whether or not they are true. Is that your view, and is that your true objection here?