For only wanting to pay my share of the food my sister and i like and not hers? New years eve dinner at my parents

[Laylalie]

so the thing is.. me and my bf and my sister and her husband and their kid we all will be coming to my parents home for new years eve. My parents don’t eat this dish (meat) we like so we usally share the costs where i give money same day they buy it. My parents will be making a steak and turkey. I don’t mind i like both. But my mom said my sister asked her if i could buy it, because her payday is the day before new years eve, where most thing are closed here in norway. I wouldnt mind but last year she didnt pay me back for «their share» so i ended up taking the whole bill for this meat, had to buy 2 packs of it so ended up costing me almost $85. So know i have trust issues when it comes to this🤣 my mom kinda mocking me that im being a bit greedy. But why do i have to pay for their share for a meat they really want? Like its not my fault their priotizing other things when they know they want to eat this for new years eve. Like i don’t want to get poor before my next payday.. and i hate to remind people to pay me back and them making me feel like an asshole because my sis have kid and have to priotize other stuff and can’t pay right away..

You're not being unreasonably. She's trying to get out of paying her share.

Tell her you can't pay for the whole lot this year because of an unexpected expense. Tell her she can sort it out with your mum at a later date (not sure why she doesn't do that anyway!).

"No sorry, remember last year she didn't pay me back...I don't want that to happen again, and I hate chasing people up for payments. Plus I'm happy with steak and turkey."

YANBU, Tell them she promised you last year to pay half and didn’t.

Tell mum not to mother making the item.

I’d just say that I will happily eat steak and turkey and give your mum a donation towards that

Yanbu.

Something like “Hey Sis, unfortunately after last New Years I can’t afford to cover your share as well as my own as you never paid me back last time. I have bills coming up and I simply cannot be down that amount of money. Why don’t you try to work something out with Mum instead?”

Yanbu but I think you'll have to just say not to buy the meat if your sister cant afford to pay up front or your mum will be out of pocket. Just tell your mum not to bother unless sis pays her share.

Are ATM’s closed in Norway on NYE? Couldn’t she get the money out on her way?

Just say to both of them it's your sisters turn to pay this year as you covered it all last year, and can she sort it straight out with your mum as you have no money to cover it??

Why are you being asked to pay?

My response would be "Given sister didn't pay me back for this last year, she can repay by buying for both of us this year".

If you are being pressured by you mum also then she can make the "loan" until your sisters payday.

Spending other peoples money for your own gain is awful behaviour. Stop enabling it.

@LookItsMeAgain i also tought something similar. That she can talk out with my mom instead. Or else i may be end up every year paying for the whole share. My mom just says she dosn’t eat that so we have to sort it out. But the whole share is being put on me.

This is perfect!

So it’s your mother who is asking you for this money? Does your sister even know you’ve been asked?

Tell you mum “I can’t pay you for sis’s part of NYE meat. I can pay you for mine though. Perhaps you could cover Sis’s part and remind her to go to an ATM on her way to see you on NYE. She gets paid the day before I believe.”

Tell her / both of them that it’s your freeloader sisters turn to pay as you paid last year .
id be mortified if I owed someone money for a year, not cheeky enough to mock them about it!

@BreadInCaptivity and i so agree with you. I always paid back for my share the same day when they bought it. Don’t understand why they can’t do the same or just be happy with steak and turkey. We don’t need that much dishes lol. My sister can become very demaning that no not that brand and blabla thats why i find it so dreading. Because she asks my mom to ask me, instead of askinh my mom if she can take it for her or sthm. But no im the greedy one..

What’s this dish and why can’t she have it at another date during the holidays if she is strapped for money just before the 24th?
Clearly she is waiting for you to pay the full price

I'd just forget about the special dish. Surely everyone can eat what their host cooks, or bring along an extra dish which everyone can share. This couple can have their special meat on their own at a time they can afford it.

Just tell your mum not to bother with the other dish, you’re happy with what she’s already Mali g and you’ll contribute to that cost.

@SoNiceToComeHomeTo yea or other tought if i bought one but we have to share it fair so everyone gets, but not where everyone gets to fill up buy just this dish. But i also don’t mind saving up that extra money for other things. Also turkey? Yum! But yea i agree, they can have their own dinner with this meat when they have their own money

This^

"No, I bought it last year, remember? It's DSis's turn this year."

Just say you aren't being paid either. How ridiculous. I wouldn't bother going.

Just say you paid last year. It's her turn to pay this year.

"I wouldnt mind but last year she didnt pay me back for «their share» so i ended up taking the whole bill"

And that's why it's her turn to pay this year. I'd go with @Livinginadream's suggestion:
"No sorry, remember last year she didn't pay me back...I don't want that to happen again, and I hate chasing people up for payments. Plus I'm happy with steak and turkey."

Your sister is trying it on. If she can't afford it, she does without; instead she' trying to sponge off you.

You're not being at all unreasonable. You paid last year and were never paid back. "Fool me once, shame on you - fool me twice, shame on me" = don't fall for that one again. Don't buy it and just eat whatever food is available politely without supplementing it with something else. Anyone teasing you about being tricked into subsidising $85 worth of food and not being cool with suffering the same again is not a nice person.

Can't say I would ever invite anyone over, let alone my own DC, if I couldn't foot the bill. Otherwise, eat what is being made!