To think it’s so selfish to take sick kids out in public places

[picturethispatsy]

Just this week alone I’ve had to sit with my immune-compromised child on a train and in a theatre near very obviously sick kids constantly coughing and visibly poorly with bright red cheeks/clearly running a fever.

Caveat: I know that there are occasions where you have to go out and run an errand or something similar & have no-one to leave said child with, but why would you take a very obviously poorly kid to the theatre (two adults and two children so one could’ve stayed at home), not least as it’s unfair to the child but also how selfish to knowingly spread a virus!? Especially in the run up to Xmas FFS.

I realise we can’t shield ourselves from every virus going and it’s part of being human to catch them but there is a difference between inadvertently spreading one and knowingly exposing others 😭

Do people genuinely not think or are they just that selfish?

Do you remember that time when everyone owned a face mask and wore it out of the house… maybe start wearing it again if you don’t want to catch germs I public. Just a thought.

People spend a lot of money on Christmas events, and the average kid will be full of cold a good few times over winter, if you cancelled pre booked plans for every sniffle you'd cost yourself a (non refundable) fortune.

I totally get that it must be awful for those who are vulnerable, and perhaps when Ill everyone should be wearing a mask, but unfortunately I do think that for non refundable events a cold is just something you carry on with.

I do think that of its something like D&V you should stay home obbs- basically if you can go to school you can be out and about.

We took our daughter on a 'Santa train' this afternoon. On the way there she was fast asleep. Got there and once we got on the train it was clear she wasn't right. Bloodshot/sleepy eyes, slight fever, red cheeks. She enjoyed it but honestly I think she'd have preferred to be in bed.

It was an hour's drive, we couldn't get off the train and to be honest she wasn't dreadfully ill, or coughing or spluttering everywhere. Not to mention it cost us quite a bit too.

So yea, you are being a bit unreasonable.

School blames you if you keep them home.
If you are accepted youcsan go to the theatre or what ever extra curriculum you are up to.

Thank you for the top tip 👍

Thats not how it works. The person who is sick needs to wear the mask to prevent spread.

The mask can catch large droplets, like the ones that come directly from a sick person. If the sick person isnt wearing a mask, the large droplets become tiny droplets in the air. A mask cant stop this.

OP wearing a mask wont stop her catching things from others not wearing one. Just stop her spreading sickness if she was sick.

YANBU OP. Unfortunately, people dont seem to care about the wellbeing of anyone besides themselves and their own (and maybe not even that, if theyre dragging out their poor sick kids who need rest).

Let parents decide if and when their kids need to stay at home. We have had to cancel a few Christmas plans because one or both dc were 'too' ill to go. By that I mean sleepy, feverish or being sick. In those cases it wouldn't be fair on anyone to drag them out.

However if we stayed at home every time one of them had a cough or a sniffle we wouldn't have been out of the house since September. Clearly not practical.

Bugs are part of life. Especially in the winter. Agree with pp, wear a face mask if you are that worried. But overall I think it's par for the course at this time of year. Yabu.

Adults too. The amount of people I've seen in food shops this past week coughing all over the place (onto the fruit and veg) without even bothering to try to cover their mouth. Grim.

There's a cough going round at the moment which is lingering for weeks/months. At some point, you just have to get on.

I understand that other people’s kids/other families are of no concern especially when money is involved.

In my examples I’m talking about non-stop coughing and visibly running a fever, not a bit of a sniffle. Kids who look like they should be in bed. Happened to us one Halloween too. Kid on next table visibly poorly, whimpering and sorry for herself, parents administering Calpol. We all came down with Covid a few days later. The family we were with too.

Generally virus shedding is at its peak before you are symptomatic, it is on the decline when symptoms show. That is how viruses stay alive.
You can safely net by keeping them out of the public when you have just discovered they are ill but your already past peak exposure. In the young viruses like rsv can have long lasting symptomatic implications when you are no longer shedding

If people are well enough to go out then they will go out. It was ever thus. Deal with it! People aren't going to stay home for fear of passing their lurgi on.

Low level viruses are so common, if we stopped doing this because of mild self limiting viruses we wouldn't be able to plan anything. You have no idea why those kids are on the train too, it could be for a very important reason. Unless they were properly ill I've always just carried on, as do I myself, have had less than 2 weeks sick my whole adult life and I'm in my 50's.

Good quality face masks are not perfect but if you're immunocompromised offer protection.

I work in a historical building and we run meet Santa sessions. A little boy attended today who had developed chicken pox spots overnight according to his parents- he was clearly feeling unwell and basically just sat and cried.There were 20 children attending the session including young babies and a couple of pregnant women.I have an autoimmune condition and the medication has a specific warning about the chicken pox virus so I've got to contact my GP in the morning to see if I need to take antivirals. I'm not happy

Ah that's really awful for you. I'm sure you try to protect yourself as much as you can and you're right clearly very ill people should be at home if they are contagious.

I've just given up trying to get through till Christmas with my youngest 17yrs who's disabled and catches everything. Every year she's sick for Christmas having picked up numerous illnesses, so we stay in the week before Christmas, I keep her off school and I don't bring her to crowded places, it means missing out on Christmas activities which she loves but it means that she can have a healthy Christmas without ending up in hospital.

I also have an immune compromised child, and I'm sort of the fence really.
I feel it's our responsibility to stay at home when our child is immune compromised. Which is shit for all of us, but the problem is, you have no idea who is ill. Like someone else has said, you tend to be over the worst when you have symptoms. So all those people who are asymptomatic are the ones you wouldn't even notice, but are probably the ones who are the problem.
Also, we have another child who is always getting ill, and there's nothing we can do about him being round out other child.
Having said that, people going out with more serious illnesses, like chicken pox- that's very irresponsible.

I agree sick people including children should wear masks when indoors or stay home. A ordinary cold for one person can turn much worse for another. If people were less selfish then we’d all be healthier and lose less time off work.

This is a situation where education is key. We have decided as a country not to vaccinate against varicella, but without an education programme about the effects that exposure can have on the immunocompromised you can't blame those who have adopted the government's relaxed stance on the virus. Sadly the onus is put on you to access antivirals - I hope they are effective and easily accessed

Thing is I’m talking about people (children) who are clearly NOT well enough to go out. Whose parents are taking them anyway.

I’ll deal with it though… I’ll be dealing with it when I’ve got a sick child on my hands who has to take their immune-suppressant meds 👍

It's that selfish attitude that has kept me trapped at home ever since Covid.

I would "deal with it " by having to go to hospital and be on a ventilator again.

I might start doing this 🧡 thank you.

Wear mask for an ordinary cold or stay home?
Won't happen.

That sounds awful for you, and I do sympathise. I am commenting because I find COVID a really interesting virus. I work on healthcare so have over COVID had to frequently test, I know of 2 times when I have had COVID and been completely asymptomatic (the first time I knew I had COVID I had 10 days off work with the nerves akin to watching your household have Nora and waiting for it to hit. The second I just enjoyed my free days off 😁)
I feel it's a virus we don't understand, and don't seem to be trying to understand (ie it has already killed off those most succeptible). I do have worries because I work with the immunocompromised and have never knowingly displayed symptoms, do I shed? I kinda feel it is no longer a thing for anyone but those badly affected by bit, who I feel so sorry for

YANBU. Some people do have a choice. I would wear masks in very busy places in your position though, not because it's fine to bring sick kids out, just because people always will and sometimes infectiousness comes before symptoms.

There are a lot of people who believe that they and their kids can afford to get sick as many times as they like with no consequences. For them sickness doesn't matter, and they feel zero obligation to do anything to prevent it in others. They see the world and society as belonging rightfully to them and people like them alone. People with health vulnerabilities can visit, sure, but mustn't make unreasonable demands like suggesting spreading viruses is bad. Not our world, not our place.

@Smallwins our HV told us that the chicken pox vaccine 💉 is coming into the routine childhood vaccination schedule soon as the JCVI have recommended it to government but couldn't tell us when. DD got the vaccine due to immunocompromised close family members through the NHS however we would've paid for it too if it hadn't been offered. Agree education is key!