Annoyed at DD's friends birthday party on Christmas Eve

[ShabbaRAnkzz]

DD has been invited to her friends birthday party tomorrow (Christmas Eve). It's from 12-4 and parents have been asked to attend / stay with the children.
This takes out a block of Christmas Eve when I've got so much other stuff I need to do.
Its one of my daughters clotest friends so I will need to attend.
AIBU to this it's a very inconvenient time?

I had a child with a Christmas Eve birthday. Always did his party on Christmas Eve afternoon. Everyone always came. I think most parents were glad of a couple of hours child free time and the children always loved it. But I didn't expect the parents to stay so if you have a lot of preparation left to do that's tough. But if you can get all your chores out of the way it could be a lovely way to spend the afternoon.

My birthday is around Xmas time, it's utterly shut
( as evidenced by many of the replies on this thread). It gets totally overlooked. I think having a birthday celebration at the date of your choosing is a wonderful thing to do!

As someone with a December birthday, it’s always been crap. As a child everyone was more focused on Christmas, and as an adult it’s completely impossible ever to have a birthday meal because everywhere only serves Christmas menus. I’ve lost count of the number of turkey dinners and cracker pulling I’ve essentially been forced to have on what’s supposed to be my birthday, and that’s before you get to the ‘joint’ presents! (Not bitter at all…)

With this in mind, if the kid’s parents are trying to do something ‘normal’ then I’m all for it. Picking the closest weekend just doesn’t cut it if you’re always the one whose birthday is overlooked or considered second best.

That said, given the day and their age, I don’t think it’s necessarily a problem to leave for a couple of hours in the middle if you have things to do. Or maybe team up with another parent to ‘supervise’ two children in split shifts.

Really? A 4 hour party for a 6 year old? Not sure I'm buying this tbh.

Thanks so much for sharing that nugget.

I would of had it at the weekend if it was my DC but seeing as her birthdays Christmas Eve I don’t think that is too bad, 4 hours is way too long to ask parents to stay though, 2 hours would be better.

Just being nosy but what activities are they doing?

What is the attendance rate?
Anyone having a party in most of the school holidays at our school have a very poor attendance level. Even birthday parties late Nov/beginning of Dec are met with 'sorry! We are busy at XYZ' I can only imagine the fit our kids friends parents would have if it were an Xmas Eve party 😆

I'm not sure where you're choosing to eat but I had a meal out three times last week and there was plenty on the menu that wasn't Christmas fare. In fact, they all had a regular menu plus a Christmas one.

One DN has a near Christmas birthday and it's comes with its challenges!

Why would they need all the parents there for the entire time? That's a huge commitment! Can a few parents stay for the start and then swap? Carpool options? Surely there doesn't need to be a 1:1 ratio

If it was a dropoff that would be amazing for me but I wouldn't enjoy staying for an excessively long party on any day of the year.

I’m astounded by the ME ME ME attitudes on this thread.
I wouldn’t stay.
I wouldn’t go.
I’d never throw a party on…
I just wouldn’t…
And on & on & on again.

Y’all can kiss my rosy red arse.
This is about an innocent little girl whose birthday falls on Christmas Eve.
She deserves a party on her birthday just as much as your little darlings do.
It’s the Christmas season.
Stop bitching about a SEVEN YEAR OLD GIRL’S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
Your generosity of spirit is in the negative 5000s.
Y’all should be embarrassed and ashamed of yourselves.
She’s a little girl you’re denying, but you’d NEVER deny your own kids.
And you absolutely know it.

Just wanted to ask- my toddler also has an Xmas Eve birthday- how has your daughter found having a birthday that day?

I get really nervous about poorly attended parties or close friends not being around. When I had her I was just relieved she wasn't born Xmas day!

Not me or even my family
but
twins
birthdate between Xmas and nye

so appropriate celebration / response / break is ……?

But her birthday willalways fall on Christmas Eve, so are you saying the poor child can never have the joy of celebrating on her actual birthday? It’s bad enough that her birthday gets tangled up in Christmas, and that it is likely that some people will only give her one present to cover both events. Good for her parents making sure that she has the fun of a special day to celebrate her birthday, just like children born on the other 361* days of the year do .

• not counting children born on Christmas Day and Boxing Day who must have the same issues.

Im not at all saying she shouldn’t have a party. But there’s no need to have a party on your actual birthday. My daughter has her party a couple weeks before or after her birthday, my son had his weeks early as his birthday clashed with my daughter’s P7 graduation. Of course children can have a party but if this was another random Tuesday during the school year she’d have to pick a weekend date anyway so it’s logical to say she could have made it easier on her guests to just have the party a few days early or late.

I'm asking everyone but I wondered what you like to do for your birthday as an adult? Would you have liked your childhood birthdays to be different in retrospect?

Yanbu. 4 hours+travel out of your Christmas Eve is a big ask.
Yes it sucks to have a Christmas birthday, I understand as one of mine has a birthday in the school summer holidays so it’s inevitable not everyone will be able to attend a party due to people being away, so we have to hold it on a more convenient date, that’s just the way it is.

Since the party is on the day of the actual birthday, YABU for thinking they should change the date. YANBU for saying you are not able to stay if you genuinely can't, but why not plan ahead around it? The fact that this is your daughter's best friend, rather than a classmate who has invited the whole class, seems significant in terms of how you prioritise this.

I just wanted to ask, what was the reception like for the June parties? Did your DC ever mind?

I know few people who were born around Xmas/ new years and celebrate their ‘and a half’ in June rather than having their birthday blended with other holidays

Give me a break. I'm sure the poor innocent child will manage.

Sorry but we aren't changing our family Christmas traditions to attend some kiddie's four hour party on 24 Dec.

If she's disappointed, that's on her parents for abysmally poor planning.

Sorry but people with Christmas birthdays have to compromise enough. She should ABSOLUTELY have her party on her actual birthday. YABU.

I'm also an Xmas birthday person and this is why I don't bother with birthdays anymore. There's always a family Xmas event, Christmas travelling, last minute shopping or work parties that clash with any date I consider. I'm always being told to pick a summer date and use that instead but for me that's just weird!

Ultimately you have to do what works for you, maybe explain to the parent you can't stay or arrive late/leave early but also solidarity to all Xmas babies 😂And happy birthday to me and others celebrating today, tomorrow or boxing day.

@GoGoo yes me too re Xmas day, my daughter is 33 this year.

She has never missed out on her birthday. As i described i used to hold a daytime event at my house. And i never came across “a no am too busy to drop my child off” as it was a spot of child care for all the parents.

It evolved in to a sibling/family gathering as we all had our our in-laws and out laws and other places to be on Xmas day.

My daughter had a phase as a late teen as rather going out with her pals for a couple of hours but always came home by nine to rejoin her birthday.

then after that she invited all her mates with their little ones around to mine. Xmas has been always full on around mine as a result. And my daughter has no issue with her birthdate

I would advise that you send invites out well early and reminders, as that seems how it works these days.

Am pretty gob smacked at peoples attitude on here, as if its such an inconvenience.

A four hour party is mental!!!! Especially on Christmas Eve! 10-12 would have been more reasonable

My daughter’s birthday falls 2 weeks before Christmas - it was always a nightmare getting friends to parties even 2 weeks before and often family would buy a birthday present and say it was also for Christmas - which always felt tight to me. Anyway I couldn’t fix tight family members but to solve the party dilemma we took to celebrating her birthday as a family on her actual birthday and had a summer birthday party to celebrate with her friends. Bit like the Queen having 2 birthdays. It worked well for us.