Is this too much?

[Shirtskillme]

So I broke up with my exh about 7 months ago and recently been casually speaking to a guy I met on a dating app. I wasn’t really looking for anything just a bit of fun. Anyway after we met up for a date he messages me every morning and night and also throughout the day. I am just not used to this as my exh was always out doing various things. I feel like he is too needy and wants to see me all the time, he has even bought me and the kids a Christmas present. Is it just that I am not used to it or is this a bit too much?

Its too much to buy your kids a present! I'm assuming from the OP that he hasn't even met your kids?

He has met them briefly as he called round to drop me some wine and chocolates off whilst they were supposed to be asleep! Of course I just said he was my friend

Yip too much too soon.

I don’t know how to let him down as I think I want to end it. He asked me to come round last night as kids were at their dads and I just wanted a night to myself. He said he would take the day off work tomorrow and treat me like a princess all day, couldn’t think of anything worse. He has also said he loves me!

Ok it's insane of him to drop the l bomb. Though ofc you are absolutely loveable lol but yeah quietly back away or just say sorry you are coming on too strong for me

I feel bad as he told me his wife was a narcissist and don’t want anybody to get hurt. He had lots of therapy afterwards but I honestly just wanted a bit of sex and fun.

FFS what???

I know. He keeps trying to push me with the kids but I absolutely do not want that

He sounds suffocating OP. Does he live by himself?

Dump him and be more careful about who you give your address to, when looking for men to have sex with.

That's your children's home you could be bringing all sorts of trouble to.

If your kids go to their dad's, book a hotel to shag in.

Yes he does.

Yes. I feel like moving house. He is way too full on. I will never ever tell anybody my address again. Lesson learned

Just tell him that, it's not you (lie) I just want sex and fun sorry and I don't want to lead you on. Doing down his ex wife, the mad ott antics with you tbh they scream red flags.

Oh dear me. I'd end it. Just end it.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

I suppose I am worried about the repercussions of ending it.

Dump. He'll love-bomb you until YOU love HIM, then he will drop you like a stone and gaslight you that he never did anything wrong.

Also people dropping a dob story on you when they first meet you is highly manipulative. Most people try to keep that under wraps until they establish trust, coming out w all this in the fun, getting to know you period is something not yo ignore. He's doing and saying things to make it harder for you to just walk away as you feel sorry for him.

This - why oh why did you let him know where you live?! Anyway - lesson learnt for next time.

Beware the lovebomber with the crazy ex! Better to get rid of him sooner than later.

Are you worried he'll keep coming round if you dump him?

This is really concerning OP. I think you need to end things ASAP and make sure you document everything if his behaviour escalates e.g he keeps coming to your home. His behaviour sounds unhinged.

I know, I feel so stupid. I just thought he was doing a nice thing bringing me chocolates. I will never ever do it again

Love bombing. I had a guy do this after 3 weeks, I was young (and luckily child free at the time). He was a bit older, luckily I trusted my instincts and broke it off. I dread to think where I’d be now if I’d been swept up by it all, in hindsight it’s a massive red flag for controlling behaviour.

I don’t know what I am worried about, maybe

The fact that you are worried how he will react if you dump him is a worry OP

Be kind but clear when you end it. Don't leave him with any hope that you might change your mind.

If he says anything with an implied threat then don't hesitate to involve the police.