To think this was rather rude?

[dragonmama13]

So this happened a few hours ago and has me upset till now.

My husband and I were waiting for the bus at the bus stop with two buggies (for 2 and half year old and 2 months old). There were a handful of people ahead of us at the bus stop when we got there. My toddler was being cranky as it was cold and raining. Two busses got cancelled and by the time the third one came, the stop was extremely crowded. When the bus finally arrived, it stopped right ahead of us and the driver signalled us to get on. We were too distracted trying to calm down our toddler to let the passengers ahead of us get on first. An old man at the stop loudly called us "mannerless cunts". This is the first time
I have heard such a language being directed at me. We were so taken aback that couldn't even respond. I am very non confrontational and husband knows this so he kept quiet as well (against his will, he says). We never jump queues, but this was one of those moment in time things where it just happened. The bus was nearly empty so everyone got to sit.

I am still quite upset about the whole thing. For what it's worth I have always let families with little children get ahead of me in queues when traveling alone, so just don't understand why people won't extend the same grace. Does anyone have similar experiences? How did you handle it?

You were definitely a little rude as you queue jumped but the person who shouted was worse. His language was appalling and to be honest it was probably a good thing that you and your husband didn’t respond because it could have escalated quite quickly. The person does not sound well mannered, kind or capable of having a calm adult conversation. You probably won’t ever see him again so don’t give it another thought. I’m sure that most people who witnessed it think badly of the man, not you and your family.

Both rude for different reasons. But I wouldn't give it any more thought. However I always used to wait until til everyone else was on and get on last when I had a buggy so I didn't hold anyone up sorting it out.

Anyone who shouts mannerless cunts at children in buggies, is a mannerless cunt, so forget about him, he’s a mannerless cunt,

As a regular bus user, I definitely would have gestured to the 2 people in front of me to go ahead - but, equally, if I was one of those people, I would have let the family with 2 buggies get on first even if I'd been there before them.

You were in the wrong, but I get you were stressed and frazzled. The sweary bloke was obviously also stressed and frazzled 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'd say everyone in the queue was as frustrated and cold as you.
Then you hopped on first.
I'd be pissed too!
He'd tarred u with the brush of people who do that all the time.

In reality, how can you not see a long line of people in a queue? 🤔

Swearing at you was not ok, but I would have apologised and promptly forgotten about it.

In that situation I would have hoped I'd have the sense to wave everyone on ahhead of me and get on last. Buggies can block the front of the bus a bit. So everyone would have had to go past you with 2 buggies trying to calm kids down. It would have been easier all round for eveyrone else to get on quickly ahead of you.

But he was bad mannered himself to use such foul language and to make you feel bad about it.

I do not understand this. At. All.

In the OP you say there were a "handful" of people ahead of you. Now it's two. So which is correct?

The man who shouted what he did was well out of order, I mean it's not language to freely use around adults, let alone children, and everyone in the queue who heard him will have formed their own opinions one way or the other.

However, if you were waiting at the bus stop long enough to have missed two busses that were cancelled, and long enough for the queue to be significant by this time, why on earth didn't you and your husband use that time to plan what you were going to do when the bus arrived, long before the bus actually arrived?

This is all that's wrong in society ATM, people do not converse with their fellow planet dwellers - there was nothing to stop you speaking to the people in front of you to let them know you wanted to board the bus first, or however you wanted to play the game.

Unless, of course, I'm the only one who talks to strangers in such situations, in which case UANBU.

To clarify - the man was exceptionally rude to say what he did, but was right to feel annoyed if you had boarded ahead of him, and you need to seriously chill-out now, forget his rudeness, but don't forget what happened next time you find yourself in the same situation.

You queued jumped. The others in the queue wont have known your reasons for it.
It's irritating when you have been waiting for ages For public transport and some queue jumps.
They were rude, you appeared to be rude to them.

Forget about it.

This.

I think you're being a bit dramatic about dealing with a cranky toddler and a baby when there were two of you. I used public transport all the time with DS up till the age of 10 and was always conscious about adhering to the queue, particularly if it was elderly people. I think you need to be a bit less self absorbed.

You were a little bit rude,but the man who swore at you was VERY rude.

They might well have done if they hadn't been called cunts!

Really hate queue jumping but people sometimes do make honest mistakes. 'Excuse me, there's a queue here' would probably have got him an apology, but I suspect he just wanted to be abusive to someone and this was his opportunity.

Can you really queue jump with a pram? There's only one (maybe two) space(s) you can fit on the bus. You weren't taking a seat from the man unless he also had a pram. All very dramatic from him.

The bus driver beckoned you on, and you went on. The swearing man was rude, not you.

Some drivers insist on wheelchairs and pushchairs before other passengers to give them a chance to manouvre into the designated spot before people are trying to seat - he might have been one of those drivers. Goodness knows what was going on with the man, some people are on an absolute knife edge.

Exactly this, you all leave at the same time. The prams have a designated spot, nobody's jumping in this scenario.

And let's all think how lovely it would have been if the OP and her husband conveyed all of that verbally to their fellow passengers, in a cheery and light-hearted manner, before the bus arrived. Why can't we all just read the room (or at least the bus stop) and take the initiative?

I hear you. Although I've barely left the house today (only to walk the dog), the weather has been so awful and windy that I've only managed a grunt of a hello to neighbors and other dog walkers. I can't imagine waiting for a bus with the kids in this and trying to be cheery and lighthearted. Although I also appreciate that we may be particularly soggy today in the north ☔️

I think we all walk away from these moments wishing they had played out differently. I'm sure the responses have given the OP some ideas for next time they are in a similar situation.

Don't let the miserable old bastard upset you.

If he was desperate to get on first he could have just said excuse me, I think I was here before you.

You did the right thing by not responding but I'd have probably told him to fuck off

Well you were rude. Why didn’t you step out of every one else’s way? There were two of you, you should have just moved out of the way. Everyone was miserable because of the rain.

You weren’t rude at all. He was awful. But he might be a drunk/mentally ill/a massive arsehole who calls the general public names every day, so I wouldn’t worry about it any more.

You were not rude at all. The bus stopped right beside you. What were you to do? Stand aside to let every dog on the street on? No, you did the right thing and the old man should be ignored and disregarded. Total overreaction on his part. Don’t think any more about it.

I don't know why anyone would give families priority over anyone else?

It's never crossed my mind.

I have my own young family with 2 children close in age in a double buggy.

I never expected anyone to let me go before them .

Some people aren't cunts?