To buy boring house to be near good school

[HouseMoveHopeful]

Honestly just that. We live in a town where one secondary has massive bulling issues and the other is physically crumbling. Houses are pretty affordable, but the town is really really run down with a lot of obvious drug problems. Current house is far too small, I need office space and another bedroom for DC.

We’ve been gifted a big chunk of money to move to catchment for an outstanding school, modern building, great facilities, naice rural village. But to get the space we need inside for the house we can only afford a modern build with postage stamp garden, lovely area, but just not what I thought we’d be able to move to.

This is a total, total, first world problem I know, but currently we have tiny house but huge garden, and I adore the garden. There is literally nothing else on the market in our price range.

AIBU to have massive wobble? I can’t talk to my friends locally because they all went to the local schools and think they are perfect. DC are all really academic (but probably on the high functioning autistic side and haven’t gelled with kids at their school)

YABU - get over yourself, enjoy bigger house and better school. Plant wildflower meadows guerrilla style on the local verges and walk in the hills more.

YANBU - stay put/stay local, enjoy your massive garden.

We did similarish a few years ago and I’ve got no regrets. We’re now in a 1950s 3-bed semi, and it’s starting to feel a little squashed with a teen & a tween. But the kids can walk to school, they’re doing well, and it’s a pretty safe area so they can walk to friends’ houses or just go out with their friends without too much worry. They wouldn’t have had that level of freedom where we were before.
The plan is to stay put here until they leave school.

The answer is always the better school. As long as your house has enough space and is in decent enough repair, the look and feel of it don’t matter at all.

The questions you ask are:

does this house give my children access to a good school?

does this house give them quiet places to study?
does this house put me in a financial position that I can be around to support them as needed or will I be stretched thin?

I have an ugly house - can’t be extended or improved much but ensured catchment for a good set of schools and community is great. So worth it.

And at least your boring new build won’t be full of asbestos like my weird house. Go for it, you can move to something with a bit of character later on.

Are you actually a gardener OP? If so, then you must know that you can make even a small garden beautiful. Go for the new home and the better school, if you really miss a big garden, then plan to move again when the kids are older. Education and a good school is SO important.

Move to the bigger house and learn how to make a small garden amazing.

Not a proper gardener by any means, but we’ve had space for fruit trees here and I’ve really enjoyed that and throwing stuff in to make it look pretty. We all spend a lot of time out there, although getting a lot less now with preteen

We took the hit on the garden with our house. Would I love chickens and veg patch ? Yes, but at the moment it was the sacrifice worth making for the house and location.
Go for the nice village!

It doesn't have to be the "forever home". It can be the "suits us for the moment " home.

OP it's entirely normal to love your beautiful garden. But if you've green fingers, you'll re-create it somewhere else. In the meantime, the garden is the only box your current house ticks for you. It's too small, in an area you don't like, with schools you don't want to send your beloved DC to. From what you say, the area beyond your garden isn't very attractive, whereas the proposed new area is lovely; if so, you may miss your garden less than you think. If not, you have the prospect of moving again once your youngest has finished school.

It sounds like you really need to get them out of this town. The new house is more likely to hold its value if it's in an area with good schools vs a house in a depressed town. This will give you more options when the kids are finished school and you may want to sell and buy a place with a bigger garden.

Could you sell your current house and rent in the catchment for long enough to get a school place, then later buy a house a little further away where it might be more affordable to get a period house with a larger garden, but close enough to stay in the school? That's quite a common thing to do where we are in London, as catchment areas are tiny.

We got our eldest into a popular primary by renting on the same street until they had started at the school, then bought a house 20 mins walk away so still walking distance, but cheaper as it isn't in catchment and in a less sought-after area. Our younger dcs were then able to get places on sibling policy. We lost some money to renting, but stamp duty meant it wouldn't have been worth buying and then selling.

School quality is the most important thing while the kids are that age. Surely you can move to somewhere lovely when they have grown?

Also we had the same situation, we moved for the schools and it was definitely the right choice. The kids can ride around this neighbourhood far safer than our old one. The experience at school is so much more productive and pleasant. I thought I'd miss my massive garden but I haven't. I enjoy having my tiny garden look perfectly neat all the time with very little effort.

We moved to dd private school in year 9. She wasn’t coping with her former state secondary due to size and location. It had quite a city feel and she needed somewhere calmer with more of a rural feel and I have recently been told by a highly trained professional she likely has autism but heavily masked.

We did look at moving when she was younger. But I was too ill. The school she would have gone to had we moved is a smaller, secondary with quite a rural demographic in a small market town and although extended in the late 60s, parts of it are over a century old. Outstanding ofsted and had more of a private feel. The school, she left was also an outstanding ofsted but very large and was built in the 60s/70s.

Some of the girls at her former school call it the prison. The reason for imo this is how the school is managed. The smaller secondary is very nurturing. The larger school is not.

I think there are a number of things to factor in when you decide to move. Now that dd is older I am glad we didn’t move in a way but we have the best of both worlds as we live in a village albeit very crowded now. We have good transport links where we are and this wouldn’t have been the case had we moved to the rural location. Living in a village is very annoying for a teen.

I hate our house. We did it for schools and it paid off.

Can you keep a bit of money back in case a small piece of land comes on the market locally?

This. Gardening, unless as a hobby that you have the time and inclination for, equals 'outdoor housework'. But if you do want to spend time gardening, could you see if there is an an allotment available in the village. Or even see if there is a volunteering opportunity? Helping older people with their gardens that they can't manage themselves?

A modern house that you can afford, in a nice area, that has the space you need sounds great. Will probably be cheaper to run and easier to maintain too. And to me, the lack of a big garden would be an advantage, not a disadvantage.

This. You could make the small garden utterly beautiful even if it is little. Are there any allotments nearby that are available? Could that be the answer to a bigger outside space? If veg growing isn't your thing could you plant flowers there?

Posting from my small house near excellent schools.
We can move once the kids are older, in the grand scheme of things it's a small period of time.

Completely get it, it’s really hard compromising on the garden space. But think about what you’ll gain. I think you should move for your children. You could always move again one day, doesn’t have to be forever.

We have a v narrow terrace house garden and we have planted espaliered fruit trees along the sunniest fence with supports etc. Got a great crop of apples this year. You can still do great gardening in a tiny space - think of it as a challenge!

Exactly this. We moved from a Victorian terrace which we’d lovingly restored in the city centre to a bland new build in the suburbs and I don’t regret it one bit. I will never love our new house but DC is at an amazing school & we have a cheap-ish mortgage with no maintenance costs. One day I’d love to live in a beautiful period property again but this isn’t the time.

Please, please move. Your teenagers need a school where they are happy more than you need a bit garden!

Perhaps you could put your name down for an allotment?

You can’t choose a garden over your kids education OP, it’s just not right.

Definitely prioritise more house and a a nicer area and a better school over a big garden. A small garden can be made to be really nice. Bigger gardens are less important as kids get bigger. They’re less maintenance, there are advantages!

Teens are far more influenced by their friends than their parents.

With that in mind, what will their influences be if you stay?

It is also worth keeping in mind that houses near good schools always sell and rarely lose value.