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Original poster

To be fed up of friends negative comments?

62 replies

dfleutr · 21/12/2024 19:02

I decided to go blonde two years ago, wasn’t a great decision as it took a long time to get to the specific shade I wanted and it was expensive.

Tired of toning my hair every week. I decided to go back to my natural colour and I got extensions and I felt fantastic.

Met up with friends last night and it was the first time seeing me with dark hair. Everyone said it was lovely and friend mumbled it was nice.

Later on she brought up my hair and said “but all that money you spent on going blonde” … I’m well aware of how much k spent and I also had it for 2 years and very much felt done.

I don’t need compliments and being told it looked nice for a good enough comment for me, but it frustrated me it had to be followed up with something negative. She’s done this quite a few times.

OP posts:
Radishknot · 21/12/2024 19:04

She said you spent a lot on it which you agreed with, I’m not sure that’s particular negative.

Dishwashersaurous · 21/12/2024 19:05

That doesn't sound like a negative comment
Just factual

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 21/12/2024 19:06

That wasn't negative, just an observation.

PoissonOfTheChrist · 21/12/2024 19:06

I think you're looking to be offended.

If you don't like her then just stop being friends. No need for drama.

Original poster
dfleutr · 21/12/2024 19:09

PoissonOfTheChrist · 21/12/2024 19:06

I think you're looking to be offended.

If you don't like her then just stop being friends. No need for drama.

I’m not looking to be offended.

I just find it odd, she said it looks nice. Then an hour later she brings up the cost. The cost is irrelevant to her.

Am I suppose to feel bad for spending money on my hair and wanting a change after two years?

OP posts:
PoissonOfTheChrist · 21/12/2024 19:10

No one has said you're expected to feel bad. Your friend didn't say that either.

Radishknot · 21/12/2024 19:26

I just find it odd, she said it looks nice. Then an hour later she brings up the cost. The cost is irrelevant to her.

so she complimented you, why is it bad to mention the cost?

Am I suppose to feel bad for spending money on my hair and wanting a change after two years?

wowsers, you sound hard work…

LadyQuackBeth · 21/12/2024 19:26

Have you kept her informed along the way, every attempt to get the exact right shade etc?

You've switched from taking your hair very seriously and acting like there's a perfect colour, to someone who plays around with their hair. Neither approach is wrong but I'd be surprised to spend years listening to someone dissect different blonde tones who then just switched to dark on a whim.

She's just surprised, was probably relieved when you found the right colour and would maybe move on to not needing compliments and as much hair chat. She hasn't actually been negative, just not enthusiastic. If you like your hair - that's great, I hope you enjoy it enough to not need other people to care.

wizzywig · 21/12/2024 19:27

She's like a grumpy old man.

Original poster
dfleutr · 21/12/2024 19:31

Radishknot · 21/12/2024 19:26

I just find it odd, she said it looks nice. Then an hour later she brings up the cost. The cost is irrelevant to her.

so she complimented you, why is it bad to mention the cost?

Am I suppose to feel bad for spending money on my hair and wanting a change after two years?

wowsers, you sound hard work…

She complimented it by saying it looked nice.

Then hours later randomly brought up the cost.

OP posts:
Ineedaholidayyyy · 21/12/2024 19:32

It's not a negative comment though, it's just a factual comment. Based on this example alone, I don't think she's done anything wrong...

Radishknot · 21/12/2024 19:34

Then hours later randomly brought up the cost.

So what though?

Original poster
dfleutr · 21/12/2024 19:34

LadyQuackBeth · 21/12/2024 19:26

Have you kept her informed along the way, every attempt to get the exact right shade etc?

You've switched from taking your hair very seriously and acting like there's a perfect colour, to someone who plays around with their hair. Neither approach is wrong but I'd be surprised to spend years listening to someone dissect different blonde tones who then just switched to dark on a whim.

She's just surprised, was probably relieved when you found the right colour and would maybe move on to not needing compliments and as much hair chat. She hasn't actually been negative, just not enthusiastic. If you like your hair - that's great, I hope you enjoy it enough to not need other people to care.

I mean you’ve just assumed all of this?

Why would I have kept her updated on my hair at any point? I really don’t think anyone gives a shit about my hair but me.

Taking my hair seriously?? What?

Acted like it was my perfect colour? Acted to who?

I never switched to dark on a whim. It took me months to decide actually.

OP posts:
Birdscratch · 21/12/2024 19:35

She sounds like a bit of a Negative Nelly as she has form for this type of comment but it wouldn’t get to you so much if you were more confident about your decisions.

snowyglobe · 21/12/2024 19:35

Sometimes the truth hurts.

Dishwashersaurous · 21/12/2024 19:36

Sounds like she was just making an observation, and having a conversation.

xyz111 · 21/12/2024 19:55

The title suggests she does this all the time?

Original poster
dfleutr · 21/12/2024 20:12

snowyglobe · 21/12/2024 19:35

Sometimes the truth hurts.

Not really. £300 every month + salon products on hair isn’t ideal but it’s affordable. Between appointments I’d tone it myself. Overall it’s just too much maintenance for me to spend 8 hours a week just on hair.

I loved the blonde but I equally love the dark hair. And I think after two years most people like to change up their looks.

Other way around I’d just compliment a friend, I wouldn’t feel the need to bring finance into it when the cost has had nothing to do with me.

OP posts:
arcticpandas · 21/12/2024 20:15

She was just making an observation. I would have just laughed and said "I know, it's crazy". Would definitely not have been offended if a friend said this.

LetsNCagain · 21/12/2024 20:15

How did she know how much you'd spent on it?

I've never dyed my hair so I'd have no idea how much it cost, I had no idea it was hundreds every month

Radishknot · 21/12/2024 20:17

Some of my friends comment on how much I spend on shoes, it’s never offended me!

Margorett · 21/12/2024 20:18

She hasn't said anything negative, you're being totally unreasonable and sound hyper sensitive !

ChristmasinBrighton · 21/12/2024 20:19

Did you post about this a few weeks ago, complaining nobody had commented on it?

EmberAsh · 21/12/2024 20:20

It's not negative to comment on cost. You're hugely overreacting.

ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 21/12/2024 20:22

Not everyone’s going to like your hair.