To be fed up of friends negative comments?

[dfleutr]

I decided to go blonde two years ago, wasn’t a great decision as it took a long time to get to the specific shade I wanted and it was expensive.

Tired of toning my hair every week. I decided to go back to my natural colour and I got extensions and I felt fantastic.

Met up with friends last night and it was the first time seeing me with dark hair. Everyone said it was lovely and friend mumbled it was nice.

Later on she brought up my hair and said “but all that money you spent on going blonde” … I’m well aware of how much k spent and I also had it for 2 years and very much felt done.

I don’t need compliments and being told it looked nice for a good enough comment for me, but it frustrated me it had to be followed up with something negative. She’s done this quite a few times.

Agreed

I really couldn't imagine giving this a second thought 🤷‍♂️

You sound a little insecure though based on “Which has been rare for me for a while but last night I just felt so confident (whereas usually I want to feel invisible)”. If you like your hair & don’t care about the cost then her saying truthfully that you spent a lot on it wouldn’t have any impact on you.

She was probably just thinking aloud. If I was your friend I'd probably be thinking of all time and money it took you to go blonde. It's not really negative or an insult it's just an observation.
I don't see why you're so upset about this innocent remark.

Yes it sounds likely a micro aggression as suggested by other poster.

I think a good thing is to prepared in advance of any catch up how to handle these sort of subtle digs. You know she's doing it and you know you'll be accused of over reacting if you snap. Based on what you've said I can see the type she is. You have to mentally downgrade her now. She's showing you this side so be prepared for future interactions. Don't bitch about her to the other 2! Often people reserve their bitchiness for one person and you fall into a trap. Be clever and accept she's a bit of a bitch but keep that knowledge to yourself. Just act accordingly. Give her less of your energy.

It's horrible to realise friends can be like this.

Ne feeling like that has nothing to do with my hair - blonde, brunette, red I’ve been them all. My confidence remains the same. I probably do look better with dark hair as it’s my natural colour.

I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship that ripped my confidence to pieces. So it is a rare occurrence that I go out and feel good. I’m in therapy for it so hopefully I won’t feel like this horrendous forever.

And I absolutely love my hair dark. I loved it blonde too but the maintenance I was doing was pretty much having to tone it with each wash - it’s messy and time consuming and I’ve done it for two years. I enjoy trying different looks.

I’m sorry that happened to you & it’s great you love your hair but as I said I don’t understand why you have taken a factual statement as a dig.

Sounds like a blokes reaction, maybe she fancied you more when you were blonde.

You say she's made other comments what were they?

On it's own this sounds like a something of nothing to me, but if there is form for this, maybe I'd think differently

Am I suppose to feel bad for spending money on my hair and wanting a change after two years?

No

I totally agree. It’s none of her business what you do to your hair!
I cba with “friends” like this who don’t care how they talk to you. Her comments aren’t needed.

I think the trick with people like your friend is to avoid going on the defensive and attempting to justify your choices. It was your money and it’s your hair. You don’t have to explain yourself. In this case, when she started off with ‘but all the money you spent …’ something like, ‘I loved being blonde’ or ‘I love trying new looks’ would work. If you really want to fuck with her you could put on your best sincere look and tell that she shouldn’t be afraid to try new things.