Page 4 | Colleague threw wine down my dress

devilspawn · 22/12/2024 20:45

Abi86 · 21/12/2024 22:05

I’m surprised your company does't have a policy on acceptable behaviour and alcohol use. Do you have hr?

I’d address it directly, but I’m a guy. "That was a shitty thing to do, the other night. Spill wine on me, laugh and then walk off. I just wanted you to know that it pissed me off, damaged my dress and was unacceptable behaviour"

lol at the idea of a company enforcing any kind of alcohol policy even if they have one

devilspawn · 22/12/2024 20:46

I would take it seriously, not because of the action itself but because of what it represents. I worked with a woman like that who would do things like "joke" about pushing me out of a window, she clearly disliked me for some reason and it would come up all in all kinds of petty ways. So I wouldn't trust her to be honest with you about anything important work-related and I'd also keep a log of incidents and who else witnessed them in case it's needed in future.

katter · 22/12/2024 20:56

Since you're new to the company raising a fuss this early might backfire on you and make you look like a drama queen.
I would stay away from her and suss out the Office dynamics in the meantime. Chances are that if she was a bitch to you she might also be to other people.

fruitypancake · 22/12/2024 20:56

What an absolute cow OP- how dare she behave like that . I would hold your head up high tomorrow, just remember you have done nothing wrong and if others have seen that then they will know what type of person she is .

rwalker · 22/12/2024 20:59

Not great but just move on nothing to gain by making a big issue of it

Vettrianofan · 22/12/2024 21:01

I hope she had the decency to throw a glass of white wine on your dress after throwing the glass of red!

MiamiWindMachine · 22/12/2024 21:04

Smack her in the gob.

MiamiWindMachine · 22/12/2024 21:06

housethatbuiltme · 21/12/2024 19:17

I was accused of throwing a drink over someone at a party once.

They are to this day dead set and insisting I did. Except I wasn't there lol. I had left and moved away over two months early and everyone else has attempted to explain that since I was 100 miles away and not actually at the party it couldn't possibly be me but she still insists. I can only imagine she was really pissed at this party since she is unwavably convinced she got a drink thrown over her by a ghost of someone not there. Weirder thing is we where friendly before I moved so its not even like we had bad history.

That said your story reminds me of all those comments on wedding forums about deliberately spilling red wine on people who wear white to a wedding. Maybe they took offense to your outfit somehow although I'm not even sure what red wine on a dark dress would do other than be wet.

How is this story relevant?

PUGMEISTER21 · 22/12/2024 21:08

Gone12 · 21/12/2024 18:14

Not really an AIBU but posting for traffic.

Joined my company 2 months ago and had Christmas party on Thursday evening.

Was mingling with colleagues before sitting down to dinner. This colleague was a bit tipsy and complimented me on how I looked and my dress before then suddenly moving towards me and spilling her glass of red wine down the front of it.

She and the male colleague she was with laughed and walked off. I was mortified and felt upset. Luckily the dress is dark so it doesn't really show the stain, but I can't get the smell of the wine out. The dress will need dry cleaning.

Will see colleague on Monday. Not sure what to say or do.

Did anybody die as a result of this?

Gummybear23 · 22/12/2024 21:08

Gone12 · 21/12/2024 18:14

Not really an AIBU but posting for traffic.

Joined my company 2 months ago and had Christmas party on Thursday evening.

Was mingling with colleagues before sitting down to dinner. This colleague was a bit tipsy and complimented me on how I looked and my dress before then suddenly moving towards me and spilling her glass of red wine down the front of it.

She and the male colleague she was with laughed and walked off. I was mortified and felt upset. Luckily the dress is dark so it doesn't really show the stain, but I can't get the smell of the wine out. The dress will need dry cleaning.

Will see colleague on Monday. Not sure what to say or do.

Jeez you sound a nightmare.
Shit happens.
Get over it.

MiamiWindMachine · 22/12/2024 21:13

Why would you say anything?

Jesus Christ, there are some wet lettuces in here. Why would you NOT say anything?

I would make her feel as uncomfortable as possible about it at every opportunity. She’s got it coming.

MiamiWindMachine · 22/12/2024 21:13

PUGMEISTER21 · 22/12/2024 21:08

Did anybody die as a result of this?

Show quote history

Really??

Bowies · 22/12/2024 21:29

fairydust11 · 21/12/2024 19:01

If you believe It was done on purpose, I think you should formally raise it with your manager. If you think it was a drunken accident do nothing.
Either way, moving forward I wouldn’t engage with either of them at all unless I had to for work purposes.

I agree and would report if it was done maliciously so it can be logged in case of future incidents.

If she was drunk and didn’t seem to know what she was doing I would ignore but minimise contact,

NantesElephant · 22/12/2024 21:34

PUGMEISTER21 · 22/12/2024 21:08

Did anybody die as a result of this?

Show quote history

No.

HTH hun

SinnerBoy · 22/12/2024 21:53

Bloonket · Yesterday 21:38

You cannot ask for money, this stuff happens.

Yes she can, it's long established legal precedent that even accidentally spilled drinks, or gravy etc, which require professional cleaning can be indented for.

standononefoot · 22/12/2024 21:57

SinnerBoy · 22/12/2024 21:53

Bloonket · Yesterday 21:38

You cannot ask for money, this stuff happens.

Yes she can, it's long established legal precedent that even accidentally spilled drinks, or gravy etc, which require professional cleaning can be indented for.

Of course you can ask for money.

If she had any manners at all she would have insisted on paying for it to be cleaned already!

Give her the invoice on Monday.

If you think it's the start of a bullying pattern I would passive aggressively email HR copying her in

"Hi Marge, you probably heard that Susan spilt red wine down my dress at the party. Just letting you know I've sent her the dry cleaning receipt and I consider the matter dealt with. Merry Christmas!'

Then it's in the system and the next time she does something bitchy it can be viewed as a pattern of behaviour.

CaptainCabinetsTrappedInCabinets · 22/12/2024 22:09

All this means op, if it was deliberate was that you looked fucking phenomenal and she was jealous.

Hold your head up high

Abi86 · 23/12/2024 03:05

Gummybear23 · 22/12/2024 21:08

Jeez you sound a nightmare.
Shit happens.
Get over it.

Show quote history

Gummybear out on the turps with her work colleagues. One pissed idiot spills a flagon of wine on Gummy, then gives her a shit eating grin and walks off with a shrug of the shoulders. Gummy's dress is drenched…but it’s ok. Shit happens and she’ll get over it.

housethatbuiltme · 23/12/2024 11:27

MiamiWindMachine · 22/12/2024 21:06

How is this story relevant?

Show quote history

How is a story about co-workers and drinks spilled down a dress relevant or a thread about a co-worker spilling a drink on a dress... did you actually just ask that?

Do you understand the concept of conversation? it happens when social creatures swap similar life stories to bond, its how the world works.

MiamiWindMachine · 23/12/2024 11:48

But it was a story about an incident that never actually happened! So yes, I think it’s irrelevant.

Nantescalling · 27/12/2024 17:33

The state of the brain after lots of drinks and no food is pretty nill awareness. Possibly this is your first Xmas booze up but they are particularly special occasions. Lots of people are showing off but actually making absolute dicks of themselves. No point in getting upset, they probably didn't even notice and what is the price of dry cleaning rather than holding a grudge.

Original poster

Gone12 · 27/12/2024 22:40

Nantescalling · 27/12/2024 17:33

The state of the brain after lots of drinks and no food is pretty nill awareness. Possibly this is your first Xmas booze up but they are particularly special occasions. Lots of people are showing off but actually making absolute dicks of themselves. No point in getting upset, they probably didn't even notice and what is the price of dry cleaning rather than holding a grudge.

🙄

OP posts: