Colleague threw wine down my dress

[Gone12]

Not really an AIBU but posting for traffic.

Joined my company 2 months ago and had Christmas party on Thursday evening.

Was mingling with colleagues before sitting down to dinner. This colleague was a bit tipsy and complimented me on how I looked and my dress before then suddenly moving towards me and spilling her glass of red wine down the front of it.

She and the male colleague she was with laughed and walked off. I was mortified and felt upset. Luckily the dress is dark so it doesn't really show the stain, but I can't get the smell of the wine out. The dress will need dry cleaning.

Will see colleague on Monday. Not sure what to say or do.

OP has said she can't get the smell out so it must be a dress that's washable at home normally.

I would be really tempted to do some passive aggressive digs about how drunk she must have been. ‘Oh my gosh how is your HEAD? You were sooooooo drunk - it was hilarious. Did you even notice you’d spilled your drink?? Hahaha’

but be really blasé about the actual dress ‘oh that old thing? I’ll probably send it to the dry cleaner at some point, I always do after I’ve worn it anyway’

take away any satisfaction she might have had at getting it dirty

No, I'd only had lemonade at that point. It shouldn't matter anyway.

Not enough to go on. People have asked if it was deliberate, nothings been said about what happened afterwards and people are banging on about cleaning a dress.

So can't really say owt.

Your post is vague and doesn't match the headline - did she throw it at you or accidentally spill it? How or why did she step towards you? More info needed.

I was accused of throwing a drink over someone at a party once.

They are to this day dead set and insisting I did. Except I wasn't there lol. I had left and moved away over two months early and everyone else has attempted to explain that since I was 100 miles away and not actually at the party it couldn't possibly be me but she still insists. I can only imagine she was really pissed at this party since she is unwavably convinced she got a drink thrown over her by a ghost of someone not there. Weirder thing is we where friendly before I moved so its not even like we had bad history.

That said your story reminds me of all those comments on wedding forums about deliberately spilling red wine on people who wear white to a wedding. Maybe they took offense to your outfit somehow although I'm not even sure what red wine on a dark dress would do other than be wet.

She suddenly moved her hand which was holding the drink towards me. Was more of a deliberate movement than 'oops I'm so sorry' spill.

I did this once, by accident. Was bringing drinks back to the table. Spilled red wine on a colleague’s dark skirt. My reaction was very different. I was extremely apologetic and offered to pay for dry cleaning.

I don’t know if she did it on purpose but her reaction was off. Not sure how you should deal with her on Monday, but maybe assume it was an accident.

The fact that she and the male colleague did this and then laughed and walked off but didn't apologise does make it look deliberate.

as a pp said, raise it informally with your manager...in case the person has form for this and keeps on doing similar.

Hopefully she was just being an idiot and not picking on you in particular. But it was pathetically rude behaviour.

What is it you want to happen here?

I think if you make a fuss over it she's just going to claim it was an accident and you could come off looking bad here depending on the dynamics at your work.

I'd try as much as possible just to laugh it off.

She sounds like the kind of person you probably don't want to antagonise.

I'd have her marked down as a mardy cow and would watch her for further evidence of cowbag behaviour.

We work in the office of a smallish independent company, and yes, will have to work with her a lot. If it's relevant, the chap who was with her is a manager but based abroad.

Not sure if it was deliberate but it seemed to be. She moved her arm and hand with the drink in towards me and then suddenly moved the glass at me before walking off laughing with the above manager.

@Letmeknowhowthatgoes "Highly unlikely it was accident. If it was colleague would have been mortified not laughing. She's a bitch who you know now to keep away from"

Wow!

It's almost always cock up, not conspiracy. Remember that-you'll have a happier life.

I would try and raise above it if possible. Easier said than done I know. Maybe imagine you have a halo on. If it happens again then I'd find a way of getting back at her. Or having a big wing-din with her.

Chalk it up to "stay away from the office bitch". I'd be sorely tempted to present her with the dryclean bill & shame her in front of colleagues into paying!

Get it dry cleaned and pass her the receipt when you pass her desk.

Well obviously you gotta plot your revenge now

I love this phrase 😆

I would put money on she did it in purpose. Well done for staying calm.

Put jam or melted chocolate on her chair.

When stories are circulating around the office about the party on Monday… “it was so fun seeing everyone let their hair down. Poor Sarah was so pissed she spilt her wine all down my front and didn’t even notice!”

I did this once, knocked over a glass on a table which tipped all down the dress of a friend.

I was absolutely mortified, offered to pay for dry cleaning and apologised again a few days later.

Given her reaction I’d be erring on the side of it being deliberate. What a cow

Why would you say anything? Obv, drunk didnt show. just write it off.

She sounds like a bully, then. At least she has let you know who she is. Watch your back and make notes of all incidents at work. Be assertive with her to make it clear you are not going to be an easy target. Good luck.

She did in on purpose, if the manager also laughed then it is a toxic work environment

Does she have any reason to be jealous or feel threatened by you?