To think that Christmas is just a nightmare for a lot of people.

[MrsSlocombesCat]

I have struggled this year to afford presents and as far as I am concerned Christmas is for children. I can’t be arsed with it all. I keep thinking about all of the people who can’t afford to buy presents for their kids and how it distressing it must be. I think parents on UC should get a decent bonus so they can buy presents for their kids. It really upsets me that there are children who might not get presents on the day. Everything is so expensive now that the cost of living crisis has caused. I thought life would be better under Labour but they’re doing nothing to help disabled people. I had never heard of a right wing government getting into people’s hearts and minds like they’re doing today. So many gullible people.

There are plenty of people who find the "Christmas is about family and togetherness" thing really depressing and pressurising too. It'll be just me and my mum who's 77. My dad died, my marriage went tits up because of infertility, so no kids. It's a bit bleak.

I wish I could. It's my only surviving parent who'd go ballistic. It's just not worth the hassle of non compliance. I've tried for so many years. It's awful. The stress I get myself into is on me, you're absolutely right. I wish I could just buy a token shitty present and not worry but I'd never hear the end of it. If I read what I said, I'd be giving the same advice as you. But it's just not that simple. Unfortunately.

The money I've given to charity will make a significant difference to a lot of people and I know it will for a fact as I know the person sending the money and I know what's being organised from it. That's what Christmas is about. I'm desperately trying not to be too outing.

Buying presents because it's December means nothing to me. I'd much rather nice gestures or sporadic gifts just because. The stress and expectations put on me are disgusting but I can't change that dynamic. I also don't want presents to open so it's not one sided.

Anyway, I'm upset and crying now. Thank you for your words

Ah, the parent-who-cannot-be-pleased. That's a tough one.

There a few really good, short(ish) You Tube videos about dealing with parents like this. They tend to be mostly about parents with narcissistic traits but are nevertheless relevant for dealing with any hard-to-please parent when you are an adult child.

I'll see if I can link to one later in the day maybe. I really should be asleep but my mind's whirring.

And @WaveyGodshawk, you're absolutely right about this

A ten pound bonus is pathetically insulting imo

I honestly think the UK government should stick it up their arses just keep it.

I quite like this guy from the US. He explains things well, and breaks concepts down to a practical level without droning on. He's called Jerry Wise.

Hope the linky works.

I get it @TruthThatsHardAsSteel and @WinterCrow has some good advice.
I've had to remove my boundary. I wish I'd never put in down.
Not much I can do this year but I'm thinking when I can no contact is the only way to go.
I've been Have a good Christmas-ed today by a fellow dog walker. They're just words but I find hard to hear.

I’m a single mum, I only buy for my child and our Christmas meal came from the local church for children on free school meals. It was all lovely.

The tax payer should not be footing the bill so parents can buy presents for kids during Xmas, what a ridiculous idea. If you can't afford to buy things for your kids, maybe you shouldn't have had so many kids? It's not the problem the rest of us should have to foot the bill for, esp since it's nowhere near a necessity.

That ridiculous idea works very well.in more civilised countries.
And perhaps you could supply the time machine for all.the people who had children they could.afford and then life meant they couldn't?

Xmas presents are not a necessity in life, end of.

The tax payer should not be subsidising tax breaks for rich people who don’t want to contribute to the society that makes them wealthy but would keep more of the benefits to themselves.

All of Society benefits when all children grow up with a good diet, health care, decent education, life experiences etc. If parents can’t afford to provide this under the current economic model there is something badly wrong. There is certainly enough money and resources.

Good diet, healthcare and education are very different to plastic toys for a made up holiday. The former are necessities, the latter is unnecessary nonsense.

Whether a gift is necessary to our wellbeing or not is a different question. No one ‘needs’ presents. But it is a societal norm/expectation in this country and at this time, and the shops, adverts, television shows, children’s books etc make a massive thing of it. You can’t just pretend that lots of children are not getting any gifts at Christmas and that your own children should be cool about getting nothing. Especially when gifts are linked with being ‘good’. So most parents will do their best to give their children something even if they have to do without other essentials or get into debt. This is wrong. And a few quid of taxpayer money would be well spent if it takes this pressure off - fairer and more dignified than leaving it to charities.