Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that Christmas is just a nightmare for a lot of people.

163 replies

MrsSlocombesCat · 21/12/2024 00:35

I have struggled this year to afford presents and as far as I am concerned Christmas is for children. I can’t be arsed with it all. I keep thinking about all of the people who can’t afford to buy presents for their kids and how it distressing it must be. I think parents on UC should get a decent bonus so they can buy presents for their kids. It really upsets me that there are children who might not get presents on the day. Everything is so expensive now that the cost of living crisis has caused. I thought life would be better under Labour but they’re doing nothing to help disabled people. I had never heard of a right wing government getting into people’s hearts and minds like they’re doing today. So many gullible people.

OP posts:
BashfulClam · 21/12/2024 00:39

You think the tax payer should be giving out bonuses for Christmas?

Topseyt123 · 21/12/2024 00:41

I just don't like Christmas much and plenty of times have struggled to afford it in the past no matter what government is in power.

I think it should be no more frequent than every leap year, but I'm rather a bah humbug!

user1492757084 · 21/12/2024 00:48

Yes, it is a nightmare.
There has never been so many people needing food help from charities.
Even more so with the poor management of a left wing government that can not rein in spending and slows the economy, taxes small businesses into closing etc. etc

CheeseyOnionPie · 21/12/2024 00:49

I’m sorry but you’re being quite unrealistic here. Sounds like you’re expecting a new government to have some sort of magic wand to improve life for everyone all at once? These things take time.

I do agree though that Christmas can feel awful when there is so much pressure to afford presents, special food, days out. There seems to be a lot more expected now than when I was a child.

kelsaycobbles · 21/12/2024 00:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Moier · 21/12/2024 00:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You know the OP hasn't got job?

Orangeandgold · 21/12/2024 01:07

I agree. It’s the huge push towards consumerism that’s so annoying about Christmas. And when it’s over, all of the other times throughout the year we are told to spend. Of course it’s a choice, but Christmas does feel like a huge pressure for families to deliver a nice day that the children can talk about when they return to school in January.

Im a strong believer that religious holidays should just be that - whoever wants to celebrate can. I wish gift giving was more about the thought rather than having the latest things. It’s expensive.

Topseyt123 · 21/12/2024 01:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OP didn't say she hadn't got a job. Where did you get that from?

Other than that, I agree with you on the rest.

Needanewname42 · 21/12/2024 01:13

Op totally agree it is a horrific pressure on parents especially if they are barely making end meet.
However i disagree that parents should get bonuses to buy gifts. Sorry. There needs to be incentives to get people out to work and completely off benefits. And if the incentive is providing a nice Christmas for your Kids then so bet it.

KeeKees · 21/12/2024 01:19

Not sure that would go down too well handing out UC bonuses for Christmas presents when people not on UC are struggling to feed their families and pay their bills.

MintyFreshest · 21/12/2024 01:21

Er big no to a benefit bonus at Xmas, that is NOT what benefits are for.

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 21/12/2024 01:22

Topseyt123 · 21/12/2024 00:41

I just don't like Christmas much and plenty of times have struggled to afford it in the past no matter what government is in power.

I think it should be no more frequent than every leap year, but I'm rather a bah humbug!

I'd be all on for that! Christmas every few years! As I approach my 62nd Christmas, all I can think is that I am so over it. My kids are all grown up, I don't have any DGC yet and it's not even on their radar, and I am fed up with the hassle and expense of it all. Personally I will be glad when the day is over. I just want to enjoy my time off work in peace.

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 21/12/2024 01:26

Orangeandgold · 21/12/2024 01:07

I agree. It’s the huge push towards consumerism that’s so annoying about Christmas. And when it’s over, all of the other times throughout the year we are told to spend. Of course it’s a choice, but Christmas does feel like a huge pressure for families to deliver a nice day that the children can talk about when they return to school in January.

Im a strong believer that religious holidays should just be that - whoever wants to celebrate can. I wish gift giving was more about the thought rather than having the latest things. It’s expensive.

You can cut gift giving right back. I have. I only buy for my adult children now. I will tip my hairdresser and the lady who does my nails.

It's a nonsense. Giving a gift of a roughly approximate value to the gift that they are going to give you. CBA.

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 21/12/2024 01:29

Needanewname42 · 21/12/2024 01:13

Op totally agree it is a horrific pressure on parents especially if they are barely making end meet.
However i disagree that parents should get bonuses to buy gifts. Sorry. There needs to be incentives to get people out to work and completely off benefits. And if the incentive is providing a nice Christmas for your Kids then so bet it.

Nope, I do not want to pay more taxes to pay bonuses to buy gifts.

I've worked my entire life to be able to have the money to buy gifts. While there are very genuine claimants of benefits, there's all too many that are career benefits claimants and why the hell should I fund them?!!

FluDog · 21/12/2024 02:21

Christmas is a nightmare for a lot of people. I'm not sure what you expect a relatively new government to do about it?

As a grown up it's hard to look back on the Christmases I had as a child as anything but incredibly difficult for DM who was a single mother to three of us.

There are charities who offer help and gifts to children who are in need. I hope the kids who need that help receive it.

RubyOrca · 21/12/2024 02:40

Day to day living is a nightmare for many people. Christmas can make people feel guilty, because it’s something that clearly highlights what you can’t afford for your family when you want to.

School is a nightmare for much the same reasons. And any sort of extra curricula activity (sport, music etc). And your kids being invited to an event you can’t fund. Frankly anything in day to day life that highlights for your children what they don’t have is a nightmare (especially for the parents).

It’s also a time that heightens experiences of loneliness and isolation, and is incredibly nightmareish for many adults for this reason.

It’s a time where family loss and emotions around that can be heightened too - coping without loved ones as a time that used to be about celebrating with them.

But Christmas isn’t the cause of any of these issues - it just puts a spotlight on them. Poor people who cannot afford food, housing, a smaller gift of something fun at Christmas aren’t better off if Christmas wasn’t happening. Likewise the bereaved would associate family with other times if there wasn’t Christmas (or they didn’t celebrate), and the lonely and isolated aren’t alone because of Christmas it’s just more noticeable because it is. In a community where Christmas wasn’t a major holiday all these things would just happen at a different time.

Major societal effort is needed to address inequality and poverty, mental health, loneliness etc. How you vote matters - but there are no quick fixes. If you want to make Christmas better for others - volunteer, reach out to people around you, change how you do Christmas so it’s less consumer based.

And if you’re struggling reach out. Call a help line. Phone a friend. Find a food kitchen. Accept charity and support from others.

RubyOrca · 21/12/2024 02:44

wigsonthegreenandhatsforthelifting · 21/12/2024 01:22

I'd be all on for that! Christmas every few years! As I approach my 62nd Christmas, all I can think is that I am so over it. My kids are all grown up, I don't have any DGC yet and it's not even on their radar, and I am fed up with the hassle and expense of it all. Personally I will be glad when the day is over. I just want to enjoy my time off work in peace.

So why don’t you just enjoy your day off work? You don’t have to “celebrate”. Politely decline offers for Christmas lunch or dinner. Let your family know you aren’t doing gifts etc and then don’t. Don’t accept gifts - and pop any that do come your way straight into the charity box unopened.

If you don’t want to do Christmas don’t. You can’t stop society doing Christmas any more than you can stop other people celebrating and doing a lot for a sporting event. But you can just not engage if you don’t want to.

Rubytuesday77 · 21/12/2024 03:33

BashfulClam · 21/12/2024 00:39

You think the tax payer should be giving out bonuses for Christmas?

The taxpayer pays out for lots of things less worthy.
In Ireland anyone receiving social sssistance gets double money at Christmas time to ease the cost of Christmas.

Rubytuesday77 · 21/12/2024 03:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

They give handouts to many countries, why not their own people.

WinterCrow · 21/12/2024 03:45

The PIP and Carers’ one-off Christmas bonus of £10 always makes me laugh (hollowly). I mean, why fucking bother? What I am supposed to do with that - eat like a king and enjoy proper heating for the twelve days of Christmas on an extra tenner? Give over.

I’d rather the government either kept the money and improved the claims process, or at least made the amount meaningful and increased it with inflation.

Lex345 · 21/12/2024 03:46

Christmas must be incredibly difficult for those solely on universal credit-sometimes it is only just enough to cover bills and basics; with Christmas being rammed down everyone's throats earlier and earlier and the narrative of naughty/nice for receiving presents for children, it carries an awful lot of guilt if you can't afford the latest tech/mountains of presents. We both work but are not high earners. A few years back I started sticking to a budget I could actually manage rather than trying to get the latest gadget/trends and being wiped out until at least the end of January. Mine are teens now so its a bit easier. We are happier and I always make sure we have quality family time playing games and laughing as much as possible.

That being said, there are some charities that will help with Christmas presents-which I know is hardly an ideal solution, but at least does help some families struggling.

marmia1234 · 21/12/2024 04:07

Not sure how any people are in your family but if you have say, 6 or more do Bad Santa with a max spend of 10 or 20. Ask everyone coming to bring one specific food item.
If you have little kids there seem to be a lot ot those " giving trees". Could you add your kids name to that?
Sorry for your situation

TruthThatsHardAsSteel · 21/12/2024 04:44

I just feel like Christmas has been totally sensationalised. People getting themselves into horrendous amounts of debt. You see it on here every day. Worrying that they haven't bought enough. Comparing present piles. Comparing financial spend. Terrible. I've been trying to get no presents rule for years. Everyone respects it apart from the hardest person to buy for in the world. It's ridiculous. It causes me months of stress and mostly the recipient is disappointed. Such a waste of money. I give to those in need at Christmas, that's my presents bought.

Happiestwhen · 21/12/2024 04:50

Yes I agree. It breaks my heart that there are kids who get nothing or maybe one small thing , they see all the other kids in their class getting big things and wonder why they haven't , and must wonder if it's because they are bad 😭 I think Christmas has been too ott for years now, we need to wind it back and let our kids see the real meaning of Christmas.

Happiestwhen · 21/12/2024 04:56

Needanewname42 · 21/12/2024 01:13

Op totally agree it is a horrific pressure on parents especially if they are barely making end meet.
However i disagree that parents should get bonuses to buy gifts. Sorry. There needs to be incentives to get people out to work and completely off benefits. And if the incentive is providing a nice Christmas for your Kids then so bet it.

Something to note - Most families on UC both actually work , just in low paid jobs.

Swipe left for the next trending thread