To not let my sister bring her own meat on Christmas day!

[FelizNavidadAmiga]

First off, we are a strictly vegan household for moral reasons. I invited my sister for Christmas lunch as she is recently divorced and has nowhere else to go. I usually put on a magnificent spread with roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc. My sister has just sent me a message saying she's going to bring her own chicken to cook. AIBU to say no way! I don't want chicken cooking in my nice clean vegan oven! Plus the smell makes me feel ill 🤢 I don't want to upset her as she's very sensitive at the moment but surely she can do without chicken for 1 day.

I think she should be allowed to bring it with her already cooked. Would she not cater to you if you were to go to hers? Catering to vegans when you’re not vegan is a huge pain in the ass.

Your meal sounds lovely OP.

I eat meat but I'd prefer your dinner.

I realise this is off topic so I apologise, but how does a full carnivore diet work? Do you have to take vitamin supplements?

Op, I'm not vegan. But I'd be very happy to have a vegan Christmas.

Enjoy your meal & stand your ground. You absolutely don't need to have meat in your house.

YANBU - your house, your rules and all that - but I have to say, when I was vegan (over 20 years ago, in fairness) I would have been really sad to miss out on a traditional Xmas lunch, just with nut roast instead of meat.

Falafel doesn't really feel very festive, in fairness.

What you've got planned is definitely a delicious ME spread. I live in Egypt, & it's 100% the absolutely banging veggie version of a celebratory meal.

No, it's not trad UK Xmassy, but that's fine - it's what your vegan household want to eat.

I would regretfully tell my sister that you can't accommodate her cooking or bringing chicken. She's welcome if she is happy to eat what's on offer, but if not it's fine for her to make other plans. Maybe she can go out for Xmas dinner & come over for breakfast, or for evening drinks?

I think it sounds absolutely delicious, OP! Can’t understand those who don’t think it sounds appealing or filling! Sounds yum!

Absolutely don’t let her cook a chicken in your oven. Or bring one, tbh. That’s pretty rude. Ask her what other vegan food she would like and provide that? Or she can bring that?

I think bringing cooked meat for her to eat is fine but cooking a chicken is too much.

Carnivore here but it's really disrespectful for her to even suggest this. We have pescatarian family members and would never do this at their house.

She’s probably given up a lot going through a divorce including the routines and rituals of her life. I can see why she is trying to cling onto something that is “her” Christmas tradition.

It isn’t fair to ask a vegan household to cook meat though.

Leftover turkey sandwiches have always been our Christmas supper. Perhaps you could suggest she cooks the chicken in advance so she can have sandwiches when she gets home.

You don’t need to compromise, but if you were inclined you could suggest she brings a couple of discreet pre-cooked slices for her own plate.

I would be sensitive but firm on this one.

Vegetarian of some decades here.

Hard no to anyone cooking or eating meat in my home.

I’d offer to meet her somewhere else another day if she prefers, but turning her nose up at your hospitality is a bit much.

On these threads it always polarises into ‘no meat in my home’ (like me) vs ‘she should be allowed to cook meat in your home, or at least eat it’. The two sides will never ever meet in the middle.

Other things I don’t allow in my home - snorting coke, smoking cigarettes, loud music at 2am, all things that other people allow in their homes. We are all different, but a different day and venue might be preferable to her.

It's Christmas day can she not eat what she likes? Perhaps suggest to her she cooks the chicken at home and brings it with her.

Can she bring the chicken if it's pre cooked?

But what if it’s was a hand reared chicken that the OP’s sister personally and humanly put to death, then slow roasted herself? We don’t know the ins and outs of the supposed chicken here. The op’s sister* may not be filled by the vegan non Christmas lunch on offer, what if she eats half of KFC to make up for it later? At least she’d have some proper gravy though. Can’t put that in a salad.

*Edit

Now you mention that, I’m not sure it would feel like a Christmas meal without roast potatoes and gravy. Both of which could, of course, be vegan.

Okay, I accept that you don’t want any animal in your kitchen to be cooked because that goes against your morals fair enough but I quite frankly at your menu probably would stay at home on my own and maybe your sister is thinking she doesn’t want your food in a polite way, but if that’s the way then maybe she’s just stay at home too on her own and have Christmas by herself which is fair enough.

What's more important to you? Your sister who is obviously having a really awful time, or a chicken which is already dead anyway

I think that is lovely you've invited her because christmas is all about family and especially if it's her first Christmas since her divorce, it'll be quite difficult for her i imagine.

However, i think you should let her bring her food of choice but say either she cooks it before she comes or brings her own air fryer etc it's not fair to use your appliances for meat.

My step mum is vegan and comes for Christmas, i always ask her what she would like me to make her as i wouldn't dream of trying to A. Force her to eat meat or B serving her something vegan that she doesn't like as my knowledge of vegan recipes is limited.

I think it's important at Christmas we are together and happy and if letting her eat meat in your home for one day when she's gone threw a divorce etc will make her feel more happy and comfortable then to me that would be all that mattered.

One of my close friends turned vegan and invited us to tea to try lots of vegan food she'd made. It wasn't to my personal taste at all and Christmas day I would like anyone in my home to eat what makes them happy. I would be disappointed and hungry with your menu, not because there's anything wrong with it, but it's not to my liking so I can understand your sister wanting to eat food she likes.

Oh my god OP don't listen to people saying your menu sounds unappetising - ESPECIALLY when this is part of your family's cultural heritage. Jesus.

I am a moral and quite recent (a few years) vegan. I let one of my semi-adult children cook meat at home and occasionally will help out if they are in a rush.

I will be cooking them a small meat dish on Xmas day - but it's because they're my child, quite sensitive, and I badly don't want them to feel sad and that their childhood Christmases are over.

There's no way I'd let an adult a. stomp on my menu - they wouldn't suggest cooking their own food in any other circs. 'I don't like your planned menu, I will bring my own dish' WTF??

b. cook their own thing at a busy and quite stressful moment
c. Cook meat when we are a primarily vegan household and they're not a child to whom I owe some empathy and care

I think you’re being a bit precious

Would you expect her to accommodate your dietary preferences if she invited you over? Or would you eat what she wanted to produce?

If the former then you should let her bring the chicken. I agree a compromise would be she brings it cooked though.

Sounds like a great choice of foods- I doubt she’d go hungry.

YANBU at all. What a silly woman she is. My 2 DC and their partners are vegans, and we always have vegan food when we go to their homes. I would never dream of saying I want to take a chicken to cook in their oven. LUDICROUS!

🤣🤣🤣🤣 and a roast chicken truly is the pinnacle of a magnificent feast!
like in what reality is beautiful tagine, falafel, vine leaves and hummus less of a feast than a £4 shitty roast chicken?

People who call your food boring and unappetising are plain rude. I actually will use some of your ideas for my lunch as I'm hosting vegetarians.

I think your sister is being unreasonable. She should have what's on the table and then she can eat whatever she wants when she gets home. However, if you think saying no will upset her just ask her to bring cooked chicken.