To not let my sister bring her own meat on Christmas day!

[FelizNavidadAmiga]

First off, we are a strictly vegan household for moral reasons. I invited my sister for Christmas lunch as she is recently divorced and has nowhere else to go. I usually put on a magnificent spread with roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc. My sister has just sent me a message saying she's going to bring her own chicken to cook. AIBU to say no way! I don't want chicken cooking in my nice clean vegan oven! Plus the smell makes me feel ill 🤢 I don't want to upset her as she's very sensitive at the moment but surely she can do without chicken for 1 day.

That's fine. But I assume if you were invited somewhere to a vegan household for a faux chicken roast and you didn't want to eat it, you'd decline/eat before rather than turn up with a leg of lamb. The OPs sister is rude and ignorant.

FWIW, carbon footprint of meat eating is FAR more taxing on the planet than veganism, processed or not processed.

Like what?

Its like saying I dont enjoy casserole, when there are countless casseroles, its a description of how the food is cooked

I'm mostly vegetarian and so wouldn't take actual meat. I'm also not keen on fake meat either though, for a variety of reasons - folk close enough to me to invite me know that anyway, and most veggie friends have some sort of vegetable/nut based roast with standard veggie accompaniments (just no dripping/goose fat etc). I wouldn't mind a meat eater quietly enjoying their turkey (or whatever) though.

Honestly, I'm not keen on most casseroles either.

I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t want a particular food in their house. Nobody is making the OP eat the meat. If it is pre cooked how does it affect her? Can she not be in the same room as meat? Does the OP also refuse to go to restaurants and cafes and other people’s houses if meat is being served there?

Personally I think it’s being a pretty poor host to forbid a guest from bringing something that will make their Christmas more enjoyable. She may as well just not invite the sister especially as it sounds like a begrudging invite anyway.

True, I hadn’t thought of it like that.

@ueberlin2030 and @CurlewKate

I think you're both like me- not perfect, spirit is willing but for somethings the flesh is just too weak, but can still do the best you can.

Not in my case I'm afraid

I know what the OP is offering is fine to most people but there's nothing there I would eat

Arguing with someone who isn’t participating in that particular argument is very odd. Entertaining to see you try to style it out though

Because meat, fish, dairy, eggs and honey are in so many foods. I feel like a vegan's no list would end up being longer than mine. Yes, there are vegan alternatives to a lot of things but they have to be specially, made, bought or ordered. I don't feel like the majority of foods are naturally vegan. But maybe I'm wrong.

There are plenty of vegan options though that would be similar to the traditional feast - I’m vegan and celebrate Yule and I manage it every year! She doesn’t need to bring a chicken.

No, but she wants to, its her christmas. A solely vegan meal isn't special for me, its my favourite day of the year and I want my favourite special foods. Why is it ok for OP to restrict what someone else eats, if its prepared elsewhere?

I think it's imposing your views on others and not reasonable. Most human beings are omnivores, many struggle to remain healthy without some animal produce. Christmas is a special day for many, not a day when most are happy to restrict what they eat.

In her own house.

I do think some of the frustration towards veganism is because it's a one-way street. They expect to be catered for but due to the nature of their objection expect others to adapt to their diet when visiting.

There's a denial that this diet is neither pleasant nor nutritious for others. There's the misplaced belief that anyone can adapt to being vegan.
There's an insistence that the vegan diet is rich and varied when a quick glance through a vegan cookbook reveals anything but (prevalence of curry and chili dishes and over-reliance on spice to compensate for lack of flavour).

And in some cases, there is rudeness when eating out with others who choose meat.

So yes it all makes vegans a bit hard to love.

BUT in this case I would enjoy the meal, personally, and find it far more appetising than most vegan food. The alternative nut roast suggestions sound horrendous to me, I have an allergy anyway.

In the past when I haven't been able to eat the food offered I've asked ahead of time if I can have a microwave baked potato to fill me up. You can always have a generous dessert spread to compensate, vegan desserts are far less of a compromise than mains!

I was gutted not to have a traditional Christmas meal planned one year as we were visiting relatives abroad so I just arranged to go out for a nice restaurant version a couple of weeks before.
If I was the sister I'd make my own or treat myself on another day here.

Have you never gone to a Turkish, Lebanese or Greek restaurant? The mezze on offer there are amongst my favourite things to eat, and many of them happen to be acceptable to vegans. Full of flavour, a wonderful range of colours and textures, some things warm, others cold or hot, lovely bread on the side. How anybody can say that food like that 'does not sound edible at all' is beyond me.

Also, 'I cannot imagine having Christmas without a roast'. Why not? It's not the law to have a roast dinner at Christmas. Plenty of British people with no ties to other parts of the world don't bother these days because they don't like it, can't afford it, prefer other things, don't have the cooking facilities or knowledge, etc etc, and the world doesn't end. For families with strong ties to other countries and non-Christian cultures of course they're going to eat food that ties in with that.

I do think some of the frustration towards veganism is because it's a one-way street. They expect to be catered for but due to the nature of their objection expect others to adapt to their diet when visiting.
There's a denial that this diet is neither pleasant nor nutritious for others. There's the misplaced belief that anyone can adapt to being vegan.

For me it is this. I can't eat a vegan diet, i end up in poor health, anaemia etc amd don't tolerate supplements well. I would always go out of my way to prepare something special for a visiting vegan etc,often buying things i don't usually, and have on several occasions prepared foodstuffs I really don't enjoy myself (i detest tofu for example, the texture makes me want to puke!) to suit a visitor.

Most of the vegans i know really are not quiet about it, they feel strongly about it, go on and on about it and nag others for choosing meat when we eat together. One friend sent a series of petulant messages on a WhatsApp group accompanied by a load of recipe links, every single one of which featured lentils & chilli.

Also, 'I cannot imagine having Christmas without a roast'. Why not? because its traditional, we love it, and we're allowed to feel differently to you.

I love meat, I enjoy the flavour and texture and it leaves me feeling full.

Wow. Was that at all necessary in any way or could we have all had this conversation without it?

You sound an absolute treat.

Whether this is unreasonably or not depends on whether you would expect her to provide a vegan option if the roles were reveresed and you were visiting her. If you would expect that, she should be allowed to bring meat.

Perhaps OP should stick a tiny violin in her sister’s stocking…

I agree. So many people that can't imagine anything other than an English roast. When you actually see pictures of said roast it tends to be a bit of overdone meat carved up badly, some roast potatoes and then a pile of boiled veg with gravy made from Bisto granules. Hardly a memorable feast.
OPs on the other hand sound amazing. Homemade veg tagine, falafel, home made houmous, stuffed vine leaves I can picture it now.
I wonder if a lot of the posters commenting on it not being much really know what a spread like this actually looks like. I think they are imagining a couple of pots of Tesco houmous and some Gosh falafel.

I didnt respond to your earlier post on quorn - but to me and my fellow meat eaters, it’s pretty repugnant, as many vegan meat substitutes are (or vegan ‘cheese’ for that matter). There’s probably vegan stuff sister would one - but it might involve having a conversation

I eat meat but DD is a veggie. I eat mostly her food now, for budgeting reasons. No skin of my nose. I wouldn't take a side of beef to a Hindu house, nor pork to a Muslim or Jewish house, because I respect their beliefs and dietary requirements.

She can cook herself a cheeseburger when she gets home, ffs.

As I've posted above, it is not the same. It wouldn't be going against someone's philosophical belief to take a vegan option to their home or for them to provide a vegan option, (which could be just ommiting the meat), unlike the other way around.

Then cook one. In your own home.

OP’s sister has a choice. That choice is to accept the invitation or turn it down. If she can’t imagine Christmas without a roast, she should turn it down, because she’s not being invited to come for a roast dinner.

Sorry to say but it's your choice of friends that is the problem @PerditaLaChien

I find the people who are not quiet about it are those who go on about eating seasonally, only eat meat from their friend's organic farm, don't eat anything that's travelled too many air miles and so on.
Not saying that is not important but the people who I have come across on MN that do this tend to be pretty nasty about vegans and want to cause trouble between meat eaters and non meat eaters.