To not let my sister bring her own meat on Christmas day!

[FelizNavidadAmiga]

First off, we are a strictly vegan household for moral reasons. I invited my sister for Christmas lunch as she is recently divorced and has nowhere else to go. I usually put on a magnificent spread with roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc. My sister has just sent me a message saying she's going to bring her own chicken to cook. AIBU to say no way! I don't want chicken cooking in my nice clean vegan oven! Plus the smell makes me feel ill 🤢 I don't want to upset her as she's very sensitive at the moment but surely she can do without chicken for 1 day.

She's unreasonable for wanting to bring chicken because, frankly, who the fuck eats chicken on Christmas Day!?

Yer spread sounds lovely.

I’m actually astounded that OP I doing in for so much criticism. If l was hosting a dinner party or a special meal for family l would be utterly insulted if someone asked to bring their own food to add to it. Regardless of whether you eat meat or not, it’s just rude.

Wow, it sounds as though you go to a huge amount of effort to make a wonderful spread for the day. I think given you are a no-meat household it is absolutely acceptable to state that non, she cannot bring meat to be cooked in your kitchen. It’s one meal for FFS, she can have some another day. Or just not come. It’s no less rude and insensitive than being a guest in a muslim household and insisting upon bringing a pork joint/ham (or bringing meat to a vegetarian Hindu home).

This! I spend Christmas every year just me, my sister, andy daughter (I host). We're all vegan and while we do eat out with non-vegans and at non-vegan people's houses throughout the year, personally we prefer Christmas without tables heaving with animals carcasses. There's an open invitation for other family members to come, but as they can't imagine Christmas without the carcasses and secretions, they choose not to - fair enough! We all have the Christmas we want and are still a happy, close family.

I’m vegetarian but I really wouldn’t want hummus for Christmas dinner.

Id compromise and let her bring an already cooked chicken which she can put in microwave if she wants (much easier to clean than oven).

To be fair we always did as a child, as turkey isn't the most appetising meat, and a chicken was the right size for us. I don't think it's that unusual. Chicken tasted better then and was more of a treat.

Perfectly reasonable to say no, especially to her her cooking it. If you want to try and keep the peace, would you be ok with her bringing some cooked chicken (either hot or cold) to eat (not heating at your house either)?

Yes, l know what morals are thanks. But what you and others seem not to understand is that in the context of the OP, the word was only used to convey the reasons for objecting to the chicken. I doubt OP discusses the morality of her choices on every occasion.

Your food sounds lovely, and your sister is extremely unreasonable to tell rather than ask about the chicken. Is she always a bit entitled? Have you hosted her before?

Well, I will hear NO more of that.

Ye shall eat dried up, tasteless turkey or nothing.

Well I'll be eatng my veggie options this year (and the meat eaters will be having beef/gammon).....🥂

What you are offering sounds lovely but It’s not very traditional vegan Christmas meal in my view. I would compromise and ask her to cook it beforehand, it can be reheated in a container in the microwave.

If this is a serious question or just a "gotcha", then removing a sheep's fleece doesn't kill the animal- indeed for many breeds it's essential.

So far as leather, unless you're buying snakeskin or allegator or similar where the living creature is specifically killed for its skin leather is a by product of animals killed for meat. I don't eat lamb, mutton or beef. I wear wool and leather.

YANBU. She is probably just being thoughtless, not deliberately difficult.

Suggest you say something like: Sorry DSis, as you know our household is vegan so having meat cooked or eaten in our home is not OK.

If she pushes it you should tell her that the smell makes you feel physically unwell.

Is there a vegan version of a pudding she loves that you can make? Or buy? That might help her get over the lack of chicken!

PS I love stuffed vine leaves. Do you have a recipe you'd be happy to share?

I didn't mention sheep, because I don't feel that shearing sheep is cruel - in fact it's necessary. I was thinking more of products such as leather. PP mentioned wool when replying to my post.
I don't eat sheep or cows either, and also don't object to wool or leather, but I also don't object to someone eating meat in my home/next to me.
I just wonder where these supposedly more moral folk draw the line.

Alas, OP not letting her relative eat (part of) one chicken in her house won't really make much difference in the grand scheme of things.

Surely it’s the individual striving to make the difference that’s important here. Stands back and awaits the inane but predictable response of laughing emoji………….

I don’t understand omnivores who ‘agree’ with veganism but keep eating animal products-it makes no sense to me

I can't imagine why she'd want to eat chicken in a vegan house, with all the likely judgement! My exh turned vegetarian suddenly and without warning eight years into our marriage, and it really put a dampener on any meat-eating when we went out. Anyway, normally this would be a deal-breaker from any other guest, but she's your sister. Let her bring her chicken. If you can't do weird things like bring-your-own chicken with family, who can you?! It would be best if she cooked it at home and heated it up at yours. Then she can have some slices of chicken with the vegan feast. Maybe she's worried she won't feel full.

Most of my family are dead, so I have a different perspective than some on not letting these things get in the way of family relationships. I wish my family was here to do weird stuff like bringing their own chicken.

Your food sounds beautiful.

If sis hankers for some traditional British Christmas elements, can you have a Christmas pudding? (I'm not sure if they're vegan or not.)

Not agreeing with the veganism but the principle of the right to make that choice for moral/ethical reasons

They're agreeing on a definition, not that they feel that way.

Her relative eating the meat makes no difference to OPs 'morals' or 'conscience', because OP still hasn't eaten any meat.

This. This thread is a beat up drama, I'm sure OPs sister will look for any alternative for next year. Why can't people accommodate other's differences.

I’m an omnivore who tried a vegan diet but it made me unwell - apparently I don’t absorb B12 well from supplements, plus I have some other dietary restrictions meaning some vegan protein is quite difficult. So I’ve gone back to eating meat / fish, although I’d say about 75% of my food is still plant-based.

(That’s not saying people in general can’t be healthy on a vegan diet - just that I personally wasn’t.)

They’re agreeing with ‘that veganism is a moral choice, and the correct one’

The so-called 'Spirit of Christmas' seems to be sadly missing on this thread, highlighted by the horrible attitude of many posters, saying that that the 'guest' should be grateful to be invited regardless of whether or not she likes the food on offer, and should either suck it up or FO.

If the hosts have that same attitude, then I'm sure that the guest will be far happier staying away, as the company will certainly not be welcoming enough to make up for a meal that isn't to her taste.