Page 18 | To not let my sister bring her own meat on Christmas day!

FelizNavidadAmiga · 2024-12-20T21:33:11+00:00

First off, we are a strictly vegan household for moral reasons. I invited my sister for Christmas lunch as she is recently divorced and has nowhere else to go. I usually put on a magnificent spread with roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc. My sister has just sent me a message saying she's going to bring her own chicken to cook. AIBU to say no way! I don't want chicken cooking in my nice clean vegan oven! Plus the smell makes me feel ill 🤢 I don't want to upset her as she's very sensitive at the moment but surely she can do without chicken for 1 day.

Simonjt · 21/12/2024 06:47

ElinAlma · 20/12/2024 21:36

Not unreasonable to say no.
But unreasonable to call this food: roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc, a magnificent spread.

That's very bog standard food and not anything magnificent for a festive meal.

Edited

A roast dinner is very bog standard, does anyone actually see a roast dinner as magnificent?

Pleasestopthebunfight · 21/12/2024 06:51

I think knowing you are vegan, accepting an invitation to eat with you, should also mean accepting that the meal will be vegan.

The menu you described sounds absolutely delicious to me - I would just gently point out that as a vegan household you’d rather she didn’t cook chicken and you hope she will enjoy the menu you’ve planned.

i hope this works out and you all have a lovely Christmas x

IdylicDay · 21/12/2024 06:53

Sorry but that food does not sound edible at all, it sounds very depressing. I cannot imagine having Christmas without a roast. I'd decline the invite if I knew that was on offer. I think your sister is being unreasonable wanting to cook it in your home though. Surely she could cook it at her house and bring some cooked cold chicken cuts in tupperware or something.

FeegleFrenzy · 21/12/2024 06:56

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to not want a chicken roasting in your oven. If nothing else surely your oven will be full to capacity?

as a compromise could she cook the chicken at home, bring some sliced chicken and reheat it in the microwave? The smell won’t be as bad.

Simonjt · 21/12/2024 06:57

miniaturepixieonacid · 21/12/2024 01:34

I don't hate Vegans at all. In fact, I wish I could be one. But it does annoy me that everyone accepts and caters for that specific type of extreme fussiness whereas other types of extreme fussiness get eye rolls, judgement, ridicule and even disgust.

I have an embarrassingly limited diet due to issues with taste, texture and calories. I 'can't' eat spices, tomato, onion, red meat, aubergine, nuts, sauces, chocolate, cream, avocado, banana, bread, cheese, shellfish and probably a hundred other things. But I'm still not as limited as a vegan. Yet I avoid eating at people's houses because I'm so ashamed whereas vegans are free to go and everyone just caters for them. I personally don't think their 'can't' for meat and dairy products is any less difficult than my 'can't' for other things. Just my issues are physical and mental rather than ethical, they're somehow seen as pathetic.

I do feel safe in family members houses though. I know I can bring and eat what I am happy with and won't be made to feel bad. So I think your sister has the right to feel that too. Family members aren't guests, they should feel at home. I think she is wrong to want to cook meat at your house but that she should be able to bring her own food if she doesn't like yours.

We’re dairy free vegetarians, the only things we don’t eat are meat, dairy, certain nuts (allergy) and kiwi (allergy), we do eat eggs, but only from our own pet chickens. So we have a much more varied and flexible diet than you.

How is a vegans diet more limited than yours, when they can eat a wider variety of food?

Joystir59 · 21/12/2024 07:00

ElinAlma · 20/12/2024 21:36

Not unreasonable to say no.
But unreasonable to call this food: roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc, a magnificent spread.

That's very bog standard food and not anything magnificent for a festive meal.

Edited

Rude!!! This food sounds absolutely delicious!

Simonjt · 21/12/2024 07:01

IdylicDay · 21/12/2024 06:53

Sorry but that food does not sound edible at all, it sounds very depressing. I cannot imagine having Christmas without a roast. I'd decline the invite if I knew that was on offer. I think your sister is being unreasonable wanting to cook it in your home though. Surely she could cook it at her house and bring some cooked cold chicken cuts in tupperware or something.

So your christmas roast doesn’t contain any roast vegetables as you think they’re not edible? You also never eaten tagin, humus, falafel or a pepper because they’re all inedible, you must have a very limited diet. I take it your christmas dinner then is just meat, stuffing, brussels and a non-roasted variety of potato as roast vegetables in your view don’t sound edible.

FeegleFrenzy · 21/12/2024 07:03

OP, could you do a nut roast? It’s a bit more “mainstream” meat alternative for a roast dinner than stuffed vine leaves and tagine? I get your dh is Middle Eastern and it’s the sort of cuisine you are used to but she won’t be used to it. I wonder if the menu is hard for her not just because it’s meat free but also because it’s so far removed from a Xmas dinner? Yes, she’s a guest and should eat what she’s offered but she’s also gone through a tough time recently by the sounds of it and may feel out of control in a lot of aspects of her life and this might just be one more thing.

dh is vegetarian and I always do a great home made nut roast at Xmas. Some years i haven’t bothered with meat myself and just eaten the nut roast as it’s so nice. It can be easily done the day before.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 21/12/2024 07:03

I 'can't' eat spices, tomato, onion, red meat, aubergine, nuts, sauces, chocolate, cream, avocado, banana, bread, cheese, shellfish and probably a hundred other things. But I'm still not as limited as a vegan.

I'm not vegan but cook a lot of vegan food. Your diet is far more limited.

ueberlin2030 · 21/12/2024 07:05

grinchalicious · 21/12/2024 06:06

This.

It's one day, and you've been kind enough to invite your sister because she's recently divorced. The right and polite thing to do would be to accept the food that's on offer.

I've also just posted about Quorn - that's a good alternative she could bring on the day.

Show quote history

Quorn is nothing like chicken.
Even as a mostly veggie person I avoid the stuff.

TimeForATerf · 21/12/2024 07:12

I wouldn’t fancy your spread but if I was alone and you had been kind enough to invite me I would go with the flow and be grateful, she is rude. No way would I expect to cook a chicken in a vegan home.

my chicken would saved until Boxing Day when I’d do my own Christmas dinner.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 21/12/2024 07:16

DreamTheMoors · 21/12/2024 03:09

I’m not picky. I’ll eat anything and happily clean up afterwards.
I have noticed, however, in almost every thread about accommodating a vegan at one’s home, the host must go out of their way to provide vegan dishes for their vegan guest.

So why shouldn’t the meat-eating guest also be accommodated? Why is this guest any lesser?
It seems to me like one side of this equation expects all the indulging and obliging but is unwilling to return the favour when the shoe’s on the other foot.

It seems highly unbalanced from someone who sits on the outside looking in.

Your question has been answered many times. The 2 issues aren't comparable.

GRex · 21/12/2024 07:21

ueberlin2030 · 21/12/2024 07:05

Quorn is nothing like chicken.
Even as a mostly veggie person I avoid the stuff.

Show quote history

I think the person was just suggesting it because OP has so little protein in the meal and it's meat that the sister asked to bring. Vegan quorn is awful, and presumably OP wouldn't allow the vegetarian options due to containing egg; the Beyond burger is nice that someone suggested though. OP feels strongly that offering up houmous, falafel and veg is enough, so the issue is more willingness rather than options. If she wanted to offer options there are lots of soy additions like TVP that can be made up into nice dishes, as well as beans and nuts, without needing to grab a ready meal.

redboxer321 · 21/12/2024 07:22

You are definitely not the one being unreasonable here @FelizNavidadAmiga It's 100% your sister.
And anyone criticising your menu is just vegan bashing. It looks absolutely delicious!

Yalta · 21/12/2024 07:22

I think you missed a quick reply of “Not in my house”

I cannot stand the smell of meat. I associate the smell with old people’s homes and hospitals. (Bacon/pork I associate with rotting bodies) It makes me want to vomit

I think a discussion about the food you will be serving and if it is not going to be to her liking then maybe she eats at home.

Could you get a vegan alternative to chicken (Maybe one of those pseudo turkey crowns) in a nod to her wanting something that looks like meat

ueberlin2030 · 21/12/2024 07:24

GRex · 21/12/2024 07:21

I think the person was just suggesting it because OP has so little protein in the meal and it's meat that the sister asked to bring. Vegan quorn is awful, and presumably OP wouldn't allow the vegetarian options due to containing egg; the Beyond burger is nice that someone suggested though. OP feels strongly that offering up houmous, falafel and veg is enough, so the issue is more willingness rather than options. If she wanted to offer options there are lots of soy additions like TVP that can be made up into nice dishes, as well as beans and nuts, without needing to grab a ready meal.

Show quote history

She needs to just let her sister bring some (ideally pre-prepared) meat. She doesn't have to eat or touch it.

ueberlin2030 · 21/12/2024 07:25

Yalta · 21/12/2024 07:22

I think you missed a quick reply of “Not in my house”

I cannot stand the smell of meat. I associate the smell with old people’s homes and hospitals. (Bacon/pork I associate with rotting bodies) It makes me want to vomit

I think a discussion about the food you will be serving and if it is not going to be to her liking then maybe she eats at home.

Could you get a vegan alternative to chicken (Maybe one of those pseudo turkey crowns) in a nod to her wanting something that looks like meat

Pseudo meat is not meat, and tastes pretty rank.

DisforDarkChocolate · 21/12/2024 07:25

Well I think your meal does sound magnificent.

Your sister is being very rude, she can make herself a chicken meal for supper when she gets home.

StampOnTheGround · 21/12/2024 07:26

I would suggest if she really wants to bring some that she's cooked it already at hers, as I do think it was unreasonable to suggest cooking the chicken at yours.

However, I wouldn't want to eat the meal you're planning on having, I'd like to add meat to it.

My MIL is a vegan but actually cooks us meat when we go round for an occasion - different people!

Yalta · 21/12/2024 07:27

Some do and some don’t

I quite enjoy a burger on occasion.

crockofshite · 21/12/2024 07:35

ElinAlma · 20/12/2024 21:36

Not unreasonable to say no.
But unreasonable to call this food: roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc, a magnificent spread.

That's very bog standard food and not anything magnificent for a festive meal.

Edited

There's nothing particularly 'magnificent' about a piece of chicken.

And the OP food sounds great.

echt · 21/12/2024 07:36

IdylicDay · 21/12/2024 06:53

Sorry but that food does not sound edible at all, it sounds very depressing. I cannot imagine having Christmas without a roast. I'd decline the invite if I knew that was on offer. I think your sister is being unreasonable wanting to cook it in your home though. Surely she could cook it at her house and bring some cooked cold chicken cuts in tupperware or something.

You're missing the point.

The OP is ethically/morally opposed to meat in any form.
The deliciousness of other meal is beside the point.

Read the OP's OP.

SharpOpalNewt · 21/12/2024 07:36

GRex · 21/12/2024 07:21

I think the person was just suggesting it because OP has so little protein in the meal and it's meat that the sister asked to bring. Vegan quorn is awful, and presumably OP wouldn't allow the vegetarian options due to containing egg; the Beyond burger is nice that someone suggested though. OP feels strongly that offering up houmous, falafel and veg is enough, so the issue is more willingness rather than options. If she wanted to offer options there are lots of soy additions like TVP that can be made up into nice dishes, as well as beans and nuts, without needing to grab a ready meal.

Show quote history

If there are pulses involved there will be a fair bit of protein. In any event, there is no need to fret about the nutrients in a Christmas meal.

ChangeTheProphecy · 21/12/2024 07:37

I’m a meat eater and I love Christmas lunch and would be slightly disappointed not to have my normal spread, however I also think your menu sounds lovely. Tell your sis to put up with it for the day, Christmas is about family/friends not just the food. If she refuses then ask her to come after she’s eaten.

schtompy · 21/12/2024 07:39

I’ve been a veggie but eat meat now. I’d let her bring already cooked chicken to add to her plate, and just ask her to wash the plate afterwards if you can’t face it, keep the peace. When you’re lying on yr death bed you don’t want to think damn I fell out with her over food do you..or. Do you?