To not let my sister bring her own meat on Christmas day!

[FelizNavidadAmiga]

First off, we are a strictly vegan household for moral reasons. I invited my sister for Christmas lunch as she is recently divorced and has nowhere else to go. I usually put on a magnificent spread with roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc. My sister has just sent me a message saying she's going to bring her own chicken to cook. AIBU to say no way! I don't want chicken cooking in my nice clean vegan oven! Plus the smell makes me feel ill 🤢 I don't want to upset her as she's very sensitive at the moment but surely she can do without chicken for 1 day.

You are not being unreasonable OP.

I can understand though that for some carnivores they may feel very disappointed by a vegan spread. Essentially though they don't have to come if they don't want to.

You show a lack of empathy for other people's choices.

A Hindu wouldn't allow beef in their home, a Muslim or jew wouldn't allow pork, and a vegetarian or vegan wouldn't allow meat. All perfectly reasonable.

OP is absolutely allowed to disallow anything she doesn't want in her home. Sister is showing huge disrespect.

Please carve out time for yourself to cook what you want to it. The other family members should stop being so selfish and use all your time for their needs. It's your Christmas too.

My first thoughts were no your not being unreasonable she is, however I do have my sons girlfriend coming for Christmas Day who happens to be Muslim. We are having our main turkey crown which will be covered in bacon and then I will do a smaller piece of non covered in bacon turkey for her.
As a host think trying to accommodate everyone is important.
At the very least offer quorn nuggets of something?

Yes , she can go without meat for one day, but your comment about being vegan for “moral” reasons is insufferable.

Perhaps it's just factual.

I think she is being unreasonable to expect to cook her chicken in your oven . I wouldn’t mind her bringing her own cooked chicken though as a vegetarian . It’s a balance between your principles and making your guest feel welcome

I don't think the guest is a carnivore, she's most likely an omnivore.

I am not vegan or vegetarian but I would say no to this. However I would offer to add to/alter the menu with something else vegan as clearly it’s not to her taste.

I’ve read the OP. Her two objections that she has written is a chicken cooking in her oven and the smell of the chicken cooking.

bringing slices of pre cooked chicken would solve both those issues.

now it might be that the OP also can’t bear to see meat on someone else’s plate……but she hasn’t said that. I had a vegetarian (ex) friend who was like that. If I ordered a bacon butty in a cafe the face pulling would start. Where vegetarian dh would (fairly) happily cook me a bacon butty if I asked him to, as long as he didn’t have to eat it. I’ve no idea where the OP sits in that range of dislike for meat.

if she’s more like my ex friend then yes even the pre cooked chicken slices may not work.

Don't be ridiculous. It sounds lovely, add bread and plonk and it's perfect.

BIL is veggie and always creates a delicious meal, his seasonings make up for the lack of meat.

It's not factual.

As a vegetarian forever, I always have a 'nut roast' centrepiece with the rest of the meal being classic 'Christmas lunch' fair. But people like different food, and the OP's menu sounds lovely.

Many years ago my daughter had a boyfriend who insisted that, for health reasons, he had to have meat. Wanting to make him feel at home (he came from a different country) I went out of my way to cook meat, fish, and whatever he wanted. It was horrible! The problem is, however careful one is with food prep, splatter happens! I cannot rest if I think there are bits of corpses lurking in my kitchen, so after every meal I had to do a demolition and cleaning job that would put an operating theatre to shame!

Don't do it OP - don't do it!

This has been covered a few times. You may think it looks delicious, but it is very limited as well as quite light and bland. It's ok, but isn't a feast. There are plenty of nice vegan options, the issue is the actual food selected.

I wouldn't be allowing vegans in to my home if they were so inflexible

Your menu however delicious is not close to a traditional Christmas so I'm guessing that is in part the problem?... Maybe you could make a roast (nut roast, stuffed butternut that kind of thing) with all the trimmings? Not unreasonable to refuse meat in your house though!

Ok

Vegan diets are inherently highly restrictive especially when you live in a cultural context where animal products and by-products are the norm.

Frankly it comes across as silly to suggest they aren’t. When you’ve needing to carefully read every label, phone restaurants in advance to make sure there’s something you can eat, check websites to work out if the dish advertised as vegan is strict vegan. This is highly restrictive.

You absolutely are cutting food out when you switch from an omnivorous diet (the norm in UK, Europe, US and many other places) to a vegan diet. I really don’t get how you can claim you aren’t. Sure you might add stuff in, but you definitely remove a LOT of options.

There are stricter and less strict versions of being vegan (some won’t eat fruits where pollination by bees has occurred as one example) - but even the more relaxed versions are still a very restrictive diet.

I’m not suggesting that it’s unhealthy or unsafe sort of restrictive. But it is restrictive, and it isn’t the easiest thing to cater well for vegan guests when you yourself aren’t vegan.

I'm also a vegan, and while your food sounds very nice (although 'magnificent spread' is over-egging the pudding a bit, excuse the non-vegan pun) it does not sound like a Christmas dinner! Out of interest, why don't you do a traditional roast, just without the meat?

Your house, your rules, obviously, but I'd always be more than happy for people to bring their own meat if they wanted to- I'm cooking pork for my wife and FIL on Christmas Day.

YANBU.
Sounds yum, not exactly festive, but yum regardless!

What a horrible comment. If OP doesn’t want to eat meat she’s entitled to state her reasons - she’s not forcing her views on anyone, she’s just sticking to her principles.

Hahaha no.

My vegan "lifestyle choice" involves no-one bringing meat, milk, cheese etc into my home. I do not expect to be "catered for" though I usually am because my friends and family are nice. But it's not a two-way, you let me eat vegetables in your house so I let you eat meat in mine. My life excludes meat, theirs does not exclude vegetables and grains.

Fucking sad when people can't go one day without eating dead flesh. But if the sis really can't manage, she can "eat what she pleases" in her own home.

Even saddee when people can't resist imposing their belief system on others.

As a guest, it would be extremely rude to opine on how "feast-like" the spread your host has provided for you is. Personally I would feel much more festive eating a delicious tagine by an excellent cook than a mediocre, bog-standard meat roast (and there's nothing festive about bloody turkey).

Whenever I'm invited to eat at someone else's house I'm just grateful they're taking the time and money to cook for me. If what they cooked was really so dreadful I'd make my excuses and turn down the next invitation - not bring my own food!

All of the above applies regardless of vegan/omnivore debates too.

@RubyOrca so dramatic. I am vegan, DH is vegan and our kids are since birth. You learn to scan the labels in ten seconds flat. If you eat real food cooked from scratch that doesn't come up much anyway. I'm not against trash food for fun but especially in the UK these days that hardly limits options. I can't remember the last time I "phoned a restaurant in advance." Happycow and other apps make this unnecessary. Your pollination bollocks is a very rare attitude. It's just not that bloody difficult. Fine if you don't want to do it, who's asking you, foolish to waffle on about a lifestyle you don't live and clearly have very little idea about.