To not let my sister bring her own meat on Christmas day!

[FelizNavidadAmiga]

First off, we are a strictly vegan household for moral reasons. I invited my sister for Christmas lunch as she is recently divorced and has nowhere else to go. I usually put on a magnificent spread with roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc. My sister has just sent me a message saying she's going to bring her own chicken to cook. AIBU to say no way! I don't want chicken cooking in my nice clean vegan oven! Plus the smell makes me feel ill 🤢 I don't want to upset her as she's very sensitive at the moment but surely she can do without chicken for 1 day.

Jesus fuckibg Christ.

Not the same thing.

Meat eaters eat plant based foods and do not object to them morally. Catering for a vegan is only an inconvenience, not a grave ethical insult.

Sorry but I would want turkey with my Christmas dinner. Try telling my autistic kids their Christmas dinner will be different this year because we're having Christmas dinner in a vegan household. I just wouldn't go so YABU. No reason why she can't cook it before going to yours.

She has two choices - go or don’t go. There is no option three where OP’s sister gets to pick the menu.

Oh FFS. An adult can decide what happens in their own home. The OP’s sister has two options - yes or no.

But you’ve said yourself, you “just wouldn’t go”. That’s your right. Why do you think you can choose the menu?

Eh? I wasn't denying I eat meat. The point is vegetarian and vegan cookery is cookery in its own right. It's not faffing around trying to make fake versions of animal protein.

It's up to you but personally It seems quite strange she wants to cook it at yours, fine if she brings some meat already cooked though.

What if she invited you to dinner and provided no vegan options? Would it be her moral right to do so?

It seems rather militant, I'd still come though if there is a space that your sister can't fill..? Anything to avoid cooking Christmas Day 🙂

Someone made a good point earlier. If a vegan comes to my house to eat, I have to find a recipe, source ingredients and cook something to suit them. But if I go to a vegans's house i have to lump it and eat whatever they see fit. How is that fair?

It's not a good point at all, and nor is it original. Meat eaters already eat plant based food and have no objections to it.

Nobody has to eat anything, but vegans - who object to the farming and killing of animals for ethics and environmental reasons - don't have to do something that goes against their actual conscience just because a meat eater wants to make a point.

I don't hate Vegans at all. In fact, I wish I could be one. But it does annoy me that everyone accepts and caters for that specific type of extreme fussiness whereas other types of extreme fussiness get eye rolls, judgement, ridicule and even disgust.

I have an embarrassingly limited diet due to issues with taste, texture and calories. I 'can't' eat spices, tomato, onion, red meat, aubergine, nuts, sauces, chocolate, cream, avocado, banana, bread, cheese, shellfish and probably a hundred other things. But I'm still not as limited as a vegan. Yet I avoid eating at people's houses because I'm so ashamed whereas vegans are free to go and everyone just caters for them. I personally don't think their 'can't' for meat and dairy products is any less difficult than my 'can't' for other things. Just my issues are physical and mental rather than ethical, they're somehow seen as pathetic.

I do feel safe in family members houses though. I know I can bring and eat what I am happy with and won't be made to feel bad. So I think your sister has the right to feel that too. Family members aren't guests, they should feel at home. I think she is wrong to want to cook meat at your house but that she should be able to bring her own food if she doesn't like yours.

But a piece of chicken is?

There's nothing about the individual components of a traditional Christmas roast that really screams 'magnificent' ‐it's all about association and presentation.

OP, your spread sounds gorgeous. People are weird about tradition and expectation, forgetting what is really magnificent is spending time with people we care about.

Reducing veganism to "extreme fussiness" is rude and judgmental as hell.

No, your sensory preferences are not equivalent to a matter of conscience.

What makes you think that vegans are not ashamed? You have no idea how vegans feel or are treated.

If you'd read the post, it is the non-vegan sister making a (very unreasonable) demand to cook raw chicken in the vegan sister's oven.

I guess you don't empathise with vegans being disgusted by carcasses despite your own "physical and mental" food needs.

As numerous people have already explained, many non-vegans will cater to vegan guests because they already eat non-meat foods, and don't believe that all vegetables, mushrooms and plants are unethical to produce and consume. If you genuinely believed it was unethical to eat all plants, as bonkers as that would be, a lot of vegans would respect that belief and simply decline the invitation to an animal-only meal. However, that belief isn't one I've ever heard anyone actually advocating before, so I don't imagine it's too common a problem. Asking someone to abide an action they feel is unquestionably immoral is different than asking someone if they're happy to provide a perfectly inoffensive vegan dish. Even if they said no, rather than complain about it every vegan I know would be more than happy to say "okay, I'll probably skip that one then. Shall we meet up another time?"

I'm omnivorous, but I fully respect the ethical decisions of others. Especially if those others are my friends and family.

YANBU at all. If you’re a vegan household there is nothing wrong with not wanting meat in your oven, fridge or anywhere else. Your menu sounds amazing!

I was always taught that the polite thing to do was cater to the tastes of your guests??

I am a weirdo who doesn't eat veg other than potatoes or carrots.

I suppose I could have roasties, mash and carrot in your gaffe if allowed.

Probably brighter than you tbh. And much nicer.

Really? Why?

But it is. It's an extreme aversion, fear of and/or ability to eat a huge proportion of food. Just like my food issues are. I am absolutely empathetic of vegans. But I hate that their food limitations are accepted whereas mine are seen as pathetic. It's not vegans who are the issue, it's other people's judgement of other eating issues/disorders.

So many people on this thread have said that 'everyone' can eat falafel and tagine so it's a non issue. I can't. I'd have a panic attack and probably throw up. A vegan would probably have a panic attack and throw up if they had to eat meat. But they would catered for and I wouldn't. Because eating disorders are seen as a 'choice' and veganism as a moral stance. In reality, there is far more 'choice' involved in veganism than there is in most food issues. So I almost never go out where food is involved. But a family member's house should be different. Every food preference should be accepted there.