To not let my sister bring her own meat on Christmas day!

[FelizNavidadAmiga]

First off, we are a strictly vegan household for moral reasons. I invited my sister for Christmas lunch as she is recently divorced and has nowhere else to go. I usually put on a magnificent spread with roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc. My sister has just sent me a message saying she's going to bring her own chicken to cook. AIBU to say no way! I don't want chicken cooking in my nice clean vegan oven! Plus the smell makes me feel ill 🤢 I don't want to upset her as she's very sensitive at the moment but surely she can do without chicken for 1 day.

I’m a confirmed meat-eater, but even I think you are definitely NBU. Your festive spread sounds lovely. If you invited me into your vegan home, I would never dream of bringing meat with me.

Not unreasonable about the meat, but the food doesn’t sound festive at all, just like bland starters options. Could you change the menu? Still lots of time left to get something more festive to cook. Your comment she has nowhere else to go sounds unkind, she’s your sister, you should have each other.

Surely you can be reasonable, loving, supportive and understanding for one day.

Yanbu at all. It’s your house and you’re entitled to not want meat in it, especially not to be cooked in your kitchen. I eat meat but would never dream of taking meat to a vegan/vegetarian household, even on Christmas Day.
Just say “I’m afraid I can’t let you bring meat into the house, please would you eat it before you get here or once you’re home, but I can assure you that the lunch will be delicious!”.

Surely the sister who is being hosted can go without meat for one day?

Sound like op is already being loving and supportive towards her sister at this difficult time.

My SIL doesn't eat pork for religious and cultural reasons. I wouldn't dream of taking pork to cook in her house - why would I? It's just plain rude, and unnecessary to boot. Almost as if she's trying to make a point maybe? Sounds like she's had a tough year, but nonetheless, it isn't an excuse for rudeness.

If you were being particularly generous of spirit, you could potentially let her bring some pre-cooked chicken, but there's no obligation to allow it.

So what if the roles were reversed.

Would you expect a vegan guest to be catered for?

People saying 'it's not very festive' are being quite rude about other people's cultural cuisines that they might eat during the holiday period. If you are in a mixed culture relationship, it's normal to not have a turkey roast dinner but to eat different things, stuffed peppers and tagine aren't 'everyday' dinners for most people anyway, so why are people making out they are very usual compared with a turkey or chicken (the most boring of meats)! You can pretty easily have a vegan roast dinner though if you want one, do nut roast, vegan gravy, roast everything in oil, lots of herbs, it's one of the easier and nicest vegan meals.

Meat eaters also eat plant based food.

When they start finding apples or chips morally offensive, you could have a point.

There are very few many rude meat eaters, vegans and vegetarians on this thread. Grow up!

This seems a sensible and above all pleasant approach

But OPs sister wants a chicken. So clearly the alternative is to offer mock chicken not a falafel? Nobody said OP can’t have her dinner. Just offer a mock turkey as well? Seems like a simple solution. People are used to a roast dinner on Christmas Day. So OP can have her feast and stick a mock turkey on it too. Problem solved. If the sister doesn’t like the compromise then she shouldn’t come.

If someone came to visit my house and wanted a sausage butty they would be offered a Richmond vegan sausage butty. Fair compromise imo.

I'm not strictly vegan or vegetarian (although I'm very picky about where I buy meat and never buy pork, chicken, farmed salmon, lobster, crab or turkey

Not sure why this part of your post was relevant to be honest. You still eat meat however you want to dress it up.

I personally like all the food you've listed op, and I was vegetarian for many years. I personally wouldn't expect to cook meat at a vegans house but equally I would have had zero issue with someone bringing their own pre cooked meat if they wanted it to accompany their own meal. I think Christmas Dinner tends to have emotional/nostalgic connections for many people. I love everything you've listed there but personally I wouldn't want to eat it on Christmas day because it wouldn't be anything like my traditional Christmas Dinner and I would miss that. So maybe that's the bit she's missing? Would you consider maybe mash/veg/gravy for example if that's what she's used to?

I think it's up to you really how much its going to bother you, at the end of the day you're opening your home to her so your house your rules.

Baileys Almande | Baileys ROW

Could she cook and prepare it before she comes, bring in a lunch box? Then it literally goes straight on her plate. I’m vegetarian and that wouldn’t worry me.

This abomination is nothing like Baileys!

OP I wouldn't dream of asking to cook a chicken but I would politely decline your invitation. I'm sure it's delicious but it would make me ill.

I couldn't eat any of that. I'd stay at home with my chicken.

Wouldn't bother me as long as she brought it cooked.

I'm not a big food person- but believe you need to be happy with what you do eat.

I'd accommodate other dietary requests too.

Hard eye roll at all the people commenting on OP's choice of food. I think it sounds like a great fit for a celebration but if you think it sounds like trash why are you bothering your asses to go out of your way to comment and be rude about it? Nobody is suggesting that YOU eat a vegetable ffs.

Also lol at the "just get her fake chicken" - no, somebody who wants to roast a chicken is NOT going to want fake meat.

I eat mostly veggie actually but do not enjoy ME food at all because it makes me feel unwell.

Yes - I agree with this.

It’s your house. Your sister has two options - come and eat the food you’re serving, or stay at home. She doesn’t get a third option where she gets to choose the menu in someone else’s house.

You sound like a lovely and generous host.

Why? Can’t she just accept that she is the guest?

I understand you not wanting her to cook it, but I'd be ok with her bringing some pre cooked slices (I'm veggie).

I think she should be able to bring already cooked chicken should she wish, as a host you should be prepared to accommodate

Why?