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Original poster

Mum wants to sell property I live in ASAP

59 replies

YourLivelyRedBiscuit · 20/12/2024 19:01

I'm in early stages of getting a property with partner - mortgage approved and started processing documents with solicitors so not very far. Mum initially promised that myself and my partner could live in current place for 'as long as it took' and my partner gave notice on his rented accommodation - landlord is selling anyway - and is leaving there February. Now she is saying that my current flat - which does belong to her TBF - needs to go on market first thing in the new year. It is her property and she can of course do what she likes with it but initially she very kindly said we could BOTH use it as a stopgap while our new house process was underway or if there was a delay. This took my partner by surprise and although he understands that he is not my mum's responsibility , we both feel taken aback by the change of heart and I feel stuck in the middle. I feel I owe it to her as she has helped me with the purchase by charging me reduced living costs. Partner says he will just get an air BnB for a while but I felt embarrassed having to communicate the change of heart and I feel stuck in the middle. I am also worried that she said that would give me XYZ money but actually turned out it was ABC money. As I said I am grateful for any help she has given me but just feel a bit let down as she has promised this then gone back on her word.

I also would like a couple or weeks or so to upgrade the flat a bit before estate agents take pictures eg. Replacing bathroom taps and bathroom lino.

How best to communicate this without her throwing back "it's my property' in my face?

OP posts:
Original poster
YourLivelyRedBiscuit · 20/12/2024 19:02

Maybe she just wants to get the ball rolling ASAP?

OP posts:
Knittedfairies2 · 20/12/2024 19:04

Why is it up to you to replace the bathroom taps and Lino?

Thewrongdoor · 20/12/2024 19:04

Have you had an offer accepted on a place you want to buy?

PullTheBricksDown · 20/12/2024 19:05

Surely your mum, as the owner who wants to sell, can sort out replacing lino and bathroom taps?

Honeycrisp · 20/12/2024 19:05

I'd leave out the bit about wanting to upgrade the place first, for starters. That's not your business or your problem.

saltandvinegarchipsticks · 20/12/2024 19:05

Why would you pay to upgrade your mums property, surely that’s for her to sort out?

Is she actually asking you to leave before she markets the flat? Given that you’ve presumably found somewhere to buy, you may well get your move sorted before your mum sorts a buyer and gets to exchange.

Billybagpuss · 20/12/2024 19:05

so you already have a property with an accepted offer and are in the early stages of processing the purchase? By the time your mum gets an offer on the flat you’ll either be long gone or well down the path. It’s really a non issue.

Original poster
YourLivelyRedBiscuit · 20/12/2024 19:06

Because I have stained the lino and can't get it out 😭 I also used a cleaner that stained the taps and the shower hose needed replacing anyway so I was just going to replace everything there

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 20/12/2024 19:09

Are you paying rent on this flat. If so she can't just order you out.

Original poster
YourLivelyRedBiscuit · 20/12/2024 19:11

Ok this is a non issue then

Thanks everyone for chiming in. 😊

Just come on so feeling a bit weird generally maybe sorry

OP posts:
user2848502016 · 20/12/2024 19:12

From the flat going on the market to offers being accepted and surveys done and all that you're probably talking 3 months anyway. Can you just agree a date with her for when you'll move out? Like 1st march maybe?
If you can't move into your own place by then it's enough time to find an airBnB or something temporary like house sitting

Pluvia · 20/12/2024 19:12

If you've got mortgage approval and so on. surely it's just a couple of months before you move into your own property? Unless she's going to offer it cheap to a cash purchaser it'll take your mum two or three months at least before she completes and you have to move out.

PenisWine · 20/12/2024 19:13

Are you paying rent to your DM?

In any case the market is terrible at the moment, realistically you won't need to be out by June. That's enough time isn't it? I'd assume a free stop gap would be 3-6 months.

Coffeemmmmcoffee · 20/12/2024 19:18

Is doesn’t sound like she is communicating very well with you. I wouldn’t want to leave my daughter feeling anxious about all this.

What is your relationship like usually?

For the money do you mean she offered a larger amount and then changed it at the last minute?

TBH from the little you have said I would be feeling a bit unsettled too.

Original poster
YourLivelyRedBiscuit · 20/12/2024 19:18

No I am not paying rent, only covering bills. I get the impression she wants it gone quickly but even so it would take a while I gather?

OP posts:
johnyhadasister · 20/12/2024 19:20

taps and lino is a small job. Focus on the true issue

Billybagpuss · 20/12/2024 19:22

YourLivelyRedBiscuit · 20/12/2024 19:18

No I am not paying rent, only covering bills. I get the impression she wants it gone quickly but even so it would take a while I gather?

In the current market unless it is truly remarkable in a very desirable area. It will not go quicker than you can be in your own house.

its a stressful time but hope it all goes smoothly for you, even if it does reach a point where you need to leave before your house is ready (it won’t) it won’t be very long. You’ll be ok

Gazelda · 20/12/2024 19:22

Pragmatically, she's probably thinking that you and BF will soon be on your way, and she'd rather not have the flat empty longer than necessary. So it makes sense to put it on the market in the new year and take things from there.

Maybe she needs to recoup the sale value to cover what she's contributing to your new place?

You and BF seem to have reacted quite dramatically, rather than having an open conversation with someone who's being very generous to you and not given any pressure.

Mandylovescandy · 20/12/2024 19:23

It took us about 7 months from deciding to sell to actually completing. If you are already in the process of buying then her putting the flat on the market is probably fine. I get that it is annoying and you don't want to be worried it will sell and complete before you but it isn't that likely. The change of plans is unsettling though

YouveGotAFastCar · 20/12/2024 19:24

YourLivelyRedBiscuit · 20/12/2024 19:18

No I am not paying rent, only covering bills. I get the impression she wants it gone quickly but even so it would take a while I gather?

It really depends. If she finds a buyer quickly; and searches in your area are not backlogged, it could be six weeks or so. If one of those things isn’t true, it could be six months.

I do think you could ask her why she’s now in a rush to sell, that’s quite a normal question…. I can understand why your partner is put out; under the circumstances.

FlickeringFairyLight · 20/12/2024 19:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MimiSunshine · 20/12/2024 19:28

Think about this sensibly and rationally OP.

You’ve had an offer accepted on a property (I presume if you’re instructing solicitors) but no date yet for completion and moving in. so what makes you think your mum Is going to have her flat on the market, under offer and sale processed and completed before you get yours done?

yes it is possible if she sells cheap to a cash buyer but it’s not that likely.

so calm down, tell your boyfriend to move in as planned and then talk to your mum about moving the goal posts on a few things.

Original poster
YourLivelyRedBiscuit · 20/12/2024 19:30

Our relationship is on the whole great but am a bit unsettled by this change.

I should clarify that it was 20k, I got the impression that's what was available immediately but it was only 10 (other 10k not accessible yet as maturing she says) so she has kept her word on that. I am now having to get more. money together for solicitors, which I can just about scrape but was hoping to use 10k to help with some of those fees and furniture and stuff and now she is advising me to get interest free with IKEA so have a feeling I won't see that money now which is fine as she has been generous already with this flat. She said we can have the furniture in the flat bit now we can't - some of it I bought , some of it her. Doesn't really matter in big scheme of things but I am just sick of the flip flopping. Partner asking me to ask her for the money to have available to pay solicitors asap when bill comes but have a feeling it won't be there. His parents also promised him money then bailed so it's just not knowing where we stand more than anything else.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 20/12/2024 19:37

YourLivelyRedBiscuit · 20/12/2024 19:06

Because I have stained the lino and can't get it out 😭 I also used a cleaner that stained the taps and the shower hose needed replacing anyway so I was just going to replace everything there

I still wouldn't do it

AuContraire · 20/12/2024 19:37

YourLivelyRedBiscuit · 20/12/2024 19:30

Our relationship is on the whole great but am a bit unsettled by this change.

I should clarify that it was 20k, I got the impression that's what was available immediately but it was only 10 (other 10k not accessible yet as maturing she says) so she has kept her word on that. I am now having to get more. money together for solicitors, which I can just about scrape but was hoping to use 10k to help with some of those fees and furniture and stuff and now she is advising me to get interest free with IKEA so have a feeling I won't see that money now which is fine as she has been generous already with this flat. She said we can have the furniture in the flat bit now we can't - some of it I bought , some of it her. Doesn't really matter in big scheme of things but I am just sick of the flip flopping. Partner asking me to ask her for the money to have available to pay solicitors asap when bill comes but have a feeling it won't be there. His parents also promised him money then bailed so it's just not knowing where we stand more than anything else.

Edited

Then let this be a lesson to you both to stand on your own two feet.

Maybe both his parents and your mum are touring of you both taking little financial responsibility for yourselves? You both do seem to expect a lot of other people's money.

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