Mum wants to sell property I live in ASAP

[YourLivelyRedBiscuit]

I'm in early stages of getting a property with partner - mortgage approved and started processing documents with solicitors so not very far. Mum initially promised that myself and my partner could live in current place for 'as long as it took' and my partner gave notice on his rented accommodation - landlord is selling anyway - and is leaving there February. Now she is saying that my current flat - which does belong to her TBF - needs to go on market first thing in the new year. It is her property and she can of course do what she likes with it but initially she very kindly said we could BOTH use it as a stopgap while our new house process was underway or if there was a delay. This took my partner by surprise and although he understands that he is not my mum's responsibility , we both feel taken aback by the change of heart and I feel stuck in the middle. I feel I owe it to her as she has helped me with the purchase by charging me reduced living costs. Partner says he will just get an air BnB for a while but I felt embarrassed having to communicate the change of heart and I feel stuck in the middle. I am also worried that she said that would give me XYZ money but actually turned out it was ABC money. As I said I am grateful for any help she has given me but just feel a bit let down as she has promised this then gone back on her word.

I also would like a couple or weeks or so to upgrade the flat a bit before estate agents take pictures eg. Replacing bathroom taps and bathroom lino.

How best to communicate this without her throwing back "it's my property' in my face?

However quickly your Mum wants to sell it still takes about 10-12 weeks for searches to be completed and contracts exchanged. Solicitors often take on more work than they can cope with so their are delays.

putting a property on the market doesnt guarantee it will sell any time soon. It could take up to 6 months. Will you have moved to your own property within a few months anyway?

I don’t think it is worth rocking the boat as that might make her have second thoughts about helping you. As the flat is not on the market yet, is it possible that you would move before it is sold. There is little you can actually do, just hold your tongue and let her know how grateful you are. What are your plans if completion on the flat does not happen before your house is ready?

I really wouldn't pay to replace anything because it's entirely possible that the next owner would rip it all out anyway.

Agree, the whole buying/selling/exchange/completion process is extremely lengthy.
Don't know the full story re your mum changing money agreements/amounts but there could be more to it?

her timing sounds right, you should be in your new place before a sale is completed on the flat that you are currently living in

This is definitely one of the massive cons of living in an unofficial rent arrangement with a family member as the owner. I was the partner in a similar situation to yours and had moved a very long way to live in a house we were told we could live in for 18 months only for the owner to decide after 8 weeks that actually, they were selling the house now and we needed to be out ASAP and we suddenly had to scramble around for rent deposits, somewhere to live and movers within a fortnight of being told. The rush meant we ended up in somewhere unsuitable because we were on the cusp of being homeless.

FWIW I definitely didn’t hold it against the partner I had at the time as he was just as dumbfounded as I was, however it did make me decide never to agree to that sort of living situation again.

OP has LITERALLY said this is her plan, so it's a bit unnecessary to passively aggressively query it, no?

I think you're getting a hard time OP. No, you're not entitled to your mum's money, but if she didn't want to give it to you, or have you stay in her flat beyond a set time, she shouldn't have made the offer in the first place! Offering something (in fact several things) and then going back on it when you had made plans taking it into account is rude, and it's shitty that both she, and your partner's parents have done it.

It's weird that posters are calling you entitled when it's not as if you asked for money - both parents apparently voluntarily offered - which is completely normal, apparently more than half of first time buyers homes are at least partly funded by the "bank of mum and dad."

On the bright side, if you are further along in the buying process than she is in the selling one, then even if she does put it up for sale in January it seems unlikely that she will have sold her flat before you've bought your new home.

I'm also a bit confused as to why your boyfriend is saying he will go into an air bnb - either you will still be in the flat in which case why can't he move in with you briefly as planned, it won't make any difference to your mum being able to sell it whether both of you are living there or just one person? or you will have left the flat in which case can't he just move to wherever you are planning on going?

Thanks everyone.

Spoken to my partner and he is thinking it would be too cramped anyway with him in it and taking photos etc with both all our stuff there so he may well take an Airbnb regardless. It's only a one bed flat.

I am so extremely grateful for my mother's help and she has done the same for my sister.

I have plumbers visiting already tomorrow regarding the tap job. I think also the towel rail needs replacing, I painted over it with specialist paint a while ago as was already rusting soon after moving in but this is wearing off and looking a bit rough. I have reasonable quotes for labour for both and I am hoping I can get an even better deal on the towel rail and tap itself in the January sales.

The lino is to be redone last after these messy jobs. Of course I feel that yes morally I have to do it. The bathroom is relatively small so should not be too bad, I had it redone when I first moved and was less than £100 for everything iirc. Probably more now but heyho...

Mum is really so kind, I am embarrassed to tell her about the repairs and in a way would like for it to be a nice surprise for her, leaving flat in best state possible of course as I would do naturally. However she has actually said that she knows she'll take a loss on it, as prices haven't gone up anyway for these flats.

Partner has a very good stable job and is paying a larger proportion of deposit - so together we have put a large one down so that we have a 25% of house value already. He is savvy with money but comes from a country where house purchasing is less common and people live in apartments instead and his parents are going spare at the amount of money he is spending already so I think he will leave them out of it completely. I remember him being upset because they - his parents - said they had put some money away for him towards a future house purchase but then said they didn't have it which actually at the time my Mum said was an awful thing to do.

I am really very lucky and just overreacted. Tired and hormonal hahaha!

Thanks everyone