DO NOT give your kid a smartphone this Christmas

[Firey40]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDd86TftyNT/?igsh=MTZueGVicm1udDllNw==

The evidence is overwhelming.

Their brains are only young once.

We might not have known before….. but we know now.

STOP GIVING KIDS SMARTPHONES

I think we all know that smart phones are bad for everyone , not just kids.

Unfortunately this is where we are, and if we denied my 12 year old one she would be a social pariah with no friends, and mercilessly bullied. We wouldn't have to worry about where she is as she would never get asked to go anywhere.

So, the best we can do is educate, educate , educate!.

And, for all those saying ' my child won't have one' ...yep, just wait until every other member of their class or year has one.

@WasThatACorner

The question shouldn't be "how do we limit teenagers access to the world" it should be "how do we support teenagers to navigate the world that they are a part of".

Again, nail on the head there.

Mine are too young right now but they will get smart phones just before starting high school.

Or OP, just a thought, maybe parent your child? If they have a access to ANY Internet abled device (including the consoles parents are just happy to let their kids sit on talking to a whole plethora of strangers) place the appropriate restrictions. There are apps and family groups that fully restrict app installations on devices unless given permission by a parent account.

I would change your title to "DO NOT give your kid a smartphone this Christmas if you don't understand how to keep them safe."

Agreed. Educating children on the appropriate usage and time spent on any device that has access to the internet, and every piece of good and bad information is the key.

Society now functions largely with the help of smartphones and apps, we need to teach our kids how to grow up in such a world, safely and responsibly.

Another vote for YANBU at all.

But then there is a sizeable crowd on MN who'll tell you to "have a day off" for doing independent research into your child's development and wellbeing if the evidence doesn't fit what society accepts as normal.

My 12 year old has one but I’ll never give one as a gift while he is young. I’m
completely floored that there are eleven and twelve year olds walking around with brand new iPhones. Blows me away.

What other devices are people accessing hours and hours of social media throughout the day? Which ones did you have in mind

Before I got a smartphone, I had an iPod Touch. It was a gorgeous little thing, definitely one of my favourite items ever. I could look at emails on it and it had quite a nice camera, but its specialism was audio and it performed best when I treated it accordingly and didn't expect more from it than radio, music and audiobooks. It would be nice to see those features incorporated into a feature phone - I'm sure that there'd be a market for it outside the under 16s. Lots of older people would love a device that didn't have bells and whistles for SM, but allowed them to access the things they liked, such as maps, audio, a Kindle function etc.

How do we do this, genuinely?

Or, you know, you could stop blaming very useful tech and teach your child how to be responsible with said tech. Why do some people have to blame the equipment that only does what you allow it to do. Smartphones are not the devil, apps aren't evil. The parents who don't monitor their usage and don't teach their children to use them safely should take some responsibility.

🎄❄️🥰😵‍💫🕊️SMARTPHONE INFO POST 🥰❄️🎄😬😬🥶🤯

Ok so, in the interests of passing on really amazing advice we got from a dad who works at the EE shop we went to, he advised us to get an iPhone and not a brick for our 11 yo son. He recommended Backgrid and a SIM only deal, which is why we now have. So far, it has been good advice! This is what he told us:

🎄 Burner phone numbers can be shared with anyone and it doesn't have the same capability to block numbers coming in. So god knows who can contact a child on a burner phone.

🎄 With an iPhone, you set it up in your name with you as a parent. You can control who goes in the contacts and the phone will appear invisible to anyone who is not in the contacts.

🎄You can enable or block apps - any time they want to access one, they need your permission.

🎄 The iphone on this child setting will switch its internet access off during school hours so that it doesn't work, it's just a phone. This is a bit academic now given that so many schools have banned them anyway, but is still useful to know.

At the moment, this works for us - our son gets to feel a bit more independent and can move around after school etc. But he's happy, he sleeps, he talks to us and is doing brilliantly at school. I'm aware it will all change once he properly hits teenagedom, but we've worked with him to set this all up and hopefully it will be something we can continue to negotiate on and share.

Anyway, not sure if this is all known about but thought it was worth sharing anyway. Happy Christmas everyone 🎄

This is the same argument that’s used about dangerous dog breeds. Not the dog but the owner of the dog. Completely forgetting that said dog was bred to fight and said device was developed by incredibly clever people to be addictive.

impossible to imagine going back, so how does society move forward with the mental of its young people in mind?

Mental health. Duh!

It's hard to fight things accepted as the norm even when the research and your gut tells you it's harmful.

The amount of times I've seen boys (girls are may be more discreet?) piled up on the kerbside watching rude content on a little screens. They are children. And you need one in ten to have access to a smartphone for all of them to be exposed.

It requires lots and lots of really good, strong, involved parenting that about 95% of parents aren’t doing because they are super busy and distracted.

I feel like I'm reading a lot of defensive posts by parents who feel like they don't have much control over their child's phone use and try to paper over the cracks by telling themselves that their pre-pubescent children are sensible about screen time and that we live in a digital world so there's no point fighting against it.

There is a point fighting against it. I've seen it over and over again with my own dc and their friends. The kids who have phones in primary school have those phones glued to their hands non-stop. They don't know how to play at the park without filming themselves. They message random numbers of adults (my dd's 10yo friend recently messaged me at 8.30pm on a school night thinking it was my dd's number - she doesn't have a phone). They are part of whatsapp groups with unknown members who share inappropriate images - and nobody seems to know who these people are.... These are all primary aged children - the ones whose parents think they are sensible kids.

They are children, who are losing their chance at a childhood spent playing outdoors and learning social skills through face to face interactions. Instead they are all huddled around phones on the playground before and after school.

I know a woman who gave her 10yo a phone and she said it was like a switch flipped - her dd was outdoorsy and loved gymnastics, and quickly became obsessed with her phone and sitting in her room instead. She couldn't quite pull it back and has since given up trying to impose restrictions. It's really worrying and depressing, I've lived in several areas over the years and I see the same patterns over and over.

I was going to type more, but I think there's enough evidence to suggest a smart phone isn't a good idea for a pre-teen or young child, and that social media was never intended for under 16s to access. There are bad actors on the internet who are tirelessly pursuing ways to get into contact with other people's children. That in itself is enough to make me extremely wary...

How the heck did diabetic children and adults 'stay alive' before smartphones were a thing?...

Because they absolutely did and do manage absolutely fine without a smartphone.

I disagree, I think smartphones actually are the devil.

On many of the apps, you can actually access safari search engine through them. You can then login and use social media in the browser. People are deluded if they think parental controls truly work and I bet those who claim that their DC will be a social pariah if they don’t have a smartphone don’t use parental controls anyway. And with the pariah thing, it’s not the having of the phone that’s important- it’s the being on the apps - Snapchat, instagram, TikTok. So if your 12 yo says that she needs to be on Snapchat because everyone else is on it, will you agree to that as otherwise she’s an outcast? Because that is a verrrrry slippery slope.

Oh thank goodness you arrived just in the nick of time 😊

I was always against tech out and about, I had my phone which had v low data and I did all my admin stuff at home. I had a laptop for emails, booking things etc and a printer for tickets or anything else. But I feel everything progressed in the last few years, I was constantly unable to do things. The final straw was when I had to pay a lot for exceeding my data when I was away from home because I had to download 2 apps, one just for parking my car. I've given in and bought a better phone with lots of data. Now all school related stuff is by app, people send links constantly, its 24/7, collections are done by revolut for sports clubs. I must have about 6 payment platforms. My point is it's nonsensical to say children shouldn't have phones at the same time as large institutions including government bodies are making it impossible to live every day life without one.

People track their kids?

So if they want to go somewhere they know they aren't allowed to go, they leave their phone at a friend's house, therefore meaning they are unable to call anyone for help if needed? That seems really counterintuitive.

Unless your kids don't know you are tracking them. Which somehow seems worse...

Well a hundred years ago type 1_diabetes would have been a terminal illness thankfully insulin was manufactured. And it became a,manageable condition
As technology improves ,it decreases the risk of Hypos and DKA,s both of which can be fatal and that's surely a good thing?

After watching "Swiped" I agree with you.

DD 4 has access to my old phone, from which I've removed all social media and the SIM card, and uses it to play colouring games every now and then. She's not touched it for ages but I use it to put a guided meditation on to help her get to sleep.

Hopefully by the time she's 11 there will be phones designed for the exact purposes children need them for. I'd be happy for her to have a decent camera, tracking facility and basic ability to call and text.