Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I will let it go, but this has annoyed me

64 replies

JMSA · 18/12/2024 21:52

We recently had a charity event at the school where I work, to help our families most in need this Christmas. We collected many donations from the public, and donated many items ourselves as staff. It was all good quality secondhand toys, clothing, books, toiletries (ok, the toiletries were new!), some household stuff, etc. It was well attended and our families were delighted. However we had a lot of items left over at the end, and I arranged for a charity shop to collect them in their van. Everyone's a winner, or so I thought.
As planned, the charity shop driver picked up all the leftover stuff today. I had pupils and members of staff helping him, and off the man went with our thanks ... and a shedload of donations.
Not long afterwards, I had a missed call from the charity shop manager on my mobile. I didn't pick up, as that's not always appropriate to do in class. Next thing, he has phoned the school and the office staff put him through to me. He told me he was phoning to complain. He said that he had told me that they were not accepting donations of toys. Folks, I can hand on heart say that this did not happen. He told me in advance that they were not accepting donations of children's clothing, and that was fine. I removed them from the bundle. However I can tell you hand on heart that I had told him we had many toys, and he said that was great. I mean, it was a charity event at a school! And the driver took it all without saying anything.
The manager told me that I had made a 'horrible situation' for him, and that the majority of the toys would have to be thrown away, which would cost the charity shop money.
I pointed out to him that he absolutely hadn't told me that they weren't accepting toys, and he sniffly said 'well, it doesn't matter now' and pretty much hung up the phone.
This was HIS mistake. And I'm fucked off that the donations we collected tirelessly will go to waste at Christmas, of all times. And that he phoned me at my work to complain.
I am usually the kind of person to doubt myself in situations, and to think 'well, maybe he did say that.' But I know in all certainty that I'm right.
Should I complain or let it go?

OP posts:
Evaka · 18/12/2024 21:53

Let it go. He fucked up if he didn't tell you and it's his problem to deal with now.

TwinkleLights24 · 18/12/2024 21:55

I’d have told him to bring all of it back if he was going to be so ungrateful. The left over donations could have been used by other families.

LucyLocketLovesPollyPocket · 18/12/2024 21:56

If you have space in the school to store, I'd be requesting them back for the next collection or to pop on a raffle over the year

AlisonDonut · 18/12/2024 21:56

Id drive straight over and collect it all back.

Onlyvisiting · 18/12/2024 21:57

I'd complain and want them brought back! They don't need to throw them away, that's absurd, just pass them along to a different charity. Maybe a different school?

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 18/12/2024 21:57

If it's genuinely decent then collect it back, I would try and ask him to have it delivered back given they have a van and they miscommunicated.

UndeniablyGenX · 18/12/2024 21:59

My guess is that he underestimated or didn't listen properly about how much stuff there was and now he's trying to blame someone else because there's no room for it.

pictoosh · 18/12/2024 22:00

Nahhh let it go. He fucked up and as the conversation progressed he realised it.
It's a 'what a knob' occasion. Nothing else.

JMSA · 18/12/2024 22:17

Thanks all. Unfortunately we're not in a position to have it all back, as we struggle for storage. However we could have chosen a different charity had we known about their current stance on toys.

OP posts:
PissOffJeffrey · 24/12/2024 06:44

I’d be annoyed too. You tried to do a good thing & I’m sure he’s just lost your support going forward.

pestowithwalnuts · 24/12/2024 06:59

TwinkleLights24 · 18/12/2024 21:55

I’d have told him to bring all of it back if he was going to be so ungrateful. The left over donations could have been used by other families.

Or sent to a different charity

ForGreyKoala · 24/12/2024 07:00

I don't think there is much point in complaining, but I wouldn't be donating to that particular charity shop in the future should you have leftover stuff again. What a knob!

TheLurpackYears · 24/12/2024 07:03

Forget about it. He's letting off some Xmas stress. He won't have throw them away, they will have been passed onto another branch/ shop if he hasn't found storage.

Anewuser · 24/12/2024 07:25

No good deed goes unpunished.

Deathraystare · 24/12/2024 07:31

If it really pissed you off it might be worth writing a letter to their head office telling all and let them know that next year you will go with a better charity that corresponds better!

Marchitectmummy · 24/12/2024 07:39

Annoyed or not if you can't take them back then it pretty much doesn't change anything.

Most charity shops do not accept toys, and haven't for a few years. Only certain sellers can sell toys for under 3 now also.

My guess is he said clothes meaning toys...I can't think of one shop that doesn't sell kids clothes, we donate to different places kids clothes and they are snapped up.

bigkidatheart · 24/12/2024 07:43

I would contact his Manager and complain. Those toys didn't have to be thrown away, they could have been re-donated them, given to a food or baby bank

Whitewolf2 · 24/12/2024 07:46

I’d consider calling their head office, explaining the situation and ask if they could look into giving the toys to another of their shops or a different charity. Throwing toys away would be a waste.

Ohthatsabitshit · 24/12/2024 07:47

Well what a horrible end to all your work. I’m so sorry. Sometimes we do all the right things and put in all the effort and it doesn’t work out how we’d like it to. Use the feelings you are having to make you a better teacher, partner, or friend. You did a good thing, don’t let this stop you doing your utmost again.

Eyresandgraces · 24/12/2024 07:51

The more I hear about charities the more I think they need to start paying staff wages and proper rates.
They disadvantage small businesses by selling brand new items, they’re impossible to deal with if you have a complaint and they’re frequently rude.
And a friend of mine was hassled continuously as an executor as the charity thought he should have magically made probate go through a lot quicker.
There are no charities in my will, I have two that I give a monthly donation to and my dc have been instructed to donate a lump sum after I’ve died.

ItsNotYou852 · 24/12/2024 07:53

Marchitectmummy · 24/12/2024 07:39

Annoyed or not if you can't take them back then it pretty much doesn't change anything.

Most charity shops do not accept toys, and haven't for a few years. Only certain sellers can sell toys for under 3 now also.

My guess is he said clothes meaning toys...I can't think of one shop that doesn't sell kids clothes, we donate to different places kids clothes and they are snapped up.

This.. If not clearly CE marked no charity shop can legally sell toys now..
Obviously he should have made it clear but no point getting stressed over it now.

UnhappyFriend · 24/12/2024 07:56

Sounds like a jobs worth!

BuildbyNumbere · 24/12/2024 08:02

If email HQ and complain, especially about him ringing you at work and hanging up.
Thought charity shops were crying out for toys before Xmas?!?

Miaminmoo · 24/12/2024 08:02

Honestly this makes me so mad, I once organised to donate a dining table and chairs to the British Heart Foundation as I was moving and didn’t need it, it was in great condition and when the driver came he wouldn’t take it as there was a small biro mark on the table. I will never offer them anything again, I gave it to a local charity who came same day to get it and were so grateful. This was disgraceful behaviour by this staff member and I sincerely hope you find a different charity to support next time.

Lemonadeand · 24/12/2024 08:11

What charity shop isn’t accepting children’s clothes? 🙄 never mind, your intentions were good and it wasn’t your fault.

Swipe left for the next trending thread