I will let it go, but this has annoyed me

[JMSA]

We recently had a charity event at the school where I work, to help our families most in need this Christmas. We collected many donations from the public, and donated many items ourselves as staff. It was all good quality secondhand toys, clothing, books, toiletries (ok, the toiletries were new!), some household stuff, etc. It was well attended and our families were delighted. However we had a lot of items left over at the end, and I arranged for a charity shop to collect them in their van. Everyone's a winner, or so I thought.
As planned, the charity shop driver picked up all the leftover stuff today. I had pupils and members of staff helping him, and off the man went with our thanks ... and a shedload of donations.
Not long afterwards, I had a missed call from the charity shop manager on my mobile. I didn't pick up, as that's not always appropriate to do in class. Next thing, he has phoned the school and the office staff put him through to me. He told me he was phoning to complain. He said that he had told me that they were not accepting donations of toys. Folks, I can hand on heart say that this did not happen. He told me in advance that they were not accepting donations of children's clothing, and that was fine. I removed them from the bundle. However I can tell you hand on heart that I had told him we had many toys, and he said that was great. I mean, it was a charity event at a school! And the driver took it all without saying anything.
The manager told me that I had made a 'horrible situation' for him, and that the majority of the toys would have to be thrown away, which would cost the charity shop money.
I pointed out to him that he absolutely hadn't told me that they weren't accepting toys, and he sniffly said 'well, it doesn't matter now' and pretty much hung up the phone.
This was HIS mistake. And I'm fucked off that the donations we collected tirelessly will go to waste at Christmas, of all times. And that he phoned me at my work to complain.
I am usually the kind of person to doubt myself in situations, and to think 'well, maybe he did say that.' But I know in all certainty that I'm right.
Should I complain or let it go?

The attitude and defensiveness of him shows he has probably fucked up and knows it.

People get like that.

I would just forget it. It's not your fault. If you can, grab the toys back but if not just put it out of your mind and have a good Christmas.

Donating to charity shops is a complete nightmare these days. We have had a big clear out following having work done on our house. In addition MIL died two years ago and we are still trying to clear her house.

Frankly, some of the charity shop managers treat you like dirt for daring to donate the 'wrong' stuff.

is it a national charity? If so I'd contact head office to complain. The idea is to encourage people to give, not put them off!

@SwisswolvesLilley it is actually his job to decide what to sell and what not to sell. My friend worked as a manager of a large charity shop for several years. She had a strong retail background and her job was to make as much money as she could and she had set targets and goals the same as she would have had in any high street retailer

Yes, his job to decide what he sells in his shop, NOT his job to decide what others will and won't want. As a charity shop manager he should also ensure donations his shop don't want/need are passed on responsibly to other outlets, not merely thrown away. The guy had a shitty attitude and it astounds me the people on here prepared to make excuses for him.

Oh loads near us don’t - they just sell adult clothes. There’s only one locally (Barnardo’s) that accepts children’s clothes. Scope, hospice, Cancer Research, Crisis etc all don’t. Cancer Research actually told me they only accept new with tags on as secondhand doesn’t sell (I was trying to donate Sweaty Betty, Hobbs etc, not rags!). This is Camberwell not Kensington.

All of which is fine if they tell you that upfront. There are clothes recycling bins locally you can put used clothes into if charity shops don’t want them.

After you've worked in a charity shop for a while, you learn what your customers do and don't want. What other outlets do you think they should be sent to? There are donations we get that the rag man won't even take.

I love people saying what he should and should not do when they have zero charity shop experience.

All these charity shops that don’t want books, don’t want toys, don’t want children’s clothes, turn their noses up at perfectly good dining tables and coffee tables because of a minuscule mark, they don’t want electrical goods because they have to PAT test them… what exactly do they want donated to them?

I stopped bothering years ago, they are so ungrateful and rude, it’s easier to just give the stuff away to people on gumtree for free.

All these charity shops that don’t want books, don’t want toys, don’t want children’s clothes, turn their noses up at perfectly good dining tables and coffee tables because of a minuscule mark, they don’t want electrical goods because they have to PAT test them… what exactly do they want donated to them?

Things which will sell.

Books - we take books, we sell them for 10p each. We still send 20-30 crates per week away to be recycled. I can understand why a small shop without those facilities wouldn't take them.

Toys - We take toys, but a lot go to the rag man. People will "donate" broken toys, board games with bits missing etc. Nobody is going to buy a half completed coloring book. We've had jigsaws donated where the donor has helpfully circled on the front where the missing pieces are.

Childrens clothes - some sell but nobody is buying a Primark tee which cost 90p new. We sell babygrows at 10 for £1 and still don't sell many.

Furniture can be tricky as we don't deliver, a dining table without chairs isn't a big seller, even though it's second hand people are still picky.

PAT testers charge per item but have a minimum price per visit. We have had to cancel a visit before if we didn't have enough items. Small shops often don't have a contracted PAT tester for this reason.

There's a thought from customers that we should be grateful for every donation when a lot of them don't think if their donation is sellable. I await the inevitable annoyance from them in January because we won't accept Christmas trees.

I would write to the head office. I use to work in senior management in a charity and I can tell you many charity shop managers did not behave as we instructed. Look at the charity website and aim to speak to finance director they don’t get many calls from the public and will probably take your concerns onboard. And I would never fund raise or donate to that charity again. Merry Christmas

The OP concern is how it was handled not that they do not take certain items. Manners cost nothing and the charity shop managers behaviour was not good by all accounts.

Things that will sell.

well obviously. I don’t offer shite, only stuff i would buy myself . Including brand new in the box adidas kids trainers and told no we don’t take kids clothes or shoes. Mental.

Which charity shops don’t sell toys? Every single one in our town does, including ones obviously for under 3s.

Definitely don't complain. I can understand that it is upsetting for you. Horrible to feel that you are being 'judged' in relation to a misunderstanding that wasn't your fault. But honestly I think most people (including the guy himself now that he has let off steam) will just see it as one of those things, without really ascribing any fault to anyone at all.

What is most telling about the story is that all that stuff is just a problem, not a resource. The people who donated it wanted rid of it, the school needed rid of it when it wasn't bought, now the charity shop needs rid of it.

The issue is one of waste removal. Charities often end up in a situation where they are having to deal with waste and be grateful for it. Mad world.