I will let it go, but this has annoyed me

[JMSA]

We recently had a charity event at the school where I work, to help our families most in need this Christmas. We collected many donations from the public, and donated many items ourselves as staff. It was all good quality secondhand toys, clothing, books, toiletries (ok, the toiletries were new!), some household stuff, etc. It was well attended and our families were delighted. However we had a lot of items left over at the end, and I arranged for a charity shop to collect them in their van. Everyone's a winner, or so I thought.
As planned, the charity shop driver picked up all the leftover stuff today. I had pupils and members of staff helping him, and off the man went with our thanks ... and a shedload of donations.
Not long afterwards, I had a missed call from the charity shop manager on my mobile. I didn't pick up, as that's not always appropriate to do in class. Next thing, he has phoned the school and the office staff put him through to me. He told me he was phoning to complain. He said that he had told me that they were not accepting donations of toys. Folks, I can hand on heart say that this did not happen. He told me in advance that they were not accepting donations of children's clothing, and that was fine. I removed them from the bundle. However I can tell you hand on heart that I had told him we had many toys, and he said that was great. I mean, it was a charity event at a school! And the driver took it all without saying anything.
The manager told me that I had made a 'horrible situation' for him, and that the majority of the toys would have to be thrown away, which would cost the charity shop money.
I pointed out to him that he absolutely hadn't told me that they weren't accepting toys, and he sniffly said 'well, it doesn't matter now' and pretty much hung up the phone.
This was HIS mistake. And I'm fucked off that the donations we collected tirelessly will go to waste at Christmas, of all times. And that he phoned me at my work to complain.
I am usually the kind of person to doubt myself in situations, and to think 'well, maybe he did say that.' But I know in all certainty that I'm right.
Should I complain or let it go?

Absolutely go to his head office get the donations back and complain!!! There’s children in your area getting NOTHING I guarantee it …. Contact your local church pastor they will know where the toys are needed for sure ….

‘he’ needs a different job charity clearly isn’t his thing

At the end if the day, you have nowhere to store the toys and wanted them to be taken away. That is what has happened.

I wouldn’t be too worried about the toys being wasted or thrown away. I well remember the stuff that was left over at school sales. The charity are disposing of it rather than you and I doubt t you'd have got one charity to collect everything so even if some of the stuff goes to the dump they have done you a favour.

The phone call was off, but you can't change the fact it happened.

I recently put together a box of hardly used good quality unmarked toys (wooden toys, Melissa & Doug,etc) and took them to the local charity shop. They didn’t want them as the toy shelves were full - with brand new products!

They won’t be getting anything from me in future.

The local hospice charity were thrilled with the donation and put them in the window.

I would complain, without a doubt. He dragged you out of class, with no consideration about how that would make you look to office staff (your HT might have been about and believed you were in the wrong), to throw an absolutely unnecessary hissy fit, based on a lie, and then hung up on you. Totally unacceptable.

Charity shops can sell toys, very few don't in fact. We check them for CE/UKCA labels but other than that there are no restrictions on toys for under 3s.
We often become overwhelmed with them and have to say no, although I try to find other homes for them instead when I can.
Children's clothes however, those I often say no to. We price them at 50p and still they don't sell, with supermarkets so cheap people only buy a few more expensive pieces from charity shops now.

I would absolutely complain. That’s a poor attitude for any charity shop manager and how dare he call you at work and tell you off like a naughty child. If he did his job properly he would find a new charity to take the toys. A charity shop manager disposing of them is outrageous to me.

I would have set up a stall after school and asked for donations of around 50p per item or what ever you think appropriate and that was you have got rid of loads of stuff, people have bought stuff for a bargain and the money raised can be donated to what ever charity or charities if the schools choosing

I have rarely taken stuff to charity shops as it just isn’t worth the time or money to do so

Most of the time the notices are that they don’t want certain items as they have too much (probably because what they do have in the shop is overpriced) or your stuff isn’t the quality they want.

Well I doubt you're more annoyed than he is @JMSA , he's the one stuck with all the stuff that no one wanted.

No, his job is to raise money for the charity he works for, not spend yet more time and resources rehoming uwanted stuff.

I head up retail for a charity and would be mortified if one of our shops acted this way. 100% contact head office and complain

I would complain. Ridiculous way for him to behave.

My mum has tried donating her mum’s stuff to Charity shops (all nice and practically unused). Several Charity shops have been really rude to my mum and haven’t accepted anything so most of it has gone in the tip.

OP I would go straight there and pick up all the toys ect.. better than it going in the bin!

Can you find a local charity that will take the toys? How about finding a local alternative and asking the charity man to send the collection there. He cannot be serious about destroying quality items ever, especially toys at this time of year! His attitude given what he does is crap.

Check your emails and paperwork and if it’s correct, do please complain about him. He needs to be more effective at his job and learn not to be rude to people who try to help. I suspect you won’t be thinking about helping this charity again, and they need to know why.

Christmas tends to be when most charity shops are overflowing with toys@BonneMaman77 because so many people have a good clear out before Christmas to make room for the new stuff. As society we have too much stuff, it's just unevenly distributed. Charity shops help with that but it's really not their job to counter our huge over-consumption. And then people get do hugely offended that they don't want their leavings.

Can you not just pick it up and take it to the nearest charity shop?

Please complain! That's awful attitude from him. Are you sure the stuff they took is even going to be sold for the charity or the cynic in me says maybe he only wanted stuff he could sell for higher prices as new.
In any case ask for the toys back and donate them to a local women's refuge/ reach out to more local foodbanks who may appreciate their families getting some toys with food or just keep them for school reception/ nursery. I really hope he didn't throw them away. And his attitude needs to be flagged up if that's the way he speaks to people who've donated so much instead of a thanks.

I took photos of our outgrown toys and emailed them to local nurseries, playgroups and afterschool clubs. A bit of a faff for me dropping things off but I wanted them to go to places where they would be played with, instead of just going to landfill. Almost everything was snapped up!

That's not the OP's fault, though. It was the charity's error. If he is giving anyone a bollocking, it should be the person who miscommunicated to the OP. OP, I would never deal with that charity again. I would also complain to their head office and I would also be telling everyone I knew not to donate to them unless and until I got an apology.

I can’t stand this rude grumpy attitude from charity shops, it’s actually really miserable when you make an effort to recycle old things instead of binning them and get told off like some kind of semi-criminal chancer.

it’s ok they if they can’t take something and explain that so you don’t give them that, fine, maybe annoying but not their fault. But when they have a go at you - fuck off!

We have loads in our area, it’s known for them and people come here to do the charity shops, so they are popular and successful. Most of the staff are lovely. But one in particular has a man who is so rude and dismissive and sneery about what you try to donate. It’s the Bethany shop that do furniture and bigger items so some things can only go there, but I’ve stopped taking anything as he’s so horrible. (And it’s never been anything broken, dirty or rubbish, nothing like that at all.) It just goes to the recycling centre/tip instead which is a big faff but at least it will get used in some way.

I know the feelings of the person doing the donating aren’t the most important thing, but I just want to say I know how it feels OP and YANBU

Well to be honest you’re both relying on your own memories so he realistically could be in the right 🤷‍♀️

Leave it and donate to a different charity next year.

I would send an email explaining that your class/school will no longer be donating to this charity to HR and instead you will collect for another. Explain the exact reason for this - something like, 'it is difficult to work with a manager who is belittling of the time and effort myself, my class, and other staff members put into collecting for this charity. Furthermore, I cannot have another situation where it is not properly communicated to me or my peers what donations will be acceptable. This not only wastes the charities time and money, but ours'.

Basically, get it in writing that this guy has been a prick, and then ditch him for a nicer charity.

I work in a charity shop, at this time of year we get an avalanche of toys and many other shops are refusing to take them, I wish we could but head office have said no. Everyone is having a clear out for Christmas and we've had 3 or 4 donations of the dregs of school fairs. We don't have infinite space, so everyone saying "find another charity shop" doesn't have a clue what they're talking about.

Nobody is going to be able to sell through so much a week before Christmas, we've even marked ride on toys etc. down to £1 to get rid of them. I'm sick of the "charity shops should be grateful" narrative.

His job is also to embrace the ethos of charity. If he can’t do that, he shouldn’t be working there, and it’s not his place to determine what is ‘unwanted’.

I agree he shouldn't be rude but it absolutely is his place to know his stock and his storage and to make decisions about which donations to accept.