Annoyed at another school mum for overly trusting her daughter

[HelloUniverse]

My dd10 has been friends with a girls for a long time. Last week I received a text in the morning from her mum saying my dd was showing ‘threatening behaviour’ and was going to ‘spread nasty rumours’ about her friend and I should sort this out with my daughter. I asked my daughter and she denied it, and was a bit shocked her friend had said this about her. They went into school that day and played happily together and everything was fine. Even the friend’s mum acknowledged that they were both fine at school. AIBU to be annoyed at the mum for accusing my daughter automatically and not finding it strange that one minute she finds my daughter threatening and the next she’s best friends again? Luckily my daughter isn’t sensitive and has bigger things going on in her world that this doesn’t bother her. But it bothers me that my dd was accused of something (no witnesses or evidence) and the mum has just moved on, without even acknowledging her dd may have made this up?

There are usually 3 sides to every story.

I’m shocked at the schools response. That’s appalling. They absolutely can (and should) be involved in a safeguarding issue like that.

Teenage girls are horrendous!
everyone nods

But not my DD!

It's always someone else's daughter...

What do you mean by "years of tip toeing around and being the bigger person"?

That sort of implies that there's a long history of mild bickering between these girls. That's not to say that your daughter isn't a nice girl, but she's not necessarily a perfect beacon of kindness and caring either. Which is fine and normal.

And FYI, it's not necessarily a great tactic to "be the bigger person". For starters, it's a sort of implied moral superiority that stops you wondering if the other person actually has a point. That could get people's backs up. And it also shirks actually tackling the issue head on and talking it through.

Why are people still posting? I’ll take the win of 55% of voters agree with me 😊

Since you didn't add a poll, did you actually go through and count up results?

Apologies for posting though, I must have missed you declaring an end to the thread earlier, because that is definitely how the internet works.

You would presumably believe your child if she said a friend had done something mean.

But the way the mum describes it doesn't really explain exactly what happened. Is she saying your child actually said 'I am going to spread rumours about you'? Or was it more, 'I'm going to tell others what you did'?

Either way the mum was trying to be supportive presumably to her kid. But can see it's probably not a massive deal as they are still friends.

She sounds a bit full on and if the daughter is being nasty or accusing her, then you should tell your kid to stop playing with her.

A little later to the party, but I would 100% keep that date, then I would watch them like a hawk (without them realising - if that's possible).Then if your DD is in the wrong, you can educate her and discipline her if necessary. If its the other girl, you can be sure to provide her mother with a full report.

Just use that line everyone lovesssss "i thought you'd want to know"

I'm a primary teacher (Not in UK) I do not copy and paste from a bank of comments when writing reports. However in non core subjects most of the children in my class are very similar, so it's quite hard to write the same thing multiple times in different ways. The general teacher comments are harder to write because it is more personal and has to be worded as positively as possible and I would personally never say anything like 'your child is an angel'. No kids are 'angels', my own 3 included. Children often behave very differently in school than they do at home x