To be sick of work collections/donations

[Monicageller221]

I’m starting to get stressed out with how many times work keep asking for collections and donations.

heres a list of things that they are asking for money for at the moment/over the past month.

• my managers birthday
• secret santa
• a meal (during work time)
• a Christmas present for my manager
• a Christmas collection for the boss (my managers manager)
• three people are getting married so there’s donations going for all three people
• a maternity leave donation for the boss who will be on may leave from jan

I’m trying to just ignore it and not put give money for absolutely everything, but people keep asking “don’t forget to do this, have you done this yet?” Etc and you end up feeling like you can’t say no. Even if it’s not a lot of money, it all adds up and I’m already skint from buying all of my things for Christmas. Someone on my team just said there’s going to be another collection going for something else and I said “another one?! Well I can’t contribute to that because there’s too much at once” and she said “I know but even if it’s just a couple of quid, I’m sure you can spare that” ok but I can’t?? Because like I said, a couple of quid here and there adds up, snd it’s more than I’m willing to spend on people that I work with that aren’t even in my team. It’s overwhelming. plus it’s not just a couple of quid for my managers birthday present, Christmas present, secret Santa and the meal. The meal alone is £30. Is it unreasonable to just say NO to all of these other donations?

Just say no. It should always be a choice, and like you say it all adds up. If I was running a business I would ban this kind of nonsense, except maybe for someone if they are leaving, just as acknowledgment? But birthdays, Christmas’s, some getting marriages, no thank you.

Just say no, sorry it’s not in my budget.

Why is everyone contributing to the managers and bosses presents? Surely they earn more than others and don’t expect their staff to spend money on them? Does everyone get a present or just them?

a member of my team right now is moaning saying “there’s only £10 in the bosses collection, it’s ridiculous, only two people have contributed” well people have got their own family to buy for for Christmas! This time of year is tight for a lot of people. Not everyone has the budget for all of these things omg. It’s driving me crazy. I’m going to stand my ground and not put anything in. I’m not being pressured into it

Everyone gets a present but it’s from a secret Santa. And then everyone also contributes to a present for the managers and boss

I don’t understand this mentality at all. I’m assuming the boss owns or runs the company and makes more money than the non-managers. I’d be cringing so hard as “the boss” if people who worked for me were being made to hand back some hard earned cash to buy me a present. A card signed by everyone would be thoughtful if the boss is nice though.

Or is there just one super keen type that takes it upon themselves to organise this stuff when no one else thinks it necessary?

Also my manager will already be getting a gift from his secret Santa so idk why I also have to contribute to another present for him off the team! We put in £10 each for a present for him, the budget for secret Santa is also £10, his birthday was 2 weeks ago so that was another £10, the meal tomorrow is £30.. it’s just ridiculous. And people in my team who don’t mind doing this and obviously have the money to do so are making comments and digs about people who aren’t. A member of my team literally came in and said “I’ve bought manager a present so you owe me £10 please everyone” 😫

I’ve never heard of a collection for a manager’s birthday or Christmas present - that one I’d dismiss out of hand. And why are there collections for this AND secret Santa (which I also don’t bother with) AND a Christmas meal? Totally OTT.

Leaving, big birthday, marriage and baby collections for colleagues I like and know well, I’m personally happy with. The rest, no.

It never changes does it, these collections always seem to be run by the ‘I tell it like it is types’ that everyone is afraid to say no to, because usually falling out with them is like being on the bad side of the school bully, they seem to shout loudest so always get their way. But if enough people are brave enough to say no to collections in full view of others and also say the reason why, that you can’t afford to put in for collection after collection, others will see and be brave enough to do the same. All you can do is be vocal that you can’t do anymore. So many want to say no but fear the consequences of being seen as the bad guy, all you can do is hold your ground, your giving to collections will not be remembered, unfortunately not giving will, just stand your ground, these people are not your friends, you just work with them.

There is one super keen type in my team yes. But then some of the other teams have them as well. “The boss” isn’t the big boss of the company but is the head of the wider team. So I work in recruitment, which is my smaller team. We are also a part of the wider “people services” team that consists of recruitment, HR and payroll. So my manager is the manager of recruitment, and then the boss is the head of people services.

I told the keen member of my team that I would sign the card and she said “if you don’t put in money then you can’t sign the card because it’s not fair” HUH?? What kind of logic is this?

As a manager who has approx 50 people reporting to them I'd be horrified if people were forced to donate towards a gift for me. One of my team has just given me a Christmas card which I was really pleased to receive, that's enough!

Please decline and feel no shame whatsoever.

Sounds like a lot of unnecessary collections there. I don't mind contributing to collections at work but we only collect for going away present and maternity presents.

Collecting for weddings, Christmas presents for managers AND birthday presents for managers all sounds a bit much to me.

Exactly this. Office gifts should never go upwards. Its won't to expect staff to pay to a prese for a manager!

I know, the person in my team who organises this said to me that we have to take our manager out of the room to give him his present in private because the other teams don’t buy presents for their managers so she doesn’t want to rub it in their faces. Yes they don’t buy a present for their manager because they are included in secret Santa and are already getting a gift!! They don’t need two do they

I don’t put into contributions….if I like the person and am friendly with them, I may buy something from me….eg one colleague, who I socialise with, I’ve worked with for 15 years had a recent big birthday. Other than that no…..I never go on team social evenings…..I have my friends and family if I want to be social. Presents for managers 🤣🤣🤣 unheard of

I wouldn’t even be going to the meal but it’s during work time. It was optional but I’d be sat in the office working on my own while the rest of them are out for food. So I decided I would go to that one. However I might just cancel that or call in sick or something because I’ve had enough now

Honestly, if anything the manager should buy their team members a present, not the other way around. I also think secret Santa is enough.

And yes, these things are optional but I often feel that nowadays less private.

I remember working in a biggish place and we just had an envelope passed around for a cash collection.

If I was skinned I would just give a bit of small change.

I’ve never worked anywhere where the staff have bought Christmas presents for the managers (in addition to Secret Santa). If a member of staff takes it upon themselves to go out and buy a present for the boss without consulting anyone else, then they’ve no right to expect anyone else to share the cost. It can just be a present from that one brown-noser employee.

This is way over the top. Far too many collections and especially tricky just before Christmas.
No presents for bosses, mat leave shouldn’t be a collection before baby has arrived safe and sound. No birthday presents unless maybe a ‘big’ birthday.
Leaving/retirement if you want to contribute.
Christmas meal might be nice but only if menu/venue/budget is sensible.

You said that the gift to the mana is fine in private, do you think you could raise this with one of the other managers, abs ask them to have a word with your manager?
Really though, your manager should have put a drop to this themselves!

So you all get a crappy £10 present each and they get a collection and a decent present. Sod that just don't do it

A couple of years ago I calculated how much I'd spent on my colleagues' weddings, maternity leaves and baby presents, having never done any of those things myself. I immediately decided to not contribute ever again unless the colleague was a friend. It gets astronomical, especially if you work in a large organisation. I work with someone who's had one wedding and 4 maternity leaves in the past decade, 5 huge collections!

YANBU. I've saved so much money since and I just say "sorry, I won't be donating to this".

You’re right OP, it’s way OTT.

Never heard of staff buying the boss a Christmas gift. As a pp said, it’s the boss buying the staff gifts if anything.

Secret Santa, mat leave, wedding at a push, meal out I would pay for. Christmas gifts for managers and bosses? No.

I know you have already said no but just stand your ground and say id just like to make it known I won't be contributing to individual gifts or birthdays. I will participate in secret Santa (if you want to) and thats it. If you have already bought a present im sorry but I did say previously its not in my budget. If others are happy to they are welcome but personally I am sticking to secret Santa and thats it. I am well aware of all the collections and if I want to donate I know who to contact so please stop asking. If needs be I would raise it with the boss that people are pressuring other into constant collections and it should be a choice ur manager needs to nip it in the bud and realise its voluntary