To be sick of work collections/donations

[Monicageller221]

I’m starting to get stressed out with how many times work keep asking for collections and donations.

heres a list of things that they are asking for money for at the moment/over the past month.

• my managers birthday
• secret santa
• a meal (during work time)
• a Christmas present for my manager
• a Christmas collection for the boss (my managers manager)
• three people are getting married so there’s donations going for all three people
• a maternity leave donation for the boss who will be on may leave from jan

I’m trying to just ignore it and not put give money for absolutely everything, but people keep asking “don’t forget to do this, have you done this yet?” Etc and you end up feeling like you can’t say no. Even if it’s not a lot of money, it all adds up and I’m already skint from buying all of my things for Christmas. Someone on my team just said there’s going to be another collection going for something else and I said “another one?! Well I can’t contribute to that because there’s too much at once” and she said “I know but even if it’s just a couple of quid, I’m sure you can spare that” ok but I can’t?? Because like I said, a couple of quid here and there adds up, snd it’s more than I’m willing to spend on people that I work with that aren’t even in my team. It’s overwhelming. plus it’s not just a couple of quid for my managers birthday present, Christmas present, secret Santa and the meal. The meal alone is £30. Is it unreasonable to just say NO to all of these other donations?

This is definitely NOT okay! No one knows what other people's financial circumstances at work. Even a manager could have a DH just made redundant etc. Donations should be purely voluntary and private. A collection envelope or even better online platform allows for anonymous giving. Small donations should be welcomed and appreciated, but regardless there should be a way for people to contribute non-finacially, like signing a card. An open discussion about how this puts a lot of pressure on people at a financially stressful time sounds in order. If you feel awkward about raising it, do you have a HR team or a friend at work who would do it?

New baby AND a mat leave? For the same person?

I don’t go to office time meals….I go out and do my own bit of shopping….or I wfh that day

We had a 3 collections for 1 person this year ….feb was her 40th……June she got married…..September she left for a new job🙄…. I mean , fuck that 🙄…. I didn’t like or dislike her….just someone I shared office space with and had a chat with from time to time…..I don’t contribute to any collection, so it didn’t bother me…..but lots of moans and groans from others although they still gave money

YANBU. I have found this to be so stressful in my new job. We have a really large team and ‘significant birthday’ collections are a thing. It’s relentless and I just can’t afford it.

I refuse them. Simple as that.
I buy people a gift if I want to. Game over.

We have had loads of people leave recently, attrition is sky high. Some I've spoken to once. I just decline to put in.

I am thankful that in my last job the CEO did not approve of forced collections. There could only be collections for major life events - not normal birthdays - and it was entirely 'opt in'. An envelope would be put somewhere, a note went round, and you popped money in if you wished. Similarly, Secret Santa was entirely opt in. The CEO himself was known to be a generous contributor but his own birthday, age, etc, was a closely guarded secret.

My colleague who runs ‘birthday club’ (which is more of a birthday and every other collection club) makes sure to spread out collections, so if December is a heavy month she sends out the info from October so we can spread the cost.
birthday club you opt into and everything else is a choice too.

if you don’t want to donate use your big girl voice

It is all voluntary.
Maybe buy a card IF you want to.
Say, 'no thank you' when you are invited to contribute. The first time is the hardest. After that, it is a good habit.

Wtf? That's just not how it works.

This is a secret tax on working.
When I was working I spent over £30 a month on collections.

I came out of social fund it was getting ridiculous. Someone got hundreds of pounds for a baby. I just said I'm not doing it anymore.
If people didn't like it tough

Last year in my place it was bonkers. There was both a lunch and a dinner (that we paid for), drinks out, Christmas jumper day, secret Santa, a birthday, collection for boss (earns 3times my salary), collection for security and collection for cleaners (don't begrudge those) and an engagement announcement.
I got a (nice ish) candle and a bottle of wine from secret Santa. So about a £15 gift I didn't need and the office had cost me over £200. I can't easily afford that.
This year, I made my excuses for out-of-hours events and had a strategic annual leave day. I went to one lunch, did secret Santa and threw in for maintenance staff.
I saw that the collections were arranged by a colleague who still lives at home and is quite the brown-noser. No-one thanks you for going short yourself.

I used to donate to millions (hospital ward) but then I had a baby and then I left and I never even got a card...never bothered again in new jobs.

Get the manager gifts for Christmas and birthdays stopped! Going forward maybe organise a social committee/fund at work - £10/20 at start of year or whatever and that covers flowers for bereavements/big birthdays/wedding/baby gifts without the constant asking for money?

YES! Every week theres birthdays, someone getting married, someone having a baby, etc etc. We even all recently put £5 in for flowers for a manager who’s elderly dad was in the hospital for a bit. I wouldn’t actually usually mind but they never bother to do anything for my birthday because it’s in early December and too close to Christmas. I also lost my mum in November and a week later gave birth to my baby girl and I didn’t get anything for either of those events either (the team knew about both), so I’ve decided I’m not putting any money in for anyone else now 😒

We do a £10 Secret Santa but you’re not forced to join in - you opt into it, rather than opt it. We certainly don’t give the boss a present, but he gives us (good quality) advent calendars. We had a meal one evening last week, which was optional. The only collection we’ve done was for a Christmas present for the office cleaner.

Who buys their manager a present! Should be the other way round surely?!

You could suggest setting up online card and/or gift giving in future. It is MUCH easier to opt out but you can still sign the card.

£30 sounds a lot for a lunch time meal - is it a few courses?