To be sick of work collections/donations

[Monicageller221]

I’m starting to get stressed out with how many times work keep asking for collections and donations.

heres a list of things that they are asking for money for at the moment/over the past month.

• my managers birthday
• secret santa
• a meal (during work time)
• a Christmas present for my manager
• a Christmas collection for the boss (my managers manager)
• three people are getting married so there’s donations going for all three people
• a maternity leave donation for the boss who will be on may leave from jan

I’m trying to just ignore it and not put give money for absolutely everything, but people keep asking “don’t forget to do this, have you done this yet?” Etc and you end up feeling like you can’t say no. Even if it’s not a lot of money, it all adds up and I’m already skint from buying all of my things for Christmas. Someone on my team just said there’s going to be another collection going for something else and I said “another one?! Well I can’t contribute to that because there’s too much at once” and she said “I know but even if it’s just a couple of quid, I’m sure you can spare that” ok but I can’t?? Because like I said, a couple of quid here and there adds up, snd it’s more than I’m willing to spend on people that I work with that aren’t even in my team. It’s overwhelming. plus it’s not just a couple of quid for my managers birthday present, Christmas present, secret Santa and the meal. The meal alone is £30. Is it unreasonable to just say NO to all of these other donations?

YANBU. I have never put in money towards a collection and I don’t feel bad about it. It really annoys me. You don’t know people’s financial situation and begging envelopes for x y and z every other month is insane. I will sign a card but that’s my limit. I am in the public sector and we don’t have money spare and often have to pay out of pocket for our own supplies etc. My opinion has always been that the company should foot a tenner towards a voucher or flowers towards whoever and leave us peasants out of it. I am not paid enough and I’d rather give a tenner to charity!

I also wouldn’t bother with a secret Santa either.

People in my team who don’t mind doing this and obviously have the money to do so are making comments and digs about people who aren’t

Not their place, but if there's only £10 in the kitty at least it sounds like you're not alone

A member of my team literally came in and said “I’ve bought manager a present so you owe me £10 please everyone”

Unless you agreed to this beforehand you actually owe them nothing, and frankly I'd be saying so

The enforced collection for presents for managers thing is insane! Like a pp said, any gifts should flow downwards, managers to their staff. Noblesse oblige and all that.

If said managers had anything about them they would have knocked this on the head in previous years, saying 'thanks so much for the thought everyone but I really don't want you spending money on me at Christmas. Keep it for your families/friends/charity'.

this part sort of makes sense to me. If the card is accompanying the present then I agree it should only be signed by those who bought the present, as the card represents who the present is from. Particularly if they've spent quite a lot on it. If it was 'just' a card then of course everyone could sign it.

I also wouldn't include the meal in the things you are complaining about - a work Christmas meal is pretty much standard this time of year, you are doing it in work time (so getting paid to attend), and don't have to give up your evening, which lots of people would be thrilled about, £30 is very reasonable, and you are essentially paying for yourself to eat, so it's not money going to anyone else, you are paying for goods/service you receive.

Similarly, I would consider it normal to do a collection for the three weddings and boss having a baby - but the person is being a bit silly to collect now when a) everyone is paying for Christmas b) there are so many other collections and c) baby isn't due for another month or so - it would make more sense to do the collection after the baby is born.

However in general you shouldn't be pressurised into giving any money to anything, the person who bought the present then told everyone they had to repay them is being ridiculous, and it's unusual to expect staff to buy senior people birthday and christmas presents - as pp's have said it usually goes the other way. Secret santa should also be optional.

Do not pay £10 for a gift you didn’t agree to purchasing.

Also presumably there's no kind of check on the honesty of the person organising collections. Could she be taking a cut for herself?

Yes I can see where you’re coming from with the card actually, it’s a good point.

with the meal, I know it’s different to contributions etc but I was just making the point that I’m already paying for so many things without also having to pay contributions too. I wouldn’t mind the maternity and wedding donations etc if they were spread out snd we weren’t pressured. But the fact it’s all within a short space of time without any consideration to the fact that people maybe can’t afford all this is getting on my nerves

I'd feel awful for my team if they felt they had to buy me a gift. None of them are poorly paid but I think gifts should flow downwards. I buy them all a little something instead.

Omg same, and it’s driving me bonkers. I work with well over 200 people but I think our small “team” is about 12 of us; in the last month I’ve had to contribute to two leaving collections, new baby collection, mat leave collection and managers gift. So 5 collections that’s cost me £50 before Christmas. That’s like three hours work just on my colleagues and a few of them I barely know!!!

Collecting for the manager's Christmas and birthday is crazy - as a manager of a large team I'd be so embarrassed if my team did this and would probably judge the organiser for trying to suck up to me and putting pressure on others tbh so I wouldn't feel bad for not contributing if I were you. We do collections for babies and weddings but it's very much voluntary and we make sure everyone can sign the card regardless of whether they contribute so no one feels pressured. All my team are well paid but I still don't like the idea of forced contributions at work. As a manager I am forced by higher up managers to pay for my team's Christmas lunch and drinks which annoys me, not because I can't afford it but it's the expectation that I am fine to shell out £500 plus every Christmas that rubs me the wrong way. Still, that's better than forcing more junior members of the team to pay I suppose.

This is nuts. I've never worked in a place where staff buy the management a gift. It's normally the other way round. Who started this insanity?

I've never worked anywhere where the staff bought the manager a Christmas gift - it's always the other way round: the manager gives a gift to the office as a thank you for the hard work all year.

We have had 3 collections in the past 2 weeks, however it's unusual as one was a life event that doesn't happen regularly. 2 were for 2 different managers' Christmas gifts, however it was made clear that a contribution was voluntary and only £2/3 was put into each by everyone.
Both managers give all of us an individual Christmas gift, which will cost them more altogether than the gifts we buy them.

Have you come across “Ask a manager” its American so not always UK appropriate but she has published articles on gifting for managers several times. Basically she advises that gifts should flow downwards not up. Obviously there may be specific one off special circumstances like a baby or retirement but its gross and unreasonable that managers/ bosses should be getting gifts over and above participating in an office wide Secret Santa for example.

They get paid more and its wrong they are getting a special gift and you are being pressured by suck ups to participate. In my office the boss on considerably more money than me bought boxes of celebrations for the teams and a bottle of wine each for the immediate reports. Im sure he would cringe if we all clubbed together for a present for him.

I think it's weird to buy a present for the boss. Where I work I buy bottles of wine for my team. It's tradition and everyone does it. Public services. But no one buys me a present as I earn more than them.

That's the way it should be. People who earn more buy the presents not the other way round. I probably have less money than a lot of them actually as I'm on my own and they all live with partners but still not the point. The bosses buy for the people that aren't bosses. I would be embarrassed if one of the staff got me a present as they don't earn much money.

I’m absolutely sick of the endless school collections.

I can’t afford it! I don’t have the same amount of money to purchase donations and money for teachers, TAs, class reps. It’s all crazy. We’re living pay to pay here, I’m sick of it.

Our workplace is very similar. I think the last time I checked, we had 12 collections for people leaving/offsick/may leave. Plus each team gov tributes to a gift for their manager. My husband works with me and has a team and he buys for all 15 of his team members. There is also various collections for things like Christmas Jumper day which go to charity.

Say no or give 10p each

I no longer contribute to anything and I skip any meals/drinks/team building when I have to pay out of my pocket

It's in very poor taste to ask for a collection for a management gift - gifts should flow down, not up.

You absolutely don't have to contribute- I'd tell them to do one refuse (I'd participate in secret santa or if it's someone I am close to).... The only way it will stop imo unfortunately is if people say no.

I'm a manager and I bought all of my team presents to show my appreciation for their hard work, I definitely don't want people who earn less than me to buy me a present.

We have loads in my work place too…

Birthdays are normally £2.50 contribution and we have 6 people on our team.
Manager gave us all a gift so we have now put in £3 for that each.
When someone’s parents passed away we get flowers, another £3
someone’s cat died so another £3
someone went for an OP so £5
2 weddings this year … people were asked to contribute too.

I do not put in for anyone else not on my immediate team, even when the email goes around several times.

There shouldnt be gifting upwards, the managers should put a stop to it. For birthdays, weddings etc, there should be a standard amount (personally I'd have 0 for weddings/birthdays, an amount for parental leave and an amount for people leaving) which is either covered by the company or done as a collection. If people are close friends, organise gifts outside work.

Do you have any standing to ask your boss or HR? Eg "Recently we've had a lot of collections and I'm concerned we're putting people in a difficult position at an expensive time of year and potentially opening ourselves up to problems if people end up receiving significantly different values of gifts for significant events - could we standardise this?"
If anyone asks about presents for your boss, I'd just say "it's not in my budget".

I don't understand about the two bosses presents but otherwise it's a case of this is the normal at that work. Opt out if you want but you need to be clear that you won't receive gifts either

I've never worked in a place where staff had to buy the manager a present. The manager just did secret santa with everyone else. That's actually madness! If the organiser wants to try and kiss their arse, that's fine. But don't let them do it at your expense. I'd put my foot down with that one.