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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Guilt trip

2 replies

Gramaphone · 16/12/2024 21:04

My parents are elderly and both have health issues.
To get to them, takes a minimum of 12 hours for me as the journey includes ferry crossing. I have 2 brothers, both within 3 hours of parents.
last year, mum was poorly a couple of times, I managed to get over, stayed a few days and took Dad to hospital, did his meals etc.
Unfortunately, Dad is now in hospital. Brothers are alternately attending and looking after Mum. Obviously it’s near to Xmas and so more stressful in that that my brothers plans are having to be changed etc.
i am phoning every day, and video calling both parents but I get guilt trips as I can’t be there to do ‘my bit’ - I am working and I have checked ferry but they are all fully booked until early January!
aibu to let brothers deal with it all? I can’t get there!

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 16/12/2024 21:08

If there’s no way of getting across to them then of course you’re not being unreasonable.

Endofyear · 16/12/2024 23:00

It's obviously not ideal that you can't get to see them, especially over Christmas but it is what it is. Can you book the ferry for early January and let your brothers know that you'll be there then to give them a break? Can you take over any admin tasks/online food shopping/arranging carers to take some of the weight off them?

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