Tell me happy stories of your 40s - did you find love and happiness?

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I won’t go in to the woe is me tale, short version is that I have been let down badly yet again by another man. I turned 40 this year, don’t feel as attractive as I used to and feel hopeless for the future. I know 40 is not old, I know I am lucky to be healthy and I have a wonderful son, a great relationship with his dad and a good career.

I think I am looking for inspiration from anyone who has/is enjoying their 40s and feeling great, happy, who may have found love when not looking for it or, even if you didn’t find anyone, found happiness.

Please tell me your happy stories to cheer me up. I feel extremely low at present

I met Mr Pony when I was 45, three years after splitting with my exH. He is pretty much the best thing that has ever happened to me, and we're getting married next year.

I'm 40 and although it feels quite crap, I try to see the positives that make us more attractive - not caring what people think, being worldly-wise, good conversationist, and knowing what we want.

Can't speak for meeting someone else but I know that there are plenty of single men out there asking themselves the same question! Don't give up hope!

I'm 41, 42 early next year. And honestly, I've never been happier being single than I have right now. So maybe I'm not who you want to hear from.
But, I love my life, my independence, my life with my DD(11) and picking fabulous holidays to go on. I just want to say it can still be amazing with just yourself and your DS.

When I became single at 34 though I had a few years adrift and lost, not quite knowing what I wanted from life. A friend set a challenge of doing a 40 x 40 list, 40 things to do by 40 years old. It gave me a massive boost. I got a red belt in a martial art, I saw the northern lights in Iceland two days before my 40th birthday with my DD next to me, we mushed huskies in Lapland, I took line dancing lessons and read a book a week for 6 months. I learned to bake a cake and took up rollerskating again. It gave me a complete distraction. Maybe you could do something similar. Rather than focus on finding someone.

If I've missed the mark completely I'm really sorry, I just wanted to show that you can live a wonderful life regardless.

I didn’t, but DH did. He met me!

We’ve been married coming up to 25 years, met at work and are looking forward to having fun in our retirement.

Wife and I got together when we were both in our 40's, now married and ten years in.

My life is better in every conceivable way because she is in it.

Love my 40s...best years of my life...we escaped the rent trap, got dd and I never had so many friends....hated my 30s everything went wrong ..lots of moving, job issues...

Oh no, please don’t apologise! I want to hear all these positive stories from people like you who are living their lives with such purpose. Thank you

My 40s were the hottest decade of my life. OP you are in your prime. Your prime I tell you!

This put a big smile on my face. Thank you ☺️

I mean, my purpose at the moment is monopoly go and lounging in PJs - it's definitely not all full on, but I definitely found things for me to do and it's been fun.

My friend has taken up salsa and loves it. She goes to full salsa evenings now and loves it.

Oh yes met my dream guy at 40 dream
home 41 wedding of dreams 42 and had SO MUCH SHIT beforehand. Anything is possible!!

Wonderful strangers on the internet, you are massively cheering a sister up. Thank you 🙏

I'm 41, was mostly single for the last 6 years save a few catastrophic situationships. I went to therapy for various reasons and also decided to embrace that it was just me now even though it was disappointing. Well I met someone then. It's early but it's the best I've ever known :)

Met and married early 40s. Had never wanted to marry previous partners so had turned down proposals. I guess I would have been happy single. You truly don't know what is around the corner OP. Chin up.

Yep ;)

Met DP when I was mid 30s and he early 30s- we were good friends. Got together 5 years ago when I was early 40s and he late 30s, we've been living together for 4 years now. He's my soulmate.

I agree with this wholeheartedly! The 40s can be an absolutely fabulous time! Embrace it, and you, when you start to feel like yourself again. And you will.

I found my love aged 43. My first marriage broke down; then, at 38, I met someone who turned out to be horribly abusive. I was glad to get out but figured that I’d used up my chances. I signed up for online dating hoping I’d meet someone to go out with and have a bit of companionship. But met my beloved instead. He’s younger than me, I thought it would be my last fling. Nearly twelve years later we are still going strong and I am so grateful for him every day. I would never have believed it.

No love story in my 40s because I can't be arsed, but my DC leaving home, me moving somewhere new and downsizing, paying off the mortgage. Making fabulous new friends, volunteering, discovering new hobbies...

Yep. 40s are a brilliant decade! I'm 53 now and still do a little dance every day because the decisions I made in my 40s have lead to an amazing life now.

But urgh to a relationship. Just why?! I don't want a bloke barging into my independence and I have enough friends for company.

Yep. 40s are a brilliant decade! I'm 53 now and still do a little dance every day because the decisions I made in my 40s have lead to an amazing life now

I love this! It’s like your 40 year old self gave your future self a present

I met my husband when I was 40 after 10 years being mostly single.

It's been 18 years now, he's never stopped being wonderful and we have a lovely life together!

But where did you all meet these lovely men?? Have I just been unlucky 🤦‍♀️

You have to be absolutely ruthless - it's a numbers game. Have your non-negotiables in place, bin anyone who doesn't grab your attention in the first couple of messages and meet ASAP, no lengthy back-and-forward text convos.

Yes. I had to do the work so I could not only spot but ACT ON the 🚩 and then I met him. We are really happy, he’s my best friend.

I met him organically, not online, btw. I don’t think OLD men are really looking for a real human woman, somehow. They’re shopping for an idealised image in their heads.

You know, I just lost my love. And it’s OK (even if I have to remind myself of that couple of times a day). I feel great, I look great, I just took up pole dancing where I am surrounded by amazing women telling me how strong I am. I have wonderful friends, loving family. No children so this stings at times but it is also OK because I am free to make decisions. I can emigrate to Australia tomorrow if I wanted to. Life’s good. Really good. And the hole left by loss will fill one day. I am very hopeful. It is not over for me yet. I am sure of that.

I met my DH at 38, married at 40, kiddo at 41 and am the happiest I've ever been. I'd been single for a few years before I met him and like a pp mentioned, I had a cast-iron list of qualities I wanted in a partner and felt strongly that I'd rather stay single (and happy! I'd built a good life for myself) than settle. I have no doubt that the best is yet to come for you.