Tell me happy stories of your 40s - did you find love and happiness?

[Errors]

I won’t go in to the woe is me tale, short version is that I have been let down badly yet again by another man. I turned 40 this year, don’t feel as attractive as I used to and feel hopeless for the future. I know 40 is not old, I know I am lucky to be healthy and I have a wonderful son, a great relationship with his dad and a good career.

I think I am looking for inspiration from anyone who has/is enjoying their 40s and feeling great, happy, who may have found love when not looking for it or, even if you didn’t find anyone, found happiness.

Please tell me your happy stories to cheer me up. I feel extremely low at present

I made a lot of friends through feminist campaigning, & also through volunteering for my local cat shelter & chatting to women at the gym.

As other posters have said it really is about getting out & doing things that you want to do, then if you click with someone suggesting meeting up for a coffee & seeing what happens.

When I was 17 I went to Germany on an exchange programme (from NZ) - on NYE 1998/99 I kissed a boy in my class at the local Gymnasium, we were an item for a few weeks until I flew back to NZ a month later, never wrote back to him 😳 And assumed I’d never see him again.

I met my ex husband a couple of years later when I was 20, we married when I was 27. Over that time I worked hard, built a good career for myself, but exH who had always been quite selfish and controlling, became increasingly abusive, especially after our 2 DC arrived when I was 33 and 36. My 30s were quite a lonely decade as I felt increasingly isolated, struggled to balance work and basically being a married sole parent and exH just became worse and worse.

3 years ago, When I was 40 I told exH I wanted to separate and literally a week later I got a message from my high school old flame from the otter side of the world … I hadn’t had any contact with him for 24 years. We exchanged a few messages and by sheer amazing incredible dumb luck - or fate, we both happened to be in the same city for conferences shortly afterwards. We went out for dinner and it was as if no time had passed - I felt seen and loved for the first time in 25 years. It was a coup de foudre but nothing happened (although I desperately wanted it to - exH and I were still living in the same house and it just didn’t feel right) and the next day I caught the early Eurostar to London and cried all the way thinking I would never see him again. That was November.

A horrible fraught split with exH ensued which was horrendous in every way (threats to safety, he stole tens of thousands of dollars, just utterly awful). When high school old flame found out we had really split for good he sent me flowers for that valentine’s day and we agreed to meet in New York that May where we kissed for the first time in 24.5 years at JFK airport. That was 18 months ago and we are so happy and have an insane long distance relation where we travel between NZ and Europe and meet in the middle.

I’ve also had a promotion, bought the family home off my ex, had therapy, and have close to sole custody of my kids. Leaving an abusive man single handedly is no picnic, and over that time I had to put down my darling dog and my beloved dad died so it’s really been the worst of times, sometimes - but I am at my core the happiest and most content I have ever been, our life is calm and stable, my kids are happy and I truly believe DP is the love of my life. And it all happened after so turned 40 @Errors !!

I met the most incredible man at 39, married him in my 40's. Wasn't easy as had huge problems with his kids but grown up now so things have calmed down.

Married in my mid to late 40s after being widowed at 40

Have you looked at your local meetup groups? I have some really quirky ones going on and every now and then I join some slightly nerdy young men on a cinema trip to see an art film. This is very niche and I like the group as it is small, they are super awkward and we are mostly there for the film which makes the whole experience very non-threatening to me. There are certainly larger and more boisterous groups on offer which I am building up to (I am autistic so this is a big ask but something I am determined to do).
Also check out your local community center as they might have something fun going on.

Meetup | Find Local Groups, Events, and Activities Near You

My mum was widowed at 49. She met her second partner five years later. He died twelve years later. Then after a few years? She met her third...

Thing is, she stays active, interested, social, goes out, joins things, is conversational and makes an effort.

All the very best. You're young enough to be my daughter. Your life may only be half run. Let act 2 be fun and full.

Left an emotionally abusive marriage, after 16 years together, aged 40 with 2 kids. Very successful in my career which meant I could leave without the typical money issues that trap women.

Had an invigorating prolonged fling with a much younger man (26) who helped rebuilt my confidence. Then some time to myself before my first foray into Tinderland…set an open minded criteria (rugby shorts), met a couple of players in both senses of the word and then at 41 met a lovely 29 year old rugby player with a PhD. His spelling was terrible and a judgier me would have swiped left but 3 years later we’re living a happy and supportive life which is a million miles from my previous relationship.

So be open minded and retain your sense of fun in your 40s and there’s so much out there

I hadn’t known about this but just had a quick look, this looks such a good idea! There is literally a meet up on Saturday for a big walk around one of my local parks. I’m not sure if I will go as I’m still licking my wounds, pathetically, but it’s nice to know I could just do something like this and have plans for the weekend to do something I enjoy. Thank you so much!

This made me well up with happy tears. Thank you so much x

I had both my children in my 40s, so it was a wonderful (though tiring) decade for me.

Met 2nd DH at work,had been going through a really bad time (ex H tried to kill me, homeless,DM dying, father getting a girlfriend 6 weeks after her death.) DH dad who brought him up had just died. Got together had a baby at 41 ( my GP said with my gynae history I had better get a move on) well by 43, fully post menopausal!!

Oh, this year was our silver wedding anniversary.

Wow, I’m sorry you had to go through all of that! But glad you got a happy ending