Tell me happy stories of your 40s - did you find love and happiness?

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I won’t go in to the woe is me tale, short version is that I have been let down badly yet again by another man. I turned 40 this year, don’t feel as attractive as I used to and feel hopeless for the future. I know 40 is not old, I know I am lucky to be healthy and I have a wonderful son, a great relationship with his dad and a good career.

I think I am looking for inspiration from anyone who has/is enjoying their 40s and feeling great, happy, who may have found love when not looking for it or, even if you didn’t find anyone, found happiness.

Please tell me your happy stories to cheer me up. I feel extremely low at present

Divorced at 34.....single for 12yrs bringing up kids....didn't think I'd find anyone again....met someone 🥰 when I was 46 and been very happily dating them for the last 2.5yrs. Good luck xx

I met my dream man at 44, married at 46 and now 10 months away from 50 I’ve never been more content and happy 🩷

At 41 I entered a Valentines Day competition to win a free years membership of a national dating agency. After a few matches met my husband and been married over 20 years now. At 40 I hadn't met "the one" so I just thought - well not meant to, not my destiny - so just decided to enjoy life and see what it had to offer and to be more adventurous. I went to college and got a HNC qualification. I think the shift in attitude and more peaceful, optimistic outlook worked for me. Good luck and wishing you all the best things in life.

Met DH at 44 and got married at 51.

My 40s were great, 50s better, 60s proving best yet. I love being older (although still 17 in my head!)

Life was shit until the age of 49 when Ieft my stalking, needy, grasping ex and moved to the other side of the world. Met the man of whom I could say "So this is what it is all about, the secret of perfect happiness". Twenty-five years later, we live in a cocoon of utter contentment, and he has truly been "the wind beneath my wings".

What a lovely thread! I am 45 and very low, but this thread has given me hope!

My late 40s were the best years for me, though it took me a while to realise it. I went through a horrible divorce, was literally on my knees and so so lost. But I came out the other side as a fiercely independent woman, having realised that I'd spend my whole life being a people-pleaser to my total detriment. Then I met my kind, lovely DP at a time I was resolutely single. And now in my mid-50s I am more together and happier than I have ever been. I am very lucky.

I met my partner at the age of 44 after being single for many, many years. I got diagnosed with advanced cancer last year at the age of 47 which I feel is extremely unfair on both of us but what can you do.

Ended my abusive relationship at 45, had a year adjusting to being a single mum, a year thriving as a single mum and a year ago I met a gorgeous man who restored my faith in relationships. Going into 49 looking forward to the last year before my 50s… and to my 50s as well!

Met my lovely chap at 42 after years of crappy dating (but some excellent stories!) when I was volunteering on a community centre bar at his friends birthday party.

I asked him out a few weeks later. Took him on a date. The rest is history. We are now 9 years down the line. :)

Don’t live together (it works better that way for us!) but only a town apart and together every weekend and random dates mid week and off for gigs, holidays and festivals and camper trips throughout the year.

he’s a bit older than me 14 year age gap - but he’s a very young 64 and very healthy and we will face whatever happens in the years to come. I’m the one always ill due to an immune system disorder so he might be my career yet. ;)

never too old to start dating or meet someone new.

i had stopped making it a focus and what I decided to do instead was have new experiences. Volunteer in new places, join new hobbies, eat at new places… say yes to more opportunities. I feel the joy we put out into life attracts similar energy and when we aren’t looking - we will find our matches.

I also feel that you need to be seeking help or on the way to recovery from previous trauma and insecurities to really be in the best place for new starts. A partner compliments who I am as a person - they don’t complete me. I’m already complete as a person in my own right.

I got divorced at 40, focussed on me and my lovely kids for a while, started dating (never had a problem with online dating, just don't expect immediate success), had one relationship that didn't work out but I enjoyed at the time then met my partner in my mid-40s. That was 5 years ago. I've enjoyed my 40s so much though they were so different to what I had expected up till then. Keep an open mind, a positive attitude and believe in yourself.

I'm just turned 41. I'll tell you how I found my happiness when I find it OP. Until then, I'll cry when I hide in the bathroom, I'll not eat due to anxiety and I'll continue to plaster a smile on my face to stop my friends and family from worrying.

I got divorced when I was 44, had met another chap at a local club, went out with him for a couple of years; he left (he was much younger her than me, but it was great fun while it lasted) and he signed me up on a dateline - I kissed a few frogs (as someone upthread has said, you need to be absolutely sure what you’re looking for, and be sure that they are on the same page - there are sadly many who are looking for a hook-up rather than a relationship) - happily for me, I eventually met my chap, and we have been together over twenty years and married nearly fifteen. So one’s forties can be a decade of positive change.

I’m 51. Turning 40 was the impetus I needed to get out of my crap relationship.

During my 40s, initially with the help of antidepressants, I started a new career, made loads of new friends, bought a flat, ran a half marathon & started learning Italian & fostering cats. So far in my 50s I’ve taken up weightlifting and adopted (been adopted by?) a fabulous tabby.
I’ve never been happier.

This sounds wonderful.
How do I go about making new friends??
I have some lovely friends already but some weeks, I could go the whole week only ever seeing and talking to another adult face to face for a few hours a week

Sorry to see this message. I hope you have some real life support. It's hard to tackle these things on your own

I think you get out what you put in. Start small eg suggest a walk with a neighbour. Join a team sport or club. Volunteer. Try to see your existing friends just a bit more often

Are you talking about the perimenopause? 😬🤣

I realised at 40 I was gay gay and not bi. Met a beautiful funny kind woman and I love her to bits. I would say 40 is when I started being unapologetically myself and I’m a much happier person because of it.

I’m 48. 2 dc. 4 years ago left controlling marriage. 2 years ago met amazing man. I’m fitter, healthier, I love my work, my home is lovely. Dc are happy. Simple life but lovely.

@Berlinlover I am sorry you've been dealt such a cruel hand. 💐

I think you just have to put yourself in proximity with others. Join a club, start a course (something that goes on, like a running club or an evening class in drawing or Spanish or pottery). This will give you all something in common, and a time period to establish new relationships in.

But if you see it primarily as an opportunity to do something you want to do, you will get more back because it will be intrinsically satisfying, and the other people doing it with you can be taken on their merits rather than you trying to make them be more to you (I’m not saying you will do this, my words feel clumsy this morning, but if you enjoy the activity then the pressure is off for the relationships and that’s probably better for their formation IYSWIM).

No, that’s currently my 50s!

As an adult in my 40s I’ve met friends through work, and through social groups on Facebook.

I have joined a few groups that organise different social activities- so hiking and adventure stuff, but also trips to festivals, gigs and meals and nights out. I find these groups really valuable as a solo, if I have a free weekend there is always an event on that I can join. There are a few groups specifically for solos which is great as people understand and are in the same boat. Happy to recommend some if you like ☺️

Also like another poster, I did a challenge to try lots of new things by a set date. This was great as it gave me a focus at a time that I felt a little lost. I didn’t make long term friends from this as I did lots of short term challenges (eg one day volunteering etc), but it helped me find new things that I enjoy, and I’ll spend more time in those communities going forward.

Thanks for starting this thread OP - I’m mainly a happy solo, not sure if I ever want to date again, but the stories on here have given me hope that lovely folk are out there.

Yes please to recommendations ☺️